[lils]

Hi Ladies

I just feel like screaming today. DS (3) who was recently diagnosed with moderate autism, is just getting on my nerves big time.
I cannot leave the house without there being some massive tantrum, hair pulling, screaming, stares from everyone else etc etc. I feel so stressed. At home he just pulls me around like a dog on a leash all day to get what he wants. I cannot sit down for 5 mins by myself. My partner works away, so its just the way it is.
We sat home the past 2 days as he is just so hard to take anywhere. This morning i decided to venture out to the shops and within 2 mins of being there he is having a tantrum. He doesn't want to sit in the trolley. He doesn't want to stand in the trolley. He just wants to run away. So, you pick him up and put him back in the trolley and he pulls a big chunk of hair out of the side of your head and scratches your face deliberately. I end up having to purchase all sorts of things that we dont need to keep him occupied in the trolley.
I know i probably should be getting used to this by now, but i'm not. The older he gets the worse he gets. It is embarrasing. I don't know how to handle this
We finally start Early intervention tomorrow thank god. Please somebody tell me it does get better than this.
Sorry if i sound like a big ol whinger I am probably just stressed out and will calm down soon lol

[~Karla~]

It gets better. Or at least you get better at handling it and ignoring all the stares and comments when you're out.

My twins (ASD) are only 4, so not much older than your boy. I still have plenty of days like that, but I also get days now where they are delightful.

The most important thing to remember is that today will end. And tomorrow will be a new day. That and wine. I find plenty if wine on hand in the evenings helps immensely.

[bluecardigans]

I do remember that at around four, DS got much better a being able to entertain himself. He was able to play with things on his own and didn't drag me all of the house every 10 minutes. He can now occupy himself playing with Lego, cars, the computer or iPad.

I used to take DS grocery shopping every week, but when DS 2 was born, it became too difficult. DS used to absolutely flip out when shopping. It finally dawned on me that he did this beause he hated it. I only take him shopping now is when I can't avoid it, and then I just get the items I absolutely need, or when I am buying something just for him like clothes or toys. If we are in and out pretty quickly he is ok.

[LambChop]

It gets better, ur seriously at *the* worst age, great that ur starting EI tomorrow... it's two steps forward one step back for the next 2-3 years, but you will slowly move forward

Hang in there! Keep venting away, many of us have been there - bruises, black eye, public meltdowns etc....

[Cat©]

Having been there 5 times now I can say YES! it (usually) gets better.

Mine have all been considerably better, except one, as they got older.

I found the 2-5 age group really hard, I still have one who is really hard at 8, but as hes the size of a 3/4 yr old hes easy to handle! But yes my 3 yr old is like yours, everything is on his terms, every outing is a nightmare, and we spend the whole time trying to make sure he doesnt have a meltdown.

[LittleMissPink]

As the other have said, it does get better.

But in saying that, you need to choose your outings wisely. Sounds like shopping is not your mans cup of tea. So try a park first? Find a nice quiet park with a fence and let him play. Then once he can handle that, find a busier park with more kids around and more stuff.

You need to take your cues from him. If he cant handle something he will let you know. So you leave. He cant tell you that the lights and noise and stimulation is too much for him, so he acts out.

[ZombieMum]

It gets better - as you learn to recognise what is good for your child, and what isn't good for your child. Your child's behaviour can be a way of them communicating that they are stressed out and are not coping with the environment you have placed them in.

Shopping may not be good for them - there's a lot of sensory issues there - lights in the supermarket, smells, and crowds of people etc.

If you put your child in a stressful situation, then you have to accept that they will probably react - so if it's possible, avoid those situations!

[bubba boo]

It does get better but it's a long hard process. I spent from about the time ds1 was 18 months to 3 1/2 years trying to find ways of getting out of the house with him. In that time I turned into a forced hermit lol. I would leave the house twice a week, once to go shopping and I would end up standing at the entrance to the shops with ds1 screaming whilst dh did the shopping and once to go to church with me pinning ds 1 down in the foyer. Slowly ds1 is learning to tolerate more things and I'm learning when to try and when to stay at home. Also learning what helps him to cope e.g. hiding in the pram and the iPad(my lifesaver for necessary outings). I'm still a hermit but there is slow progress. EI and OT and speech therapy all really help.

[lils]

Thankyou everyone for your replies.

The thing with shopping is, that he does seem to enjoy it. He just gets really over excited and wants to run and touch everything. He wants to go on every single ride that he sees out in the mall or take things off shelves and think they are his to keep. I am unable to do a proper food shop with him as he has meltdowns because he cant walk next to me (run away rather). I guess i am just best not to take him.
I never thought he was overly sensory with the noises, lights etc at the shops. Is it possible that i am misreading his behaviour? It just seems that he wants HIS way the whole time and if you dont give it to him he will have an instant meltdown. It's like Terrible Twos x 10!!!
He is like this anywhere though. If i let him walk down to the school he will pull me the whole way there and then want to run back and forth to all the bins around the school and open and close them ( he has a current obsession with this). I'm sure everyone thinks we are strange lol

Oh the drama

[amyjones]

Hmm, okay, for us it just has gotten worse over time, DD who is now 11 is at the point where since DH is away for two weeks, to us means I will not leave the house at all in the next two weeks, yes, seriously.
So for some it gets better, for others not,
But, each day, no matter how bad, is still only 24 hours, sometimes that is all that gets me through.