[*Jewelz*]

Hello,

I guess I just need someone to talk to... we lost our 3rd bub this month and and although everyone was great, it seems that now time is passing everyone else is moving on and I feel like I'm expected to be ok already. I had a D&C two weeks ago today and it feels like yesterday. My hospital holds a memorial service for babies under 20 weeks once a month and the service is today at 2pm...

I'm not sure if I can cope with going today because it all feels just so fresh, but at the same time maybe it will help?

We have a beautiful boy, now 19mths and my husband has been able to move so quickly on because our precious son is right here and he never really had a chance to accept our pregnancy as being real. We found out I was pregnant just over 4 weeks but I started bleeding at 5 1/2 weeks, and the scan we had booked for 6 wks only confirmed our fears even though all the doctors said not to 'write it off yet'. I think it was then he just switched off. It wasn't quite that easy for me... m/s started the day after the bleeding and continued throughout the next 2 1/2 weeks while we went for BT's and finally another scan, and it wasn't till after the D&C that my pg symptoms disappeared. Now I am struggling with so many conflicting feelings and a need to grieve but feel trapped in this life right now that says I have to go back to normal...be a good wife, a good mum, a good DIL, a good sister, a good daughter - especially at christmas.

We had 2 m/c before our son and I am feeling the hurt and pain flood back as I try to cope with our new loss... I feel guilty about my grief at times because we have managed to finally have a baby but now there a new feelings I just don't know how to deal with...

I guess I just want to know I'm not alone...

Thankyou for listening to my heart.