[kreme]

On Thursday night my 6yo DD wasn't feeling well. She had a temperature and agreed to go to bed early, so I knew she was really feeling unwell. She seemed ok on Friday morning so I sent her to school but she went to sick bay during recess and they called me to collect her, which was fine. In the meantime my mum had arrived to visit for the weekend so she spent Friday afternoon playing games with grandma and having a lovely time.

I already had a gp appointment for her Friday afternoon so I took her to that. She is having some issues with constipation but it's not severe, her tummy was soft etc. She did a poo Friday night so I figure we are all fine.

She was fine all weekend, went to swimming lessons etc.

This morning my 5 yr old DS complains of feeling sick. He was warm and looked pale. As he is in FYOS and quite shy I was concerned that he wouldn't tell anyone if he felt sick at school so I kept him home. As soon as I decided this DD piped up and said she had a sore tummy (had already eaten breakfast, was playing etc)

I took her to school and read her the riot act. Specifically forbade her from going to sick bay unless she was really ill. At 11am I got the call to say she is in sick bay for the second time today.

She is home now and in her bedroom for the rest of the day. No tv, iPad etc. She can read or play with toys in her bedroom but not to come out except for the toilet. No dessert tonight.

I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with her. Am I being too harsh?

[~*MESS*~]

No I don't think so.

My son pulled something like that on me one day and he asked me to tell him when it was a certain time. When I asked him why he told me some show was on!

He had to be on his bed all day with no TV or DS until 3pm. He never pulled that on me again!

That said, for your DD, there may be more going on? Maybe ask her teacher if there's anything happening


This post has been edited by ~*MESS*~: 25/02/2013, 01:06 PM

[JuliaD]

I think thats fair.
If she is too sick to be at school then she should be in bed (or at least on the couch) resting, not playing. And if she has a sore tummy for real, she probably wouldn't be interested in dessert anyway.
Not sure about being confined to her room for the whole day, but probably should definitely be for at least a couple of hours.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

I think you're being a bit harsh.

You know what it's like when you're sick. You do 'perk' up once the pressure of work/chores is off the table. You don't have to be falling down unconscious to have a sick day, nor do you have to stay all day in bed.

No dessert? I don't get that. So she's being punished for being sick?

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

No I don't think so.

My son pulled something like that on me one day and he asked me to tell him when it was a certain time. When I asked him why he told me some show was on!

He had to be on his bed all day with no TV or DS until 3pm. He never pulled that on me again!

Do you watch TV when you're sick?

Poor kids. I don't get why they have to stay in bed all day? I can't remember the last time I was sick that required staying in bed but I do recall feeling sick enough that I didn't want to go out and about.

[kreme]

I think you're being a bit harsh.

You know what it's like when you're sick. You do 'perk' up once the pressure of work/chores is off the table. You don't have to be falling down unconscious to have a sick day, nor do you have to stay all day in bed.

No dessert? I don't get that. So she's being punished for being sick?

She doesn't have to stay in bed but in her room. She has books, toys, drawing stuff in there. I want it to be boring for her so that staying home isn't more exciting than being at school.

I said no dessert because she is complaining of a sore tummy. If I believed she had a sore tummy I wouldn't let her have dessert so it feels logical to me. I will probably offer her fruit because she needs it for the constipation.

Usually I would have caved by now and let her watch tv but I really feel she is making it up. If she's not then the quiet time and no dessert will be good for her anyway.

But yeah maybe the whole day is too long, I will let her come out of her room at 3pm when school finishes. Thanks

[Shellby]

If she is faking a sickie then I think what you have done is fair. Most parents can tell when their child is really sick and when they are putting it on.

Last year on my days off DS would say he was sick around 11am with tummy pains and the school would call. Of course when I picked him up he looked fine to me, and sure enough was happily eating etc within an hour of being home. He only did it on my days off when he knew I would be home - well finally I put my foot down after 3 times in 3 weeks - when the school called, I said tell him he is staying and I'm not coming to pick him up. Guess what - never happened again.

In saying that, one look at him on Friday and I told him he was staying home even though he would have dragged himself to school as I knew he was unwell just from how he acted, didn't eat and was sick. So I'm not to harsh, but I won't take for faking sickness to stay home.

[soontobegran]

OP, I think it's reasonable to say that school is where she should be if she is well but if she is too sick for school then the best treatment is to come home to bed for a sleep.
If she chooses this behaviour often enough I would try and establish if there is something going on at school that is making her prefer home?

Do you watch TV when you're sick?

Poor kids. I don't get why they have to stay in bed all day? I can't remember the last time I was sick that required staying in bed but I do recall feeling sick enough that I didn't want to go out and about.

I think it is a perfectly acceptable way to find out whether the child is really ill or in fact there is another issue at school which needs sorting out.
It's not like they are being chained to the clothes line and fed dry bread a water.

Just a reminder MP most mums are not cruel to their children and are well able to establish what is a suitable response to a behaviour even if it isn't the one that we may subscribe to ourselves.

[librablonde]

Only last week my 6yo DS had me called from school b/c he had tummy pains. When I got here and saw him with his morning tea still around his mouth I questioned him and it turned out he had been flustered by some journal writing that morning in class. He still maintained he as sick until I told him that if he was really sick he needed to rest his body if I took him home and go to bed for most of the day. He then decided he felt much better and was full of beans when he got home from school that day I had a quiet word with his teacher about his probable stress over the journal writing and that was that.

I think the OP was perfectly reasonable in how she handled her DD.

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Just a reminder MP most mums are not cruel to their children and are well able to establish what is a suitable response to a behaviour even if it isn't the one that we may subscribe to ourselves.

The OP asked for opinions. Am I meant to adjust my opinion to suit EB, or give MY opinion?