[cojack]

Hi

My DS 7 is in year 2 and had his parent information night last night. One of the teachers was quite direct at us parents saying that we should not be carrying our kids bags and helping put lunches away etc. Also she said with homework we need to tell them its not good enough if they are not up too the standard they should be? Also she commented on using the drop off section instead of bringing them to the classroom. Some of the mums were quite taken back and didn't like how she was coming across. I'm in two minds What do you think?

[EssentialBludger]

I think it's fine. Our school says the same.

I definitely tell DD when her homework is not upto standard, if I know she can do better. She has real lazy handwriting sometimes when she can't be bothered. I make her rub it out and do it again. I must be mean.

She is also capable of carrying her own bag and putting her own stuff away, no need for me to do that.

Dropping them off. I do half and half. If she really wants me to walk her to her class I will, otherwise it's kiss and drive.

They should be having a little independence at this age.

[Kay1]

We had a teacher like this last year, in Year 1. I think its fair enough. I think lots of parents (myself included) tend to baby their kids especially if they are the oldest. They are old enough by Year 2 to be a bit more independent. I am working on stepping back a bit.

I don't walk my son in anymore but that's because I have a baby and preschooler in the car. He doesn't need me though, he's perfectly capable of getting himself sorted in the mornings. In the afternoons he now carries his own bag - in Kindy and first half of Year 1 I carried it for him. Then I had a baby. He just naturally started doing it himself.

Homework. Well our school doesn't really do homework but if he does I usually just ask "Is that your best work?" and if he says yes then fine he takes it in.

[~sydblue~]

I can only imagine what this teacher thinks of parents like me whose kids catch the bus to school.

[ILBB]

I do drop and runs of my second grader now and dont take lunch boxes etc in. However I would never tell my child that their work is not up to standard. I would however comment on the level of effort they are putting in and I consider that far more important. If it is not "up to standard" then the teacher and I need to sit down and have a chat and implement a plan. The teacher needs to be actively involved in bringing this to my attention though as I am not in the class everyday.

[vitaechel]

I think there are nice ways of saying "try harder" with homework. I would tell my kids that perhaps they need to do a bit more work before handing it in if I knew they had not tried very hard.

I doubt most kids need help with bags or lunch after Prep. I certainly didn't.

[livvie7586]

OP, i hate to think what those mothers would think of the schools my kids go to. DD, in preschool, is expected to carry her own bag, put her lunchbox/water bottle/fruit in the appropriate boxes, and then hang her bag on her hook, and with DS (different school) i was only welcome in the kindy room for drop off on his first day last year, otherwise they were expected to do everything for themselves (they line up outside the school for assembly of a morning, then are taken in to their classrooms by their teacher).

As for homework, i may tell DS it isn't up to scratch, but it is up to him whether or not to fix it. if he then chooses to take said work in to school, it is on his shoulders and he can deal with the consequences, so if a child was consistantly taking in work that wasn't right, i would expect the teacher to pull them up on it (and maybe have a quiet word to mum/dad)

[Julie3Girls]

One of the teachers was quite direct at us parents saying that we should not be carrying our kids bags and helping put lunches away etc.
....
Also she commented on using the drop off section instead of bringing them to the classroom.

I think this is perfectly reasonable. At our school, the kids are all in the top quad before the bell goes. When the bell goes, the upper primary kids (yr3-6) go to their classrooms and line up at the door.
The younger kids line up in the quad and the teacher walks them down.
In the afternoon, parents wait at the quad, the kids walk up with their teacher.

No parents in the classroom.
No parents getting out lunches, changing readers etc.

And this starts from day2 of kinder. The kinders have their yr 5 and 6 buddiies to walk them to class for the first 2 weeks, and help them with their bags (and again in the afternoon).
After that, they are expected to do it themselves - put their hat away, get out their homework, home reader, any other notes etc, sort out their own lunch.

And you know what ? They do it. The teacher is there for the occasional child who needs help, but the kids ARE capable of doing it on their own, and usually quicker than having parents all milling around the classroom.

Also she said with homework we need to tell them its not good enough if they are not up too the standard they should be?

This depends.
If it is a case of the child not knowing the work, not knowing how to do the homework, then that is an issue I would take up with the teacher. Homework should not be new work, it should be revision, reenforcement, practice.

If it's a case of the child rushing through the homework, making silly mistakes and the writing being incredibly messy (compared to their normal work), then yes, as a parent I have no hesitation in telling my girls that it isn't acceptable. And yes, I have made my girls take a piece of blank paper and rewrite their spelling words, or the story they had to write. I would then send in both versions with a note that DD needed to redo it to put in some more effort.

[Chelli]

I'm all for independence and encourage my children to be so. However, I'm not a fan of being dictated to by a teacher or school, so I only selectively do as I'm told We were once told we were not to come inside the school to pick the kids up and I rebelled. To me, a parent is a vital part of a child's education process and the more connected a parent feels with a school, the more likely a child will be happy to be there.

[jenbi]

My son started Yr 3 this year.

I agree with the teachers - it's fine to expect Yr 2 kids to be able to function independently - it's good time to start this process at the beginning of the year too so they know what to expect. Most kids start to want this independence this year anyway - and by Yr 3 there are higher expectations again!

We had a lot of mums have the same reaction at our school last year but by the end all agreed it was for the best and in fact most kids loved being more responsible for themselves and their belongings.

As for the homework I think there are better ways to encourage your child to do their best work - not by degrading them though!! You - and your child - will know if they have tried hard or not and can then act accordingly.