[michellew68]

I have read a few times on here that parents dont praise their children with good girl or good boy.

I give my DD lots of different praises. eg great listening, good job, thankyou for coming, you did that so well, etc.
I also often tell her she is a good girl. What is the reasoning behind that being the wrong thing to say?

I understand why I wouldnt say bad girl, as the behavior is wrong and not her, but why cant she be a good girl when she is?!

I have always told my DSs they are good boys. I didnt hear this objection around when they were little.

So my question is- Is it really a big deal?

[EssentialBludger]

I say good boy/girl

I think people are really over thinking this stuff tbh..

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

I don't think it's "that" bad but I do think there is a solid argument for not saying it. I think it's also a bit lazy.

5 Reasons to stop saying "Good Job"

[strawberry blond...]

I say good boy/girl

I think people are really over thinking this stuff tbh..

I agree with this.

[MrsLexiK]

I say good boy/girl

I think people are really over thinking this stuff tbh..

Yup, but I think many things are over thought. Especially on EB

[Sif]

No, it's not that bad, it's just another symptoms of parents with far too much time for hand-ringing. I once saw a post online of a mother who was absolutely distraught because her three year old had told her 1 year old that she was a good girl. The mother apparently sat the three year old down and told her she had 'hurt' her little sister by calling her a good girl!

Telling a three year old they have hurt their baby sibling seems far more harmful to a child than praising a child.

Insincere or overly profuse praising could be harmful, but any for of insincere communication with a child or focusing too much on one aspect of their being can be harmful, I think.

Parents showing sincere joy about their children's choices or behaviour - how is that bad???

[Klinkalink]

I say good boy/girl

I think people are really over thinking this stuff tbh..

Yep, another EB overthunkism.

[G.K]

I say good boy/girl

I think people are really over thinking this stuff tbh..

Totally overthinking!

I read somewhere that saying "Clever girl/Clever boy" is damaging our children because of some XYZ stupid overthought reason.

[Guest_Dinah_Harris_*]

I heap on lots of praise, which includes "good listening", "good sharing", "thanks for obeying mummy", "you were really nice to your sister", "that's a very good drawing", "you are very clever", "you have lovely hair" so on and so forth.

Frankly all the hand wringing over the "right" thing to say is ridiculous, in my opinion. Children need to know they are unconditionally loved, and that they have boundaries. That's pretty much my parenting philosophy in a nutshell.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Has anyone bothered to read of the theory with an OPEN mind - not a defensive one?

It's not "over" thinking it. Very little thought goes into it.

Do you tell your husband "good man" when he washes up? Does your partner say "good job!" when you make dinner?