[Topaz]

This is a great thread.

Why was 6 sad
Because 7 8 9

Why did the chicken cross the road
To see his flatmates

[JED's_dad]

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
It wanted to get to the bottom.

Why did everybody leave Hungry Jacks?
Because someone dropped a whopper.

[cheryl36]

What's yellow and smells like bananas?
Monkey spew.

How do you catch a unique animal?
Unique up on it.

[ShinySpecialOne]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

[Mummy to HJ]

OMG, these are soo lame they're funny

Whats big, red and eats rocks?
A big red rock eater

What time should you go to the dentist?
At tooth hurty (2:30)

What do u call a deer with no eyes?
No Idea (Eye Deer)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls?
Still no f**king idea

I got a heap, but i cant remember! LOL

Be bak when I can think of more

[Gemstone]

I was just thinking of posting the deer with no legs one!

I love the fish in the tank!

[Shainala]

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? A grape's purple.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing, he thought they were grapes he didn't recognise them with sunglasses on.

What did Tarzan do when he saw the elephants charging over the hill? He ran to the nearest tree, made a trunk call and reversed the charges.

What did Tarzan do when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Put up his umbrella.

Why did the mouse cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken.

What's green and turns red at the flick of a switch? Kermit in a blender.

How do you get him out? Through a straw.

Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can (was a bit ruder but cleaned it up)

Haves tons and tons more but can't remember them ATM!!!

[ShinySpecialOne]

What's red and shaped like a bucket?

A red bucket.


What's green and shaped like a bucket?

A red bucket in disguise.

[Chelli]

Once there was a little boy named Billy who was born with just a head. No arms, legs, body, only his head.

Every day his mother used to sit him on the windowsill to watch the children across the street play in the park. How he longed to be able to join them. Every night before bed he would wish upon falling stars to miraculously have a body when he woke up. Day after day, week after week, year after year Billy wished with all his might.

Then finally, one Spring morning, it had happened. Billy had grown a whole body. He was so exctied he jumped out of bed, found some clothes, got dressed, ate his breakfast, went out the door and................


































Was squashed by a bus on the road

Moral of the story?

Quit while you're ahead

[~mimo~]

How do you make a dog go "Meow"?
Pass it though a band-saw.

How do you make a cat go "Woof"?
Douse it in petrol and light a match.



Deer jokes for Gemstone;

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea. (no eye deer)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs having sex?
F*cking still no idea.



What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on your doorstep?
Matt.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a stage?
Mike.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs being cooked by a canibal?
Stu.