[misskrm]

Hi everyone, I need help!

This has taken me alot, especially to get to this point. I feel like I am on my last legs as a mummy. He's broken me, and I don't know what to do.

DS1 is 5 and just started school. A sweet kid with a smile to light up the room. He's affectionate and smart...but lately, his behaviour has been out of control. He's rude, cheeky, defiant, aggressive and just plain horrible. He throws tantrums that would make a 2 year old cringe. He kicks out, looks to try and hurt himself. He's mean to his brother, mean to me and my DP and his Dad. He is never still, he has sooo much energy. I have tried EVERYTHING. Smacking, time outs, taking toys off him, stopping him from doing things he wants. Nothing works. I let him run around in the yard to try and burn energy off, I do fun things with him. I try so hard, different calm approaches, talking quietly to him. Nothing works. I have him on a preservative/additive free diet. These tantrums and his acting out is EVERY SINGLE DAY. The 5 days he is with his dad a fortnight, are so peaceful for me.

This morning, getting him and his brother off to school and daycare, was a nightmare. He wouldn't do what I asked, after 10 times..I lost it. I am so ashamed. I ended up in heap on the floor crying my eyes out. In the end, he quietly went and did what I asked, and waited by the door. (how hard was it really?) I know FYOS is a hard adjustment for kids, so give him a little leeway, but I am not his punching bag. I worry that his little brother is going to think that it is acceptable and be exactly the same.

This is so hard for me to admit, but it's getting to the point of me not wanting him to be here with me. I know this is horrible, and I would never ask his Dad to have him fulltime, but the thought is there, you know? I feel like I am failing him, and that I am the worst mum in the world. I have anxiety issues myself, and stressing about his behaviour doesn't help them. I have tears streaming down my face as I write this.

At school he is really good, his teachers (old daycare teachers too) love having him. I assume if there were any behavioural issues, then he would be acting out there too.

What can I do? I love him so much, and I just want my sweet little boy back.

Thanks for reading, I am sorry if it is all over the place, I just need to get it out.

[misskrm]

14392295[/url]']
I don't have any advice but wanted to say you sound like you are doing an amazing job and you need one of these

Thank you, I do.

14392297[/url]']
We've had a very rough transition to school in terms of at-home behaviour to OP.

How much sleep is your son getting? We've had to start the bedtime process earlier and put DS to bed before his younger sister because school is so exhausting.

I shall be watching this thread with interest!

He usually is in bed by 8, story then straight to sleep. Bed is one thing he doesn't fight me on.

14392304[/url]']
I feel so sad for you. I don't have much advice to offer but felt like letting you know you are not alone. When my DS was five and just started school he behaved similarly. I remember one day I was driving and he was punching and kicking me. I used to be a wreck and in tears a lot as nothing worked.

Could there be something happening at school to upset him? Maybe an older kid is being mean? Kids often internalise those sorts of problems. Or maybe something has changed at his Dad's house?

Keep your chin up, you are doing the best you can. My DS is now 10 and a lovely, polite and caring boy so I can tell you from experience it does get better.

That's a relief. I feel like I am in tears constantly. We talk about school, and he knows he can tell me everything. I don't think he's having problems, his teacher has never said anything either. Thanks though, that is something to consider. His dad and I are pretty much on the same page, so I'm sure all is fine over there. I know he misses his dad, but heis allowed to call him as much as he wants, and my ex will call too.