[Impatientmummy]

My parents are down babysitting while we work this weekend (self employed), I dont have the best relationship with my mum but do with dad, now while the relationship between us isn't good I know she loves the kids & will look after them, maybe not how I want but I have come to realise I just need to look at it as spoiling & not understanding my way.
However yesterday they took the kids to the beach, DD is only 4 months so of course with us working so much this warm weather we haven't had a chance, it was her first beach experience! I'm a little sad that we didn't get to do it, I'm not going to go off at them or anything but dh thinks I'm over reacting & when I rang to talk through my feelings with him (which he is usually really good at) he made me feel like an idiot I know I'll get over it with time as she wont remember it but I cant help that I feel a bit sad because we work so effing hard we missed out on a first with her.

So what do you think eb, am I being precious or is it valid to feel a little hurt at first given the circumstances?

ETA: Ok yes theres a bit more to it behind the work thing, we are selling because we miss so much with the kids that its just not fair on them anymore, so that maybe why its affected me even more because its another thing thanks to work I have missed

This post has been edited by Impatientmummy: 27/01/2013, 10:10 AM

[CharliMarley]

Your little 4 months old baby will not remember going to the beach without you. You will have many more times to do things with your baby when she gets older and she probably slept most of the time at the beach. When she gets to 4 and 5, that is the time they remember things from their childhood, so you have lots of lovely times ahead of you. Don't stress too much about what your mother is doing with your child, because as you say, she will look after her and she has already brought you up, so let her do it her way, it will not hurt at this age.

[twinboys]

Missing out on your DD's first trip to the beach - Sorry but that is precious. They are helping you out and it was a hot day.

Being resentful that you are missing out on family time is not being precious though.

Hope that makes sense!

[redkris]

A little bit precious yeah. I understand wanting to see your DD's "firsts", we all feel like that about our kids.
The thing is, though, that they are your DD's firsts. Not yours. Especially at this age, who is there with her is pretty unimportant. I know DH missed out on DS's first steps, but he (DS) was just so happy that he'd done it, and DH was happy to hear about it when he got home.
DS is heading off to kindy in two days, and I'm sure I'll miss out on heaps of firsts for him, but I just imagine how happy he'll be at doing new things for the first time and take myself out of the equation.

[~sydblue~]

I think with her only 4mts old, you are overreacting a little.
The important time is when she is older and can actually enjoy it. Take her then, and she will remember it.

[Miss Anthropist]

I don't think it's a valid reason to be upset - I think you are being a bit unfair on your Mum. I can, however, understand why you might have (irrational, IMO) feelings of resentment given your work situation and your not-great relationship with your Mum.

[abcd_efg]

I think that rates pretty low on the list of 'firsts' i would be worried about missing.

[FiveAus]

I never saw going to the beach as a "first" with the kids. It's just the beach, you will have fun with her there when she is older and can enjoy the waves and the sand. Make that your "first".

[Eirinn]

Sorry OP, I also think you are overreacting. Your parents did something lovely for you and your kids.

[Guest_3Keiki_*]

Nope totally precious! however it sounds like you are reacting to deeper feelings of missing out with the kids anyway.