I hate my stupid mouth that says stupid things when I want to be taken seriously.
Our neighbours' 21yo boy is having a massive Australia Day party. All day, thumping music and raucous yelling - all good, it doesn't happen often. But some of his friends are obnoxious drunks who like to hang out on their roof and throw crap at our house. And pee on our roof. And chuck bottles in our driveway. So I went out and yelled nicely up to the roofline, "please stop throwing things at our house, it is upsetting our children". Several minutes later, DH yells out "no, absolutely not - don't p*ss on our roof". Then I went face to face with a guy throwing bottles down our driveway and said they were getting out of line - we're ok with the music and all, but leave our property alone and let us relax in our own home.
He said I was sooooo gay, and I walked up really close to him, asking what his problem is.
Him: "go on, I know you want to touch me"
Me: "no, really I don't - but you don't threaten me and I want you to leave our property"
Him: pointing to DH, "I can see he wants to have a go at me..."
Me: "of course my husband wants to touch me"
I meant to say protect me.
And then they all went away laughing at me.