I hear this often from church going christians and have posted similarly about this same issue. At the end though I have to say I completely disagree with the reasoning. I love hearing about others finding peace or joy in attending church but for me it simply does not afford that. I'm more aligned with the OP in experience and I now know that to spend time in the company of people who regard themselves as being more righteous than they are is actually an incredible waste of time and quite damaging for me. The churches I've been involved with have focused more on keeping up appearances and were burdened by an enormous amount of judgement of others. I've seen individual thought discouraged under the guise of faith and seen people shunned for their natural curiosity. In short I've experienced little that would extend beyond the definition of bullying.
I don't think I would find peace or joy with those people either. But I have been part of many churches over the years, and while none are perfect, all are places where I have found love, acceptance, peace and joy. I would encourage you to keep seeking a church where you will find true community. But I understand that your previous experiences, as you've described them here, would not inspire you to do so.
Fellowship to me is about celebrating the god aspect with all people. Communion can and should be found with anyone and this is what Christ taught.
We have a different idea of fellowship then I think. Fellowship to me, is about being with other Christians. My husband is not a Christian & doesn't believe in God - there is no human being to whom I am closer, but I am certainly not in fellowship with him.