[Guest_LeChatNinjah_*]

I'm so saddened, and a bit surprised.

DD's best friend's parents are divorced and have been for a few years now. She's stayed over at the mum's place for sleepovers many times, and best friend has stayed at ours many times.

I was chatting to the dad at a birthday party recently and he said that BF would love to have DD over for a sleepover at his one night, and would that be ok. I said that it would be fine, but then we both got busy with stuff and it didn't happen.

He texted me the other day inviting DD this weekend, and ended it all apologetically with things like "I understand if you aren't comfortable with it, you haven't seen the house" etc. That never crossed my mind!

My DP divorced with 2 early teen DD's and had a similar thing - he had to go out of his way (or felt he had to) to explain to sleepover friend parents that he was a single dad and ask if they had any objection. I don't think any did, but he was clearly told (directly or by implication) by other parents at the school that he really should make that part clear.

This makes me so sad! It's like the stigma against male teachers, male childcare workers etc. These dads feel obligated to apologise for being male because society assumes they must be some sort of paedophiles.

Would you give a 2nd thought to a sleepover invitation if it was with a single dad instead of a single mum? Let's assume for argument's sake that you've known the kid in question for a few years and had heaps of school / social activity interaction with both parents.

[SCARFACE CLAW]

I'd only expect to know the dad as well as any mums for a sleepover. I don't think I'd be uncomfortable unless the dad in question gave me a bad feeling or anything, but that goes for any parent, male or female. How sad

[mumto3princesses]

I would give it no more thought than if the friend wanted a sleepover and had a single mum or a mum and a dad.

DD#1 has had a sleepover at a friends house before. The mum was away visiting relatives overseas and it was just the dad. No problem with it at all and more improtantly DD#1 had no problem with it.

[RealityBites]

No problem with it at all.

[Funwith3]

It's like the stigma against male teachers, male childcare workers etc. These dads feel obligated to apologise for being male because society assumes they must be some sort of paedophiles.

Would you give a 2nd thought to a sleepover invitation if it was with a single dad instead of a single mum? Let's assume for argument's sake that you've known the kid in question for a few years and had heaps of school / social activity interaction with both parents.

Is there a stigma against male teachers? I didn't think there was...my DD has had male teachers for two out of her three years of school so far. She actually WANTED the male teachers in both years. I never gave it a second thought.

DD also has a friend with divorced parents. The little girls father has majority custody (for reasons I'm not sure about). DD has slept there many times, and has been to the swimming pool with this friend and her father. The father is a very hands-on dad. I've never worried about it. However, my own parents (now in their 60's) have mentioned several times - "don't you worry about DD going over there, what if the father DID something!!?" It's sad.

[LifesGood]

To be honest I'm more concerned with my children being old enough to know the difference between acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour (theirs and others) and to be mature enough and strong enough to stand up for themselves if they are compromised in any way, than I am with letting them have a sleepover at the home of a friend and their single male parent (assuming I know the family quite well already).

I suspect my age limit on sleepovers is probably a fair bit higher than the average, so no I wouldn't have a problem with it.

[FluffyOscar]

Of course I'd think twice about my DD having a sleepover at the house of a single dad. How ridiculous.

Don't blame me for feeling that way, blame the men who abuse children and cast doubt on those that never would.

[Frockme]

Would you give a 2nd thought to a sleepover invitation if it was with a single dad instead of a single mum? Let's assume for argument's sake that you've known the kid in question for a few years and had heaps of school / social activity interaction with both parents.

If I'd known them for years and was comfortable with them, then i would give it a second thought, and id probably let them go. If they were someone I'd just met then yes I would give anyone (male or female) a second, third and fourth thought!

I wouldn't be at all surprised at someone ummming and ahhhing over their child sleeping over at a mans house. Your level of acceptance is personal. So is theirs.

The horrid fact of the matter is pedophiles live in the burbs with you and me. Not down dingy lane ways where we would never stray. And the fact the vast majority are men. You can't tell who is one by looking at them, and you never can know someone well enough IMO. So, to be human and normal about it without being neurotic, you have to rely on your instincts and go with your gut. if someone is uncomfortable about it then so be it. They have their reasons. It may have more to do with them than the fellow.

I remember the pressure from the kids in early primary, (like kindly and y1 ) constantly asking for sleepovers. I was so uncomfortable with it, I think they're too young.and we knew no one that well from school. With my next schoolie it'll be a flat out NO. I remember some parents said "were not doing sleep overs this year" and that was that. No argument. I ll be that parent.

[soontobegran]

I would not have a single problem with it providing I knew the family to some extent and that the home was a safe environment. It would be the same for a single mum or a couple.

It is sad that he feels his credibility would probably be questioned by some. He sounds like a really caring person.

[TBen]

Of course I'd think twice about my DD having a sleepover at the house of a single dad. How ridiculous.

Don't blame me for feeling that way, blame the men who abuse children and cast doubt on those that never would.

You know there's equal chance of a man with a partner abusing a child right?