[~Sweet~Like~Choc...]

Hi Ladies!

Welcome to our 2nd thread of Angel Chat. An informal support group for those of us who have lost our precious babies. Please feel free to pop in & post anytime.

Sonia

[sharuth]

First wow!

[Insane By Defaul...]

Well done Sonia - couldnt have said it better myself!

I love the dragonfly Sharon (One of my favourite insects but all spiders must die...MUST DIE).

This post has been edited by Marywin: 17/07/2006, 07:48 PM

[~Sweet~Like~Choc...]

Thanks Marywin *bowing*

Well my latest news is that I had a call from the Mater hospital offering us a "debriefing" meeting I guess you could call it. It has now been 3 months since Jackson passed away, and all she could say was sorry there's been a lot going on here, that's why we weren't offered any counselling.

I am not expecting any answers, but hopefully we can get some sense of closure.

Sonia

[sharuth]

Sonia that is horrible that they havent offered you any counselling!

*reading Mary's blog and the "GOD" installments*

[Insane By Defaul...]

Oh wow Sonia - thats really poor on their behalf. Sounds like they must be under staffed or havent got their procedures in place. And its the people that are suffering (like yourself) that are left hanging. Hopefully you'll have the closure you're looking for.

This post has been edited by Marywin: 17/07/2006, 08:18 PM

[kekaco]

Sonia.......shocking really isnt it. I too left the hospital with nothing. No contacts, no papers, nothing! I really felt dumped so to speak.
I had a baby, he died....oh well thats life.........NEXT. thats how I was made to feel.
I am sorry you were 'forgotten' as well

About 10 weeks after Caelum died the doctor discussed the autopsy report with us, but it didnt give me any answers that I wanted. I really did put too much onto it. I hope with your appointment you come away with some sort of satisfaction.


Feeling a bit weird....I think about my son everyday. Whether in detail or as a passing thought. However, these last few days with this thread and just reading everyone stories, it has made me feel rather sad to the point of dreaming about it.
Arhhhhh You know, replaying everything. Pictures, smells, colours, thoughts. Enough to send you bonkers LOL

Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing????
In the early days everyone said...
"your so strong" etc etc you know the comments. So when I start feeling like this I wonder if I have some sort of bottled up grief which is lying dormant waiting to 'attack' me. So I have to ask myself, do I continue with this sort of thing or not read and continue on but then thinking will 'it' come to get me later.
No answers required, just writing it down really.

Nothing is simple, even this far along.

[sharuth]

Welcome to everyone who has joined here too. I am sorry that you ahve to join us but I do hopw that we will be able to help each other.

Belinda (bjc075) No it doesn’t make the loss any easier does it. But I think (at least for me) it lessened the blow a bit.

Kelly Where in Vic are you? I cant believe how many ppl have not told me they are pg or have left me till last when bubs has been born. I get more upset that they don’t tell me or leave me till last. Its more of slap in the face when ppl do that. I think ppl are scared that I am going to burst out in tears or be upset by it all. Like it will re-open a wound…..not that it has ever closed!!! Sorry a bit of a vent there.

Question - Who delivered your angel? It was a midwife. The only time I ever really had an OB there was for anything to do with administering drugs or to pop in and say hi.

sissy You are more than welcome to join us. I understand what you mean about the relationship and maybe not being able to go on with it. I have thought that many times with us. In fact if we hadn’t have gotten married before we found out about Jack then we may not have even gotten married. Eventually (I think) leading to the demise of our relationship (even though we had been together for 3yrs by that stage.) It seems like a hard thing to try and explain to anyone. And it all came out when we were talking about fate a bit before. I have never voiced those feelings before.

Trudi I was just reading through some of the hospitals that you have online in Victoria now. Im impressed (I havent been on the site for a while.) I would love to know how Sandy went with getting something on the charts in hospitals (stickers or something like that) of women who had lost a child at any stage. I havent asked her yet but there have been TONES of times that I wish someone knew without me having to explain it ALL over again!

