[mmk]

My initial thoughts were that DS would just go to public school - I went to one and I turned out ok. DH felt the same.

Now I've been talking to people and for various reasons I'd like DS to go to a private school so he thinks that study is normal etc, and even if he is one of the worst performing kids his results will be much better than if he was an average kid at our local public school. Obviously at this stage I have no idea how he'll do academically, but he has a lot of determination, is very observant and very switched on. I never assumed he'd be anything other than average at school, but I don't want to disadvantage him when he has the potential to be up there with the 'smart' kids. I just want him to have all of the extra opportunites available to him that getting the grades opens up.

DS is 4, so he'll be starting prep next year. I don't want to just send him for high school because I think the step up (of study expectations) will be too great, so I was thinking grade 4 or 5. If he starts this young then we will obviously have to drive him (or get a school bus) so this would limit the schools he could go to I'm guessing because of access.

Another option is to send him to one school for prep-3, another for 4-6 (to prepare for high school), then whichever school was better for high school when he could make his own way there. Some of the high schools though don't have a junior school attached, so he can't just be driven there for 2 or 3 years until he can make his own way there.

We also don't see the point of paying 10k for prep if it's not going to make that much difference in the later years, which is why we were thinking of grade 4-6 to change schools. We can afford private school, but it's going to mean lifestyle changes so we were going to hold off if it won't disadvantage him.

So what would you do? Send him to potentially 3 schools? Or limit high school options by not considering those that don't have a junior school? Or just throw him in the deep end from public primary to private secondary? Or any other option I haven't thought of...

TIA

[soontobegran]

Just to reply to these while I've got the chance - I've compared results from the school I attended to one I would consider for DS. My school (we're still local) got rated at 67. I can assure you my results were much higher than this. The results for the other school were 98. So a huge difference in results. I don't want my child getting an average of 67, and you end up studying how your friends study (as a generalisation). None of us studied. I didn't need to though. If I had've thought it was normal to study, then my results would've been up there with the 98 too. I don't want DS thinking it's normal to not study and just scrape through like a lot of kids do at this particular school. If we had a public school that achieved these results then he would be going public, but I'm not happy with any of the local public schools in the area.

FTR---The highest drop out rate at university is from private school children, as much as people may try to convince you otherwise it is more about the value your parents and school put on educating the child which creates a thirst for and commitment to learning.

If my local state school wasn't up to scratch I would go out of the area........which is what I did and our kids's 'scores' were equivalent and often better than those of the privately educated children of some of my friends.
Appealing to get into an out of zone school is often hard work but it can be done.