Mamabug, what a dear friend you are. I imagine it must be very hard for you not knowing exactly how to best support your friend.
As for reading, I think that "The Australian Autism Handbook" is one of the best resources out there. You can find it at most big bookstores but probably a better place is at your local library or order on line:http://www.fishpond.com.au/Books/Australia...autism+handbook
There is a very good chapter in it directed toward loves ones of families whose kids have been diagnosed with ASD.
There are also some good "overview" resources on The Raising Children With Autism web site:http://raisingchildren.net.au/learning_abo...out_autism.htmlhttp://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/aut...tml/context/986
I think the most important thing you can do for her is just be there (even via telephone and email) as a safe harbour where she can share her worries, her fears, and her joys. One of the nicest things a friend said to me was "I don't know exactly what you are going through, but I am here for you in whatever way you need me." And she has been!
Best wishes to your friend. You are a lovely person for being so supportive.