[HillmanMinx]

So mums in hospital. it takes us 1.5 hours there and 1.5 hours back.
I used to do it twice a day (coming home to pick the kids up).
I burned out.
I got dad accom in the city so he could be there every day.
10 days, 1800 dollars later - he came home. (we are 5kms outside the PATS scheme boundary)
Now we go daily, have been leaving at noon and getting home at 930 pm.
Mum is whinging 'nobody stays long' 'nobody visits'
We are EXHAUSTED and have tried to explain but she just doesn't get it.
Maybe related to medications, maybe depression, not sure.

I have brought knitting up - she made me take it home.
We put the tele on - she made us turn it off.
Brother sent her an Ipad - she made us take it home.
Bought her a sketchbook and pencil - she complained it was wrong type.



My dad collapsed yesterday - exhausted. My