[~A2~]

Hi all

I am just wondering if anyone would be interested in this sort of a group.

My idea for it would be it being for support of members who have been TTC'ing for a longish time (that time to be determined by members) regardless of the way they are TTC'ing (ie those using assisted conception etc) or the number (ie whether TTC for #1 or #5 etc).

I just feel it might be an idea to have a place for longer term members of this area to hang out and discuss the emotions, issues etc that you may be feeling that others are not (or are but not as strongly).

Anyway hope I have explained it properly but please let me know your thoughts as I know there are a few longer term members out there or some struggling with the emotions of it.

This is not meant to say TTC'ing generally is not tough I do not mean that just that as the journey lengthens issues/feelings may do the same.

Please post if you would be interested in such a group.

Regards

Ali

[Puddycat]

Hiya,

I think its a great idea. I still 'hang out' in the SMEP buddy group cause I love the gals there (even though I shouldn't be there as we have been diagnosed with MFI and have been undergoing IVF for the last 6 months).

The problem is, that most of the original group have graduated, but there are still a few of us 'long timers' in there. While new members are always welcome (so please come and join us), however as the SMEP seems to have quite a good success rate, often new members get a BFP on their first month. This is hard for the original members. (I'm one of them, so feel qualified to be able to say this)

I'm sure we are not the first buddy group to have this issue!!

However, I guess the same thing would happen if you started a 'long term' TTC buddy group though, as (hopefully) members would get a BFP. So its not a sure way of fixing this problem. I don't want to offend anyone, but it is hard when someone gets a BFP in the first month or two or even three or trying, especially when you have been trying for several years!

The hard thing would be defining what a 'long time' is. I'm sure there is lots of different opinions out there. My friend who was trying for "ages" and "knows how hard and stressful TTC it is" was telling me that after she "relaxed" it happened. And maybe I should "relax" as well. She fell pregnant in her third month of trying.

What I am trying to say is that time is relative. What seems like a long time for some people is noting in comparison to other people.

Anyway, after all that waffling, I guess I am trying to say that yes, its a great idea, and I would love to join!

Thanks

[kyles79]

Hi guys!

Puddycat forwarded this onto me, and I really like the idea too!:) hope we can start one:)

[GreenGrass]

I'm sort of in the same boat as Puddycat. Been hanging around SMEP thread as it is a fantastic thread, and all the ladies are lovely, although because of my stupid irregular cycles and DH working away and his work roster I don't get to follow the plan. We're also in the process of getting things sorted for the possibility to start assisted conception, which would rule me completely out of SMEP thread.

I guess one of the main reasons I"ve stuck with the SMEP thread is that there are some of us who have been together from just about the beginning (or close to it) of our journey's of TTC, or at least for nearly 2 years and are still there. We have stuck by each other and understand what each of us is going through, the emotions that highened with each cycle that pass and no bfp, then the disappointing, shocking and sometimes unexpected news of diagnoised fertility issues.

I also agree with puddycat in that it is going to be hard to determine what 'long term is', however, I personally think it isn't 3 or 6 months, perhaps not even 12 months, espically considering that medical professionals don't have alarm bells ring until after this point for a normal healthy couple.

Not sure what I've said is the right thing to say in here, but is my way of saying I love the idea and would be great to be in another group who can give the same support to each other as us 'long termers' in the SMEP thread have given each other.

[D-MEMBER]

my last post didnt save.. user error!

I think this is a great idea and fully support it.. the girls above have covered the key points

sometimes i feel really lost.. like i dont 'fit' anywhere so this would be lovely

[lou-jayne]

Ali,
What I think is really important within a new 'TTC for Longer BG' is the need for total support, empathy and hope for the future. Since I started TTC in Sept 2008 and I've gone through loss(es?) so I could qualify for other BGs, but haven't wanted to join some of them as they either provided intermittent support (e.g. there wasn't many posters posting regularly) or the feel of the group had become angry and negative (sorry if I have offended anyone). Don't get me wrong there are some days where I am sad and disillusioned, but I and with the support of the lovely SMEP ladies, pull myself into a positive state. I noticed that in the 'TTCOM BG' there is a message stating that this BG is a place, "where we always respect each others opinions". I think that type of message is really important as TTC for ages is hard enough without having to deal with negativity and any b!tchiness from fellow BG members. I think that the other posters have said this is important in their own way as they all said that the reason they stay in SMEP is because of the lovely support from the SMEP BG.
So, yes I'd love to join as long as the group stayed supportive and nice to fellow members. As for how long, it is really hard to put a time frame on it, but definitely over 12 months or perhaps 18 months as there is already a TTC for 12 months or longer group.
Thanks for raising the issue,
Lou

[~A2~]

Thanks girls.

I am not even sure I have described it correctly so long term part etc was just how I was trying to describe it. I guess it is for those who do not feel they fit in their current group as I have noticed a few members who may be have been posting in a certain group for a long time (as previous members here have mentioned) and may be feeling like they don't fit or are the only ones left sort of thing.

I am not saying you have to move from current groups or anything like that just to give members a place to chat about issues not affect newer members to the TTC journey yet.

You all seem to be on the right track as to what I was meaning though.

How about we keep this thread going and you all chat (and please if anyone is reading and feels this is for them post and say hi) and we can take things as they come so post and say hi and mention your situations as I don't want members to be put off by the time frame side of it if the feelings and emotions are happening iykwim.

Thanks girls for posting and I truly hope the start of a new thread is also an omen for some BFP's for you all as well.

Ali

[Puddycat]

Surely we four aren't the only ones that have been TTC for a long time? What about those in the TTC ongoing thread? I think there are a few in there who are struggling?


Please......to anyone else out there reading this........dont let the fact that the above 4 replies seem to only be from the SMEP buddy group. It really is a great plan, and we have had so so many successes. Please feel free to join the group at any time. You are more than welcome.

[chookys2boys]

Hi!

What about those in the TTC ongoing thread? I think there are a few in there who are struggling?

Yeah you are right there are a few of us who are struggling, but most of us post in the Grads and Friends BG now. I might mention this group to the girls and see if anyone is interested,

Thanks!

[kyles79]

Yeah I'll mention it in the chart chatter thread too. I think there are some in there who've been trying for awhile. I'll doublecheck first though. This group is gonna rock I think:)