[geckosrule]

My DP and I are TTC and we are not having much luck unfortunately. I've just turned 42 and DP wil be 41 in August.

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether or not I may be getting too old to be a first time mum. I certainly don't feel old and in my mind, I still feel like I'm 18.

It's just that I come across a lot of new mums and they all seem so young, in their 20's or early 30's and it's kind of making me feel a bit, well old.

So, I guess my questions are, how did other feel about becoming a mum in their early 40's? Did you feel like you were starting to get too old to do it? How did your body cope with pregnancy?

I so want to be a mum and have always felt that I would be one day. It might be just nerves about getting pregnant but maybe it's something that all "older" mums feel at some point.

Thoughts?

[soufgirl]

If you are fit and well, why not? I became a first time mother at 39.5 and plan to have a second child when I am 40/41. I don't feel 'old'. My body coped just fine with being pregnant, coped with labour and is coping with having a child under 6 months of age.

If you are fit and well, why not? I became a first time mother at 39.5 and plan to have a second child when I am 40/41. I don't feel 'old'. My body coped just fine with being pregnant, coped with labour and is coping with having a child under 6 months of age.

[Badmother]

If it's the best time for you it's the best time for you! At least you have the added maturity. If it takes longer than 6 months I would see a doctor about perhaps getting yourself looked at but if you're fit and healthy than why not? A lot of people are having their first babies in their early 40s.

I hope your journey is short and plesant

[Gruffalo's Child]

I had my 3rd child just before I turned 42, my first born was just 4 and my son was 3 - so we had them fairly close together. There are many times that I think I am crazy having kids as an older mum, and feel so tired (sleep deprivation does that to you!), but it doesn't last. I found my last pregnancy to be my most difficult - I found it exhausting and am glad I won't be going through pregnancy again, however that could have also been because I was also looking after 2 other young children. Still, compared to other friends, some of whom are a decade younger than me, my pregnancies have been very easy and uncomplicated. I feel very lucky in that regard.

When I look at my 3 children, I am so grateful that I had them. I had considered stopping at 2 as I felt I was getting too old to have another, but DH really wanted one more and I was persuaded. I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful it is that DD2 has come along. I wish that I had had my children when I was younger, but as I hadn't meet DH until my mid 30's that wasn't going to happen!! Still, I'd much rather have had them as an older mum than not have them at all.

Good luck with your TTC journey!

[UgglePuggle]

I fell pregnant unexpectedly at 43 and the pregnancy really took it out of me. But that had more to do with how unfit and overweight I was before I got pregnant than my age. I guess though in our 40s it's harder in general to get fit and lose weight, that much harder if you are also trying to recover from a pregnancy. So my advice, get your body as fit and strong as you can before you conceive, particularly your core muscles and that will make all the difference to how old you feel, both during and after your pregnancy. Good luck!

ETA from my experience, the only downside to having a baby when you're older is the physical aspect, which you can plan for. Mentally I don't think age has anything to do with anything. I know women in their 20s who are "older" than I am (or at least more mature ).

This post has been edited by Nite Owlette: 10/06/2011, 11:48 PM

[fwm]

If it's the best time for you it's the best time for you! At least you have the added maturity. If it takes longer than 6 months I would see a doctor about perhaps getting yourself looked at but if you're fit and healthy than why not? A lot of people are having their first babies in their early 40s.

I hope your journey is short and plesant

I'll be 40 in September and we are trying to conceive baby number 2 at the moment. We have a 3.9 year old son. The majority of my friends are in the same position as me. Many of them are pregnant with their first or second baby at nearly 40.

The advice I was given by my GP is that, at my age, I have about a 5-10% chance of conceiving each month. She advised me to try for 3 months and if I am not pregnant she will refer me to a fertility specialist.

[geckosrule]

If it's the best time for you it's the best time for you! At least you have the added maturity. If it takes longer than 6 months I would see a doctor about perhaps getting yourself looked at but if you're fit and healthy than why not? A lot of people are having their first babies in their early 40s.

I hope your journey is short and plesant

Thanks for replying

Our journey hasn't been short as we have been TTC for over two years, we tried "naturally" for awhile, then assisted and we have tried a few cycles of IVF but to no avail. We will be doing IVF again in the next month, so fingers crossed.

and

Soufgirl, thanks as well. I am fit and well. I think I'm so much healthier, fitter and stronger than I was 20 years ago because back then I was a packet a day smoker, I use to drink often, it was all party party party back then. Now I also have the advantage of life experience and I'm finding as I get older and older, I don't put up with crap if I don't have to. I guess I'm at a point that I know what I like, I know what I want and I'm not afraid to get it....hehe.

Like I said, it's probably just nerves about the whole thing and it will quickly all be forgotten when I get that BFP!

[littlemissmessy]

I've experienced both. I had my first child at 20 and now at 37 I have a baby. I enjoy being a mum more now - mostly because I know what to do and am more relaxed. However, I do tend to worry more - about my health. This might be something you have to consider too, however I don't consider 42 to be old at all. In fact my mother had me at 40 and my brother at 42. The down side to having older parents is that they were not fit enough to play with us, were out of touch with our generation, tried to dress us in clothes they would wear, people always thought they were our grandparents, etc. However, we kept them young and saved them from stagnating.

You also have to consider the teenage years. This is an immensely stressful time and in your case you will be dealing with it at a much older age.

I breezed through my pregnancy and had no health issues despite being older. A lot of my friends who had baby's at an older age warned me I would feel tired, find it harder to cope etc. But I find I have more energy, don't need as much sleep and cope just fine. It is a big life change having a baby, but if you are blessed enough to start a family at this time in your life - just enjoy it. Good luck.

[shelbysmum]

Warning*** Sensitive****
I think that we just need to accept that our journeys are all different. I am about to TTC after losing my first bub. Sometimes I feel old but the reality is we are where we find ourselves and if you are fit and healthy then there should be no reason not to conceive. I will be 39 this September and all the doctors, midwives and geneticists have told me to stop stressing- there is no reason that I can't conceive at this age and with a good outcome.

Good luck and hope the journey is short

[Enharmonic]

I've just had my 1st at age 40.5. I always assumed I'd have children, but met my partner "later" in life. I don't look old, but sometimes feel it!! There were a few increased risks because of age like gestational diabetes and successful conception was more difficult. It's heartbreaking having miscarriages and also knowing the clock is ticking. That said, I think I coped well with pregnancy and was more pragmatic about the ups and downs you can have. I enjoyed being pregnant and loved that I had an excuse for a big belly for once!
Having a newborn (and being a stay-at-home Mum) is maybe harder than if I were younger. I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but I'm struggling with my feelings about my career stalling and my want to nuture and care for my baby. I always thought I'd look after children at home for a few years before going back to work, but that's probably not possible at this age if I want to continue up the career ladder. Also I don't feel as gushy about babies as some younger mothers seem to be, and this is where I sometimes feel old. Perhaps it's the biological clock winding down or I'm just a cynic...maybe both. Despite this, I would like to have another bub in the future.

Good luck and all the best, OP.