[TherophosaBlondi]

If you discovered your spouse cheating? Not just a suspicion but undeniable proof?

A friend of mine has discovered her DH has been in a long term relationship with his SIL(brothers wife) and she found out by walking in on them after pulling a surprise "sickie" so she could spend the day with her DH on his RDO. Apparently the kitchen table was involved....

After kicking him out she cancelled his CC, his phone and let down the tyres on his work truck. She also called family and told them what she walked in on. She and her BIL are obviously devastated and his family have all but disowned him apparently.

No one knew so no one could tell her and all we can do is comfort her and listen to her crying and plans for a very acrimonious divorce. There is no hope for reconciliation.

During the last few weeks she has been asking us for suggestions(which we have really tried to deflate IYKWIM) on how to really humiliate him and it got me thinking about what I would do should I ever be in that situation. I've come up with pretty much the same as she did with the added things of cutting the arms off shirts and keying the car etc.

So what would you do if you discovered undeniable proof?

[her mum]

I think she's done enough.

Not to say that he doesn't deserve whatever he has coming to him, but the best revenge really would be for her to move on with her dignity intact and enjoy life.

Petty cutting arms off shirts type acts are really just that, petty.

[Tesseract]

However much I would probably be tempted to do stuff to him, I probably wouldn't do anything. Not because I'm a wuss, but because we have a child. Whatever he does to me, we will always be co-parents, and I would want to keep that relationship as amicable as possible (and separate from our romantic breakdown).

[AllyK81]

I would do none of this. It doesn't achieve anything.

When my ex cheated on me, I left him. Simple.

If people asked why we broke up, I told them. I think being branded a cheater and having your partner leave you is plenty humiliating. Childish pranks don't get anyone anywhere.

The best revenge is moving on and having a happy life.

[SarahM72]

Errr, I don't think you should be telling anyone to key anyone's car or wreck their property!! Do you want your friend to end up with a criminal record?! Just because she is upset is no reason to wreck someone's property! I hope you were joking. Plus if they ever end up in court over any aspect of the separation/divorce, this will not be a good look for her!

I think she should stay calm and do nothing illegal!

This post has been edited by SarahM72: 05/02/2013, 02:12 PM

[gettheetoanunner...]

Man - I think i would be too shattered to be vicious.
The sorrow of it would overwhem me more than the anger.

I think.

That said, I think feeling angry is totally appropriate in this scenario, along with feeling betrayed, etc.

The retributions for infidelity that i remember reading about go along the lines of the old prawn heads in the curtain rods, STD clinic brochure mail outs, and the transvestite escort turning up to the fellows workplace.

Hope she gets past this stage soon, BW - I think you are being a really good friend by encouraging her to get past the revenge phase.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Because of the children, I'd have to be all 'mature' and adult-like and not seek revenge.

I'd probably act like I didn't care, like he did me a favour. Or say "oh phew, now I don't feel too bad I've been f**king your boss for the past five years".

What a low-life though. Cheating on not just his wife but brother too. Shameful betrayal. If they have any decency being publicly 'outed' should be punishment enough.

[Especially*K*]

Errr....I wouldnt do a lot of those things. I probably wouldnt hide my feelings or pussy foot around what happened if his family asked about the situation, but i wouldnt actively call them with the details.

Keying the car...? Nooooo.... so so childish!!

[NSG]

I think she's done enough.

Not to say that he doesn't deserve whatever he has coming to him, but the best revenge really would be for her to move on with her dignity intact and enjoy life.

Petty cutting arms off shirts type acts are really just that, petty.

+ 1.

[Missy Shelby]

I suppose it is really hard for us to comment until we are in that exact situation.

I suppose it is easy to say, lead a happy life that is best revenge but we are dealing with very raw and intense human emotions when it comes to matters like this.

I know that I would go nuts if I found this out as I trust my DH so much that I would feel betrayed and feel as though my whole life has been a lie.

I am sorry that your friend is going through this OP, it is such a crap situation to be in. I think just try and be there as much as you can for her (which I am sure you are) and maybe you just try and be the voice of reason until she calms down and can think and focus properly.