[TopsyTurvy]

Seeing the 1st Birthday vs 40th Birthday thread I thought I would ask WWYD?

Dad's long term partner is turning 50, the same week DH's mum and Dad celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

Both have opted for the same Saturday to celebrate.

Obviously I can't go to both (1.5 hours drive apart)
DH has chosen to bury his head in the sand and not think about it, but the only solution I can see is DH goes to his parents party, and I go to Dad's partners party.

I am going to be terribly disappointed not to go to DH's parents, but I did warn them that the 50th Birthday party was scheduled early on that date, but DH's mum claims she forgot (which is entirely possible as she is a little on the air headed side ) and just planned it for that night because its the actual night of their anniversary.

Any other solutions anyone can think of?

[fairyflossfart]

I would prefer to go to the 50th wedding anniversary. It is something that is not achieved very often.

[kpingitquiet]

I would send a lovely gift to dad's partner and arrange to take them to lunch sometime soon, then I would go to the anniversary. 50 years married, to me, is a heck of a lot bigger accomplishment than 50 years breathing

[JRA]

One question is how long a long term partner? Was she there when your husband was growing up. Or is it only since he has grown up?

If you don't have your DH going to his step mum, and you to your parents, I would definitely do the 50 wedding anniversary.

[kpingitquiet]

JRA: I read it the other way around. Anniversary is her husband's parents. Birthday is her (essentially) step-parent.

[Julie3Girls]

It would depend on the type of celebration.

Lots of different scenarios, and a lot depends on your relationship with them all, and the type of party, how hurt would they be if you didn't come, how laid back are they for doing something on a different day. I admit, I would be leaning to the anniversary

If the 50th birthday is a party with lots of her friends, and the wedding anniversary is a lot of family, I'd go to the anniversary, and then visit your family the next afternoon for a small family birthday celebration. Or even turn up in

Is the birthday party on the actual day? If not, I'd try and visit the birthday girl on her actual birthday and go to the anniversary party.

Maybe visit the birthday girl in the morning/have lunch, help set up, then great big hug, " wish we could stay for the party have a great time" and head to the other one.

Otherwise, you really are down to one at each party. What lousy timing!!

This post has been edited by Julie3Girls: 22/02/2013, 07:22 AM

[baddmammajamma]

Zero contest with this one as well.

As my countrywoman so eloquently put it, "50 years married, to me, is a heck of a lot bigger accomplishment than 50 years breathing."

Besides, with so many people making a big hoopla out of 40th birthdays and 60th birthdays, there will likely be another opportunity to party hard with your dad's partner. I would do something very lovely with her around the date of her big birthday but plan on being at my inlaws' anniversary celebration (unless, of course, you are estranged from your inlaws!)

Sorry about the timing!

This post has been edited by baddmammajamma: 22/02/2013, 07:23 AM

[countrymel]

I'd go to the anniversary.

Your Dad's partner will have all her friends around her to celebrate, and you can have a catch up later or earlier in the week to let her know she is special.

A 50th Wedding Anniversary is a big deal, and I would imagine your PILs will be wanting to have all their family around - it is the celebration of the start of that family after all!

You don't want to be the missing head in the family photos!

As keepingitquiet said:

50 years married, to me, is a heck of a lot bigger accomplishment than 50 years breathing

[TopsyTurvy]

I know it totally sucks with the timing!

Dad and his girlfriend have been together for about 17 years now.

She has been planning her birthday for months and we have family flying from interstate to attend. Hers is being paid for and catered at a local restaurant and I had actually RSVP'd we were going when DH's mum sprung the anniversary party on us.
They are having a much lower key affair with a few close friends and immediate family at the clubhouse of the retirement village they live in.

Arggghh its such a frustrating dilemma, I do absolutely acknowledge that the 50th anniversary trumps a birthday, but I know Dad's girlfriend will be upset if at least I don't go as we are pretty close.

[fairyflossfart]

I would do the one of you go to each event thing.

Someone elses wedding anniversary means nothing to me though so I'd see it as getting out of a boring, nothing event. Birthdays should always be celebrated, you never know when it will be your last.

So her DH's parents and the day they got married and started their family, means nothing.