[tothebeach]

My son as been invited for a sleepover to a friend's house. I don't know the family at all except for the occassional hi to the father at the school gate and he has never been there for a playdate.

My immediate instinct was to say no - we have always said that 8 was the age we would allow sleepovers and had assumed it would be one of his close friends from school (where we know the family really well).

Talking to some of the other parents (who I don't know well), all the other boys are being allowed to stay. One mum is going there next week to check out their house but has already said yes.

So, now I'm wondering whether I am being too protective - DS is, of course, very upset not to be allowed to go.

I'm not usually a helicopter parent - we have done drop and run for parties since he was 4/5 and have been happy for him to go on playdates without me when I have briefly met the parents at school.

So, what is the normal sleepover age?

[liveworkplay]

My eldest was 7 on her first sleepover. I did know the mum quite well but had never been to their house. I had only met the father a few times. I now know them much better (still havent been to their house though ) and found out a good friend knows the father very very well. He is also a police officer hich, rightly or wrongly, put my mind at ease a lot the first time.

No matter what age, I would have to know the parents and child and I trust my instincts on these things. I also never leave my kids at a party unless it is an organised party with professional host, I am good friends with a parent staying or I know the parents. Once they hit the teen years, then I don't think I will be as picky but I would still have to at least have met the parents a few times.

[The Old Bag]

Sounds like it's a couple of weeks away?

I'd do what the other mother did and give a tentative 'yes' while making some time over the next week or so to check out the house and get to know the family a bit better. If the kids are that close, I'd be wanting to meet them and organise a play either way, so nothing to lose!

[Guest_Retro_Mumma_*]

Id organise a play date or catch up with one of the parents for coffee or invite them over for a BBQ first.

Also I dont know if you have or havent but if you havent id give your son the talk on innapropriate touching or what to do if he feels uncomfortable and wants to come home. Its not a nice thing to think about let alone talk about but it has to be done.

It was drilled into my head from early on and my mum was very strict about whose house I slept over but once she knew the parents she was fine and I was having sleep overs at that age.

[sophiasmum]

I'm pretty relaxed about it. They have been for sleepovers since they were 5, but I knew the (school) family well. So, in the situation of OP, I would say yes.

[ziggy72]

My DS has had sleepovers since 5 years old and was begging from 4 years old. I have known the families very well, so that makes it different. I have to say I know another mother who says that sleeppvers don't begin before 8 years old in their family, which I don't get. I think it comes down to maturity, confidence to go on your own and of course your comfort with who they will be cared for. I think it is great to allow kids to go if those criteria are all there.

[Julie3Girls]

Sounds like it is a party with a few kids, not just your son sleeping over.

In which case, if your son is comfortable, then I'd let him stay. Maybe invite the boy over one afternoon, give you a chance to talk to the parents and just get a bit more of a feel for them.

[i-believe-in-mir...]

I'd let him go, especially if it is a group of mates all staying over. He will have so much fun.

My son has had his first sleep overs this year, at 6 years old. DD was 3 (with very close famliy friends) but she was 7 with school friends. It wasn't really a case of how old they had to be before they were allowed, but more when they felt comfortable sleeping away from mum and dad. It was their choice (but I did know the parents).

[LifesGood]

No I wouldn't be comfortable with it. I would have to know the family well and be familiar with their home and parenting style. IMHO that is too young for sleepovers in any case. I have a number more like 10 in my mind.

[~ky~]

My DD had 3 children aged 5, 6 and 7 sleep over for her 6th birthday party. She had previously been to several sleepovers at friend's houses.

At age 7½ I would definitely be saying yes, OP as long as I trusted the parents.