[Montro]

According to my friend, it is, which makes me a cruel mother because my children do wear 2nd hand clothing. Yes, 'cruel' is the word she used.

It's a rare day that none of my children, or myself, are not wearing something 2nd hand. I uy brands such as Target, Nike, Country Road, Jag, Pumpkin Patch, Abercrombie & Fitch, Calvin Klein, Burberry. If it's clean, in good condition, fits my children, good quality, I buy it. My children grow like weeds and I simply can't afford to get them brand new clothes all the time. They are always well groomed and, as far as I'm concerned, well dressed.

Her comment really bugged me and frankly, upset me. She *was* being difficult yesterday.

Does anyone share her view? I ended up with a headache last night thinking (overthinking?) about what she said.

Funny (perhaps not the right word) thing is, I dropped by her house yesterday to give her one of those ab-circle pro machines which I bought 2nd hand at a garage sale, so she got it 3rd hand. She doesn't know it wasn't new when I got it!

I should add that my children are fine with wearing 2nd hand clothes. I've asked them!

This post has been edited by Montro: 16/02/2013, 05:45 AM

[futureself]

Of course she's not right - 'cruel', honestly how ridiculous.

[SummerStar]

No way.
My youngest has more clothes than any of us because of second hand clothes given to us by a friend who bought good quality clothing and everything was as new.
I also bought her some things and most of them were hardly worn and expensive. I'm counting on someone else using them because they're so gorgeous and in such good condition.
I wouldn't use anything with heaps of wear, holes, dirty etc but second hand I have no problem with.
Also no one really asks about it either so no one realises they're second hand anyway.

[~sydblue~]

She is being a nutcase.
Of course you are not cruel.

[SplashingRainbow...]

No it's definitely not cruel, it's actually kind.

It helps your children learn some very valuable life lessons including:
- money doesn't grow on trees
- in life you need to spend more than you make
- your worth as a person isn't correlated to how much "stuff" you have
- it's good for all of us, and the environment, to re-use and recycle.

I feel sad for your friend that she's trapped by the marketing lies that require have "stuff" - new stuff - to feel good about herself.

[somila]

Don't overthink it. Secondhand clothes are great. It's poverty (and the stigma, abuse and neglect that are sometimes associated with it) that can be cruel, I think she's confusing the two.

[strawberrypie7]

Standard practice here (very rare my DD is not wearing at least 1 hand me down item) and I would never consider myself cruel for it. The clothes are gorgeous, in great condition and it would be a crying shame to ditch them simply because they are second hand.

[MissingInAction]

It's more cruel to let your kids grow up thinking that money grows on trees and that they can have whatever they want when they want it and then send them into the world only to have them bitterly disappointed.

[Juki]

I don't have a problem dressing my son in second hand clothes as long as they are in decent condition and are comfortable.

I would like to say that when I was a kid, we basically lived in hand-me-downs and there were times when I resented it because they weren't in good condition sometimes and I didn't like the other people's style (read this as I felt like a dork). But you know what, I got a job as soon as I could so that I could buy things that I like.

All I can think is maybe your friend had an experience like mine?

[mycrazylife]

I must be cruel then, my girls lives in hand me downs. my boy is the only one who gets clothes bought in the shops and that is because their is no one to get them from. all his clothes get handed down to other people though.
dd1 loves getting clothes from other people and remembers who gave her what