[Fanny McPhail]

Hey OP, I was reading your post over the weekend and it reminded me of DS at about the same age. What I did at the time was to read a thread about child who were chronic non eaters and started implementing the techniques they discussed. One of which was to encourage DS to lick new food, I found the following post that I wrote over a year ago about the technique we used (i'm not weird I was looking for something else). DS, now 4, will still lick new food and it either gets gobbled up or discreetly placed back on his plate.

Whenever we introduce a new food to DS (34mnths) we ask him to lick it first, which he will do quite happily, then we offer him the choice of licking it again or biting it. He is giving encouragement at every step and no fuss is made if he doesn't eat it. If all he does is lick it he is told that he has done a great job and is then told to put the food item back on his plate and leave it there. As he has older he has got braver and sees this as a game and even ate cauliflower the other night!

Good luck and remember this too shall pass.

This post has been edited by Pomme: 04/06/2012, 01:31 PM

[duck-o-lah]

thanks, I'll give it a go Pomme!

[Bellefin]

We've been going through this recently. I used to offer DD baked beans or peanut butter on toast if she didn't want her dinner so she was full up. Then it got to the point where she wouldn't even eat pasta with pesto and cheese which used to be her favourite. I was spending an hour coaxing, begging and bribing then losing my temper. So I started starving her, if she didn't eat the dinner she went to bed hungry, didn't even get her milk. Last night we had a breakthrough, I'd made a mega vegetable soup that she wouldn't eat and at bedtime she asked for toast so I told her all she could have was soup so she agreed and ate a whole bowl of it. Tonight she ate a whole plate of risotto. I know she won't eat everything but I feel like its a breakthrough. I let her eat toast for lunch but she has to have the main meal for dinner. She still likes to push boundaries by not sitting in her chair or making me show her a picture of a baby between each mouthful but whatever, at least she's not getting into the habit of refusing everything.

[Guest_bottle~rocket_*]

I agree with PPs that if you are worried about your child's eating it is worth getting professional help. Are there any concerns about his weight gains and general health?

We had similar food issues with our DS and he was gaining weight very slowly. We started off by visiting our GP who gave us a referral to a dietician. She recommended offering him a wide variety of foods and to just persist with offering things, without making a fuss when they are refused.

I haven't found the "tough love" approach to eating really worked for us. If DS didn't eat his dinner then he would wake up at 3am starving and we all suffered.
If he doesn't eat the family dinner he doesn't get treats but I always offer something else such as fruit or weetbix so he is does not go hungry. We have found it is better for all of us if mealtimes are relaxed and happy so we no longer try to coax him to eat things if he doesn't want them.

[mayahlb]

DS1 is a fussy eater (3.5). Currently I bribe him with cartoons to get him to eat. He is always served the same as everyone else but I have found he is just not a big eater. But he has always been a fussy eater. I do think sometimes that he has issues with texture (it is ridiculously hard to get him to eat any form of meat that isn't cooked into oblivion like mince though he has gotten a bit better lately). We had an OT assessment not long a go and I mentioned it. Thankfully even though he is slender and always has been he seems to still put on weight reasonably (unlike my other child who eats heaps and struggles to gain weight)
But as a PP said I would just offer it up and give him the choice to eat it

[witchesforest]

i read that this an evolutionary adaptation - that kids are actually designed to get more careful/picky at the same time as they get freedom of movement and the ability to access more different things to eat.

back in caveman days it was to stop them just wandering around the forest and sticking anything in their mouth - i guess like poison mushrooms or whatever. they would just stick to the roast woolly mammoth that they 'knew' was definitely safe.

if this is true, they should grow out of it as they get the brainpower to understand what is dangerous to put in their mouths, so maybe age 3 or 4. that has been pretty much my experience with my daughter - she got very conservative about food from about 18 months, then more adventurous from about age 3.5 or so.

the other thing my mum who is a doctor always reminds me is that babies grow physically a huge amount - double their weight in a few months etc - but toddlers growth is slower and is more about developmental ability. so it can SEEM to us like they are suddenly eating 'less' or 'not enough' but they have tiny tummies and suddenly need less physical growth from around 18 months.

i agree with the 'you decide what & when, they decide how much'. my little one definitely hasn't starved from following this idea, so i am happy as long as i offer her healthy food to just let her stop when she feels full.