[msro82]

Dd is 5 (6 in April)the last two weeks and she has been awful when going to sleep, carrying on for hours saying she can't sleep. Sometime she sleeps in and others she doesn't. She still needs 11-12 hrs sleep to be reasonable the next day.

I get that you can't just fall asleep if you are not tired, but I expect her To stay in her bed and read books or listen to gentle music. I don't expect her to get up, trash her room, be rude to be or hide in other parts of the house.

What is a suitable and targeted punishment for this for not staying in bed and doing what was asked? She really doesn't have a currency.

I expect this behaviour will lessen when school goes back next week, I am guessing its the lack of routine.

She is generally pretty good with bedtimes (well apart from the first 3.5 years of her life when she never slept!)

TIA

[-*meh*-]

first i would be assessing her bedtime to make sure its suitable for her... what time is bedtime?

Does she have a routine, one that calms her down before bed?

Then i would be removing anything from her room that is an "extra"... books, toys, teddies etc... hard to trash when you have limited things to trash with.

[msro82]

first i would be assessing her bedtime to make sure its suitable for her... what time is bedtime?

Does she have a routine, one that calms her down before bed?

Then i would be removing anything from her room that is an "extra"... books, toys, teddies etc... hard to trash when you have limited things to trash with.

Her bedtime is 6:30/7pm. Some people will say this is too early, but honestly she cannot cope with later.

We read a story together, then she picks out 3 books to 'read' by herself and she listens to her twinkle twinkle. Fail safe method for two years!

I get the feeling that she is testing how far she can go with mucking around at bedtime, one of the reasons I am seeking a suitable punishment. it will obviously have to take place the next day. When I refer to routine, I am meaning around what we are doing during the day (school holidays - I have always worked, this is her first time home for such a long period)

[EssentialBludger]

Probably not popular, but when DD can't sleep she is allowed to listen to an audiobook. She's usually asleep within half an hour.

[CrazySingleMum]

I would maybe look at changing the bedtime routine, tell her this is a 'big girl' bedtime routine. Nothing major, just tweaks that work for you. Also agree with removing distractions from the room.

Would a reward chart help for her??

[winterlove]

A couple of suggestions, I am not sure if they will help because they are very specific to my DS who is 4.

Firstly, he likes to fall asleep with his door open and the light in the hall way on - if he is going through a stage of coming out I threaten to close his door. It seems to work straight away although he could easily re-open it.

Secondly, he likes to take all sorts of toys with him to bed and I have at times confisicated toys if he keeps getting up.

Finally, if we are doing something special the next day I say that I may have to reconsider if he does not go to sleep.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

I would leave it and see what happens next week when school starts.

[*-*]

What exactly does she do, when she "can't sleep".

Have you asked her what is stopping her from sleeping? Some kids can have a REAL problem falling asleep.

[Ruffles]

Probably not popular, but when DD can't sleep she is allowed to listen to an audiobook. She's usually asleep within half an hour.

We do this too. Kids love them, especially roald Dahl reading his own books.

[librablonde]

Our DFS1 is 6 and did this so we told him (after trying incentives, rewards, Time Out's, changing bedtimes, quiet time before bed, etc and nothing worked), that if he played up at night-time or got out of bed before it was time (7am) then he would have to stay in bed longer in the morning. There were times he ended up staying in bed until mid-morning for seriously bad behaviour. He would rip the curtains down, rip framed pictures off his walls, pull everything out of his wardrobe and generally wake the entire family with his crashing around and screaming. So we told him that if he takes sleeping time away from the family by waking everyone that he would have to make up that time by staying in bed longer and giving us all peace again. At first he would scream and carry on during his extra bedroom time and we would tell him his time to make up didn't start until he was quiet. He soon learnt to stop carrying on and be quiet in his room and not come out of his bedroom. I would make sure he knew the other kids were doing something fun in another part of the house. Now the threat of having to spend longer in bed is usually all he needs to stop being destructive and settle himself down. His self-regulation of his behaviour has improved dramatically.

We also had to remove all stimuli from his bedroom: it is currently a bare bedroom with no toys or pictures. He earns toys to keep in his bedroom with quiet, respectful behaviour at bedtimes. He also loses the toy if he wakes the family with inconsiderate behaviour. We put a slide bolt on the top of his wardrobe so he couldn't open it and pull stuff out. Now if he is in a rage all he can do is pull the mattress off his bed and strip all the linen off. Any time he does that he has to put it all back on by himself (which is very difficult for a 6 year old, especially putting a quilt cover back on a quilt). So, he rarely does that now either. He's earning toys to keep in his room now.

All of this sounds extreme but we had to do this for his own safety and because sleep deprivation was causing so much stress for the whole family. Two months ago I also started him on therapeutic doses of Ethical Nutrients High Potency Fish Oil and his behaviour overall has improved dramatically. His rages are much less extreme now and he can focus and self-regulate more easily.

Again, I know it sounds extreme and the EB naysayers will say that all sounds barbaric, but we've had to do it and DFS is a much calmer, more rested boy as a result.

This post has been edited by librablonde: 30/01/2013, 06:50 AM