[rattie]

Hi all,

DS1's 4th birthday party is coming up soon. We have loads of people to invite, as we dont want to exclude any of our friends/his childcare friends. So, there will probably be about 20 kids coming.

I really dont want or expect any gifts for DS1. Firstly, its a waste. He has loads of lovely toys, why buy something for $10 bucks that has a massive carbon footprint and will just sit around for ages before being tossed. If everyone that turns up buys a gift I feel it really is too much. For us, its about spending a special day with friends and having fun. I also dont want years and years of heaps of toys for every birthday, its not a good message to send to my kids IMHO.

I'm not sure my DS would view it like that but I reckon I could make a good fist of explaining it to him, and maybe giving him one special "party present" after the party or something like that.

I'm interested in others thoughts on the matter, any ideas on how to approach this with DS and on the invitation (I wrote no gifts please on his 2nd birthday invite but it was ignored lol) and how to approach it with parents.

Has anyone pulled off a no gift party for a preschooler?

TIA :-)

[Kwyjibo]

I think that the 'No gift' rule is always going to be ignored by a few. Some people (and especially children) just like giving presents. And parties are magnets for them.

Maybe something along the lines of 'No present required but if you do then a book or some art/craft supplies will be appreciated'

You are at least then (hopefully) in charge of what your child may receive.

This post has been edited by Bernard: 29/05/2012, 12:10 PM

[PatG]

Perhaps you could request no gifts but that each child comes with a handprint (or photo or something) on paper that can be used to make a collage at the party - i.e. each child adds their handprint to a large piece op paper and writes/gets help writing their name and a birthday message next to it...... That way people don't feel like they are turning up empty handed and you don't end up with mountains of stuff you don't want/need.

[liveworkplay]

I think it is impossible to ban presents from a party

[baddmammajamma]

I chimed into a discussion about this a few months ago.

I did have a "gift free" party when my daughter turned 2. We asked for canned food donations instead and made a big donation to a local food pantry. It was fantasitc. I am thinking of trying to spark the gift-free trend here in Sydney -- my brother's kids (in San Francisco) have already been invited to a few parties like this.

Hint: If you invite your guests to donate to a "cause," you might get a better reception. For instance, toys or clothing for children in need. Your son might enjoy getting involved in helping others in that way. My 4-year-old's preschool class have a "special friend" in India -- they are taking on extra chores at home to early pocket money to send to the little girl & her family. I think kids at that age are old enough to begin to experience the joys of helping others.

[Chillax]

I know what you're getting at. I've felt the same. However I do think it's difficult to stop people and I also think it's a little unfair on the child....at 4, kids get so much joy from unwrapping a gift, no matter how small.
I know what you mean about receiving more crap for the playroom though.

I've compromised on this by limiting the number of parties my kids will have. A lot of the kids at school have parties every year but I've told DD she will only have a party every few years. That way, when she does have a party, the presents are even more exciting.

[Julie3Girls]

I agree that it's hard to limit presents from friends when they are young/early school age.

Not so much because the birthday child wants to open presents, but I know that my girls absolutely love going out to find a present for their friend. They love picking it out, wrapping it. They make their own cards. And so excited to hand it over on the day.

I'd probably go with suggesting no gifts, or suggesting something less junky like books. (with books, if you get duplicates, or simply too many, I know most preschools would love book donations)
Maybe if there is any bigger type of gift you want to get your DS, you might be able to get family and closer friends to contribute to that instead (no gifts necessary, but if you MUST, we do want to buy X)

[DS1979]

I haven't read the replies yet so sorry if I'm repeating what someone else has already said.

Every year I have a combined party for my two (5 and 3 year old) and I always write on their invitations "There's no need to bring a present, just come along and join us for some cake and a play". Some parents bring their kids with nothing but most will bring something small. This year I have considered asking them to donate to a specific charity instead - maybe that's something you could consider....

Some of the mums in my sons class in kindy have started up a birthday club where everyone just puts $10 in a card and the birthday kid can either choose their own present with the money or put it into a savings account.

Because both my kids birthdays fall at the end of the year I usually will end up putting all the gifts we get that I know they won't play with under the Kmart xmas tree. They are so spoilt by my family that they NEVER notice that the presents from their friends have disappeared!

[lakurumau]

We had a "no presents please" party for DD's third. Some people did still bring presents, but others gave her handmade cards and one mum even handstitched a heart with pockets containing photos of DD's friends, which we still have.

I love the gift-free birthday idea, and it totally makes sense....but I have to admit that we didn't specify no gifts for her fourth. Having said that, though, there were only her two best friends at her verrrrry low-key fourth birthday party, so she didn't get too much anyway.

[hunter4]

Perhaps you could request no gifts but that each child comes with a handprint (or photo or something) on paper that can be used to make a collage at the party - i.e. each child adds their handprint to a large piece op paper and writes/gets help writing their name and a birthday message next to it...... That way people don't feel like they are turning up empty handed and you don't end up with mountains of stuff you don't want/need.

I love this idea, this way the kids coming have the fun of giving something to the birthday kid, plus it makes a good game at the party itself.