[tinyweehen]

DD is almost 11 months and for past month has started to have mini-tantrums if she doesn't get something she wants, or if I take something off her she shouldn't have, or put her in the pram when she doesn't want to be there.

So...what do you do? Naturally we are not about to give in to these, since it will get worse and worse, but do you:
a. ignore the behaviour and just keep putting in pram etc as if nothing was different
b. try to discipline/explain - say "No, don't make that sound" in firm voice or something...

I just don't see how much you can 'reason' with an 11 month old IYKWIM, but I want to nip this in the bud.

TWH

[SpunkyMonkey]

TWH DS is the same such a temper for a little man.

I've just being saying "stop, danger" for eg the oven or the bin. 8 out of 10 times he'll either try it again or drop to the floor and scream blue murder.

But mainly it's "Stop" i'm trying to get out of the No word cause DD#2 walks around saying no all the time lol.

I'll be intrested in what other methods are used. I agree 11mths it's hard to debate with them

[peanut1]

It's hard trying not to say "no" isn't it. I've been trying other things like "Please don't throw that" but nothing seems to work. I sometimes tell my friends I'm having a "no day, today".

When DD thows a mini tanty, I usually try to distract her with something that she can play with so divert her attention to a more suitable acitivity. If this doesn't work, I put her down somewhere safe, usually on the carpet in the middle of the room, where she arches her back and screams. I ignore her and then she normally calms down after about a minute or so.

[tinyweehen]

Thanks for your replies....

Yes, it's very hard to avoid the 'N' word!

I kind of go "Aaattt!!" in a stern voice, and she knows that one now, so I think I'll just keep saying pretty much anything and use tone of voice more to get the idea across.

She doesn't lie on the floor and scream or anything (yet) but I can see this could easily lead on to that

TWH

[pita]

Hi Tinyweehen

Just felt after peeoping in i had to reply. Nothing useful to tell you i'm afraid but will say i am going through the same thing with my 20 month old. who is in the everything is mine and has temper tantrums if i say no to something she wants. I like you will not give in as i don't want a spoilt child who can manipulate us but am also torn between disciplining or ignoring behavior. I suppose i swing between both of them depending on particular tantrum. Sorry i don't have a lot to add for you.

LOL Pita

[Feliss74]

When my DD decides to chuck a wobbly I find that distraction works best. I don't know how long this will last but so far it's working a treat. Another thing I do is when DD is whinging I look at her and screw up my face and say "Oh, what a horrible noise... or what a horrible face"... she usually stops after that!

I don't say NO but that's not because I'm against the use of the word, I just find a growl and AHHHHH works better.

I wondered why in your posts some of you seemed against using the word NO... thank you MyLittleMen it didn't even occur to me that I would get the 'NO' word thrown back at me later on!

[miaandme]

Hi there,

Its soo hard isn't it. My DD is 11 months nearly and has been having mini tanties for a few months now. I was told by a lady who has experience in the psychology field (not sure if I've got the field right, but something like that) that you need to do something until you get the right result, i.e.

if they have a tanty when you try to put them in the high chair, divert their attention, make a big song and dance and reward them when they do it by saying horray, good girl etc, however when you have been getting the desired result for a week approximately then you take away the diversion and the horrays. Apparently they "should" want to do the right thing themselves by then. I have tried this and it seems to be working.

With the pram. I think it is just the age. You have a walker which means she probably just wants to get around of her own steam. I don't think you can do much about it. Except, never force her. Then she will end up never wanting to go into the pram.....

I find for little things like when I tell her she can't have something just ignoring it works the best. I do say no or some form of it, as I think they need to learn their are Yes and No things. I don't do it all day, but there are certain things that are definately no and yes things. For the rest, I divert.

Pure attention seeking behaviour like throwing food off the highchair I have read is best dealt with ignoring it. By giving it attention you are just rewarding them..

Everyone says something different. Lately I have been focusing on all the great things she does and making a big deal of it, and I have found that she behaves so much more nicely, and I am trying to be relaxed about things.....

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer - just what feels right to you.....

Lots of Love
M and M

P.S. I read and responded to your post in Daycare section - how is she going now?

[tinyweehen]

With the pram. I think it is just the age. You have a walker which means she probably just wants to get around of her own steam. I don't think you can do much about it. Except, never force her. Then she will end up never wanting to go into the pram.....

Oohhhh, I'm bad! I thought she just had to get used to it and I put her in - now I feel terrible :unsure:

I figured there will be times we have to put her in the carseat etc and that the pram is sort of the same, and better she just accepts it. Now I'm all indecisive again...

[heidi62]

I think that the best method at this age is distraction. Honestly they are too young to comprehend at such a young age.

Although if they are in danger then I do not disagree with using the words "NO", "HOT" or "DANGER". Usually my little one just laughs and tries again, whereas if I distract her she forgets about it pretty quickly......

[miaandme]

Hi there,

Sorry to say the opposite of what you thought In my experience (very limited) I have found when I've forced her to do something, it usually makes her more resistant in the future - which makes sense to me. The car seat is different. For her own safety she needs to go in the seat....

That is my opinion only - there is no right or wrong. I have just learnt from experience. Bit of history. DD had reflux and would not drink milk - I'm talking at the three month mark she would drink like 200ml a day (very bad). Because I was sooo worried I would force her, i.e. when she was crying I would make her drink Anyway, moral of the story, when I stopped forcing her, she drank better.... I have found the same thing with the high chair. When I force her it just turns nasty and every time after that is a nightmare. Now I dont force her, make sure she is hungry, but not overhungry, and she goes in 99% of the time without a problem.

Sorry for confusing you...it is sooo confusing....

Lots of Love
M and M