SAM!!! LOL so good to see you here! Thank you. I cant wait for this bubs to come. We should be finding out the sex at our next scan. Really hoping for a boy as this is more than likely going to be our last. Of course it doesn’t matter as long as he/she is healthy though. All is looking good so far though.

Rachel Im glad you’re here as well. Sorta feel bad sometimes talking about our kids in the DIG…..its a reality (sadly) that not everyone wants to think exists (that’s what I find in other groups at times.)

Megan I am currently working on a scrapbook for Jack. But I will be doing it digitally so all the originals I will be photographing and doing it that way. Otherwise I have all the kids mementos in boxes with their names on them for when they want to look at them. And I look at Jacks from time to time. Although they are so well packed up in a cupboard that I haven’t done it for a while now.

bec8620 Numb? Yes. Like it wasn’t really happening to me. Then there were times when it hit me like a brick. When my SIL had her son who was due 3 months before Jack. You could have said anything and I would have done it. Im sure I looked like a zombie that day. I wished for so long that he wasn’t a boy as he is a constant reminder to me. Some days (even now) that is fine and then some days its hard to be around him. After that first baby being born no one else’s baby really affected me again like that. It was though like you say going shopping and seeing another pg lady that was very hard.

Mary I love the dragonfly as well. I think I have loved it even more since watching that Bruce Willis one that for the life of me I can NOT remember the name of.

kekaco Its shocking really how the hospitals can let you out with no information or support! I would love to be able to do something about it but at the moment I don’t have the strength to do it. I suppose its like what I was talking to Trudi about the stickers on charts for maternity wards etc.
I remember reading a thread posted at the top the Misc section. I think it might be entitled EB Angels…..its still there I think as a sticky. Anyhooo I read through that and cried at and through every story I read. And I read right through to the last page. Sometimes I feel like I just need to cry it all out. But it does make me realise that I still have some pretty raw feelings there. And that they do come and get me at times when I don’t think they would. And EB has been the best place for me in regards to my loss. I dont know what I would do without it and ppl like in this group!

This post has been edited by sharuth: 17/07/2006, 09:09 PM

[goody2shoes]

Thank you everyone for welcoming me into this group - this really means a lot.

Sorry guys, no personal replies at the moment. Between crying, answering phones and answering the door and ignoring both the phone and the door, today has been a bit of a bad dream.

Had a really bad day yesterday (hoping it is okay to vent a few negatives here) bad cramping, bad backache (leftovers from labour??). Was worried about the bleeding that was going on, worried that I had to call someone to take me to hospital and look after DS as I was on my own. Ended up having night sweats, really bad but real nightmares, ended up putting my DS into bed with me for some comfort.

Then this morning, went and dropped DS at his grandparents (I share him 50% with my XH). My Ex MIL wasn't very sympathetic towards me (she isn't mean, she is European and sometimes doesn't understand me) and basically I came home and bawled my eyes out. Total doom and gloom for the next few hours, thinking about not having total care of my DS, losing my baby girl and all the other negative things going on or that have happened to me in the past.

Lucky my Dad came over, and I hate crying in front of him because he worries about me (and really I am alright)so this put me in a better frame of mind. Also have negotiated to have more time with my DS during the next week while I am home from work.

Now just going over to a girlfriend's place to have a quiet cuppa with her. Then will come home and try and catch up on the few weeks of sleepless nights I have had.

Seeya
Sissy

[Insane By Defaul...]

Gently, gently Sissy. You're at the bottom of the barrel, so take your time with your grieving. Its okay to cry your heart out darling. I bawled constantly (still have random crying moments). I cried as soon as I got up, wept in the shower, absolutley howled while I was doing the housework, sobbed when I was cooking tea.......you get the piccy.

Have a nice hot bath with some soothing oils like lavender and just soak. Your heart is shattered, but it will heal.

Slowly slowly......gently gently.

Wish I was there, we'd sit in our pj's, I'd make you a nice hot chocolate drink and we'd dunk marshmellows (except I'd probably eat them all and then raid your cupboards).