[Funwith3]

For those of you who have taken your babies to sleep school, or who have sought out professional help to get your babies to sleep -

How did you know you needed sleep school?

Was there a certain age that you used as a deadline? Ie if baby doesn't start sleeping properly by 6 months I'll call the sleep school. Or was there a certain point that you thought "I've had enough!"??? What was your baby doing that made you think you needed professional help.

I'm torn between thinking I have a normal baby, and thinking my baby is unreasonable!! Here's what she does over a 24 hour period. Please tell me is it acceptable, or not?

At 10 weeks old, with a dream feed, she would sleep through the night from about 7pm til 7am. At 4 months old, this stopped. She's now 8 months old. She is breast fed and has solids three times a day. I breast feed her to sleep for every sleep (my bad )...

She has two sleeps a day - each for about 1.5-2 hours. Occasionally she will also have a late afternoon nap in the car if we're out. I try to get her to bed at 7pm. She wakes again at about 7:45pm so I feed her back to sleep. Sometimes she wakes AGAIN at 8:30pm (or thereabouts) and again I feed her. I do a dream feed at about 11pm, but sometimes she'll beat me to it by waking at 10:30pm. We usually get a good block here until about 4am. Again I feed her. She wakes in the morning at about 7am.

Sometimes it's better than this. Sometimes it's worse.

Is she a normal 8 month old, or is there a problem here?

[Ally'smum]

I would have been thrilled with what you are describing.

DD only ever did 45 minute sleeps in the day and it would take about 45 minutes to go to sleep.

At night she cried from when we put her in bed at 7pm, to when I fed her again at 10pm (if I lasted that long, I would usually pick her up and hold her to sleep) then she would feed at 1, wake at 4 and then be up from 6.

I was so tired I couldn't function properly, that is when we went to sleep school.

[HezzaB]

Sounds a lot like my DD at that age, so I would think normal - including the sleeping through for a while then changing up again.

I rolled with it and she is still not the best sleeper at 16 months but I have not 'sleep trained' or 'tough loved' her as I know some of my friends' better sleepers have been.

I would consider trying to pull her off the boob before she's fully asleep, (look up Pantley if you haven't tried it) - pull her off as soon as she's asleep, then a little earlier, and a little earlier, until you can put her down groggy but awake and full. This could take a good couple of weeks of patience, but you *may* find she doesn't want boob every wake then (break the sleep association).

Good luck, broken sleep sucks.

ETA I have just realised this doesn't answer anything about sleep schools. I have considered it on bad nights but am too wuss to do it I think.

This post has been edited by HezzaB: 04/02/2013, 08:11 PM

[Funwith3]

At night she cried from when we put her in bed at 7pm, to when I fed her again at 10pm (if I lasted that long, I would usually pick her up and hold her to sleep) then she would feed at 1, wake at 4 and then be up from 6.

My DD would cry too if I left her, which is what has got me into the habit of just feeding her every time she cries.

But 1am, 4am and then 6am - that's not nice! We have definitely had a few of those though.

[Matthias' mum]

Sounds pretty much identical to my DD who is 7.5 months. She was sleeping through (from 8-5.30) for a couple of months, and when she go her new teeth, she stopped, and hasn't started again.

She generally goes to bed at about 7.30. She often wakes about 40 minutes later, and I give her the other side. She'll sleep till about 12.30, wake and feed, and then wake and feed again at about 4. she's up for the day at about 7am. Sometimes she skips the 12.30 feed, and wakes at about 3am instead.

Lately I've been finding it tough - 1 wake up doesn't bother me, but sometimes I'm up 3 or 4 times. At this stage I don't feel like we need sleep school. She has been getting lots of teeth lately (number 6 is coming through at the moment), and I think this is contributing to the sleep issues. I'm happy to wait it out a bit longer, and I just try to go to bed earlier.

I know the nurses and sleep schools tell you they don't need milk overnight, but I think 12 hours is a long time. I'm happy with one feed overnight for quite some time yet. If need be, I will get DH involved in the settling, to try and get her off to sleep without feeding.

[divineM]

When I couldn't handle the horrible screamsat every bed time and naptime I went to sleep school the first time. Then at an older age when I realised I had no energy to bea good mum during the day because of sleep depravation I went the second time. So basically each time it was when I could take it no more.

[KRT]

DS was like that AFTER sleep school! But we'd also had supply issues along the way, and he didn't feed to sleep.

What stopped him from waking up overnight asking for a feed? No idea. He just stopped one night, about two days before turning 8 months.

The reason we went to sleep school was because I felt like I was failing my son in every respect. Nothing I tried helped, and it was just getting worse. I was close to walking out the door.

What you're describing doesn't sound that abnormal, or that bad, to me, but it doesn't matter what I think - it matters how you and your partner and your baby are coping. And if it's too much for you, you're allowed to want it to be better and allowed to ask for help.

[Funwith3]

I was so tired I couldn't function properly, that is when we went to sleep school.

I forgot to ask - did sleep school help you? Did they do a controlled crying type of method?

Lately I've been finding it tough - 1 wake up doesn't bother me, but sometimes I'm up 3 or 4 times. At this stage I don't feel like we need sleep school. She has been getting lots of teeth lately (number 6 is coming through at the moment), and I think this is contributing to the sleep issues.

No I don't mind one wake up either - I think it's the evening part I hate. I just want to relax!!! My DD has no teeth yet (!!!!!) I can't believe yours is coming up to 6 teeth!

[Pooks*potters]

That does sound within the realms of normal. Perhaps one or two of those night feeds are more for comfort than nutrition. If its a problem for YOU then it's a problem. If feeding to sleep and a few short night wakings are ok for you, then it's not a problem. Does that make sense? Part of what sleep school can do is modify our expectations and behaviours as parents, it's not just about changing the child's behaviour.

I knew I needed sleep school because the lack of sleep was leading to me falling apart in every sense. DS was not quite 6 months old and had about 4/5 15/20minute naps, but only if I held him and didn't move. Otherwise, he simply wouldn't sleep and screamed and carried on. from about 8pm til midnight we would have screaming, feeding, dozing, waking and repeat sessions until he passed out and didn't wake when I put him down. Then I would get about 4 or 5 hours sleep. Then I would be up with him for 2-3 hours and then he would start the short naps in my arms thing again.

[Funwith3]

I knew I needed sleep school because the lack of sleep was leading to me falling apart in every sense. DS was not quite 6 months old and had about 4/5 15/20minute naps, but only if I held him and didn't move. Otherwise, he simply wouldn't sleep and screamed and carried on. from about 8pm til midnight we would have screaming, feeding, dozing, waking and repeat sessions until he passed out and didn't wake when I put him down. Then I would get about 4 or 5 hours sleep. Then I would be up with him for 2-3 hours and then he would start the short naps in my arms thing again.

Pooks that sounds unbearable!!! I'm starting to think we're ok