[amabanana]

DH is going OS on a business trip at the end of the month (over Easter too ). DD5 is really upset and he hasn't even gone yet! This is the first time the kids will have been without DH for more than a couple of nights. So, for all the pros out there, how do you prepare the kids for their parent going away and how do you make things easier when your partner is away?
Thanks for your suggestions!

This post has been edited by amabanana: 28/02/2013, 07:23 PM

[Bacongirl]

Mine has always travelled, so the kids have grown up knowing that Daddy went away, then came back. Mine's off to Hong Kong twice next mth for a week each time.

Skype and Facetime are good things for the kids now as they can still see and talk to Daddy and tell him about their day.

Maybe Daddy can ensure he gets something special for the kids if they are good? Even if its something kitchy from the airport.


As to things being easier when partner is away. I love it when he's gone! Easy dinner for the kids. I often just have eggs on toast or something simple. Everything is done and put away by 7pm so kids and I got more snuggle time before bed when they were younger. I got to watch all the stupid girly shows I wanted and the remote was ALL MINE

Keep to a routine. Explain that as Daddy is away, DD needs to 'take his place' and help Mummy as much as she can. Give your DD some extra responsibility. Take the garbage bag out to the bin, or help set/clear the table. Even load/unload the plastics from the dishwasher.

[*LucyE*]

Hmm, DH just tells the kids he will be gone for x number of nights when he says good bye. He tries not to rush the goodbye but we also don't make a big deal out of it. We don't discuss it endlessly before he goes because it doesn't seem to assist our children with it.

We focus on when daddy will be home. We have done the calender crossing out thing and DS is old enough to work it out himself. DS2 is too young to grasp the concept of time so we don't dwell on that, it would just be a 'daddy's home on wed' sort of thing.

I have found where possible, breaking them from the home routine to help with missing DH. Now that the older two are in school, we only go away during school holidays. Last time DH was o/s, we went to visit my parents and I filled many of the days with activities so they were too busy to miss him.

ATM he is away 4 days per week. I find a tight routine helps me get everything done but having it different from their normal routine helps them somewhat eg. We eat dinner at 4:30/5pm when DH isn't home. I read to DD and spend time talking to DS in bed. I keep DS2 awake over his afternoon nap so he will sleep earlier. That gives me time to spend one on one with the other two. It means he wakes earlier which is a pain but such is life. Basically, we just get on with it.

I prefer them to FaceTime or talk on the phone earlier in the day rather than later. Bedtime calls are hard because they have the goodbye emotions just before sleep which seems to work up my kids.

I also find the reintegration to be hard on DH. We are in our groove and he comes home wanting to pick up where he left off but everyone is at a different place. Coming home from a long haul flight is hard. Usually DH is exhausted and needs rest to combat jetlag but the kids are all over him like a rash. These days, DH prepares himself for the initial greeting, then we allow him time to rest (I take the kids away). Then the kids are like Velcro on him and we plan family activities. We've learned that he can't back up from a trip and flight and be ready to go straight back to work. It comes at the expense of either his health or the kids.

[pium]

When I was a child both my parents would go away for long periods of time (my dad for up to 3 months at a time & my mother up to 1 month). They used to leave activities for us - for example once when my mother went away she left me a treasure hunt - a series of puzzles to solve and at the end would be a little present, like some colouring things or a new book or a craft project. It was great fun and made you feel as though they were thinking about you even though they weren't there.


For me now, DH is away 5 nights out of 7 and the nights he is home he usually gets back after DS has gone to sleep. DS is almost 4 - he calls DH on the phone when he goes to bed to say goodnight, and we talk about what DH is doing during the day. When DH does stay overnight he spends the morning with DS, so they have one on one time and I get a break.

[Akatara]

We FaceTime.

We also look at you tube videos of places he is going, and of planes and the inside of planes!

My girls love planes and airports. (Dh travels a lot, he's on a plane right now)

Oh and he often brings home chocolate.

[amabanana]

Thanks.

I think we are going to wag school on the last day before holidays so we can take him to the airport - my girls love planes so want to plane watch and DD is only doing the morning anyway so only missing 3hrs of school. Then it will be school holidays so I think a road trip is what we'll do for the first 5 days or so! Then my parents are going to come and stay for the second week - lucky me! (No sarcasm there. Promise. )
Good idea to do Facetime in the morning rather than bedtime. Due to the time difference it will also be easier for DH as kid bedtime will be in the middle of his working day.

DD is happier about DH going away now she knows she'll be getting an ipad when he gets back.

It will also be our wedding anniversary while DH is away so I wonder what he'll bring me?

[mad madam mim]

We just told them he was going away for work and while he was away he called them every night to say goodnight, DD got upset and really missed DH this last time, a week on and she still worries that he isn't going to come home from work, am hoping she will settle down soon

[amabanana]

We just told them he was going away for work and while he was away he called them every night to say goodnight, DD got upset and really missed DH this last time, a week on and she still worries that he isn't going to come home from work, am hoping she will settle down soon

That's why I'm trying to prepare as much as possible. DD1 in particular is very sensitive and misses DH terribly even if he's gone for one night. DD1 has a psych appointment in the middle of DH being away so that worked out well! I think the key will be to keep busy, wear them out and reassure them that Dad is coming back. I'm a bit nervous but trying to hide it well.

[Accidental]

My DH is away regularly. Here's how we do it: http://the-accidental-housewife.blogspot.c...s-away.html?m=0

[*LucyE*]

The other thing we found was the younger children don't have the skills/patience for a long phone call. They would often talk over the top of each other or be so enthusiastic about sharing their day, DH wouldn't have a chance to tell them about what he was doing.

DH now videos himself with a little spiel about where he is and what he's doing. He emails that to us daily so the kids can then watch it again, and again, and again. It is handy when they were missing daddy during the day, they could just watch his videos and over the course of the trip, they can see that it is fewer and fewer days til he is home again (DH would always say good bye with a 'see you in x number of sleeps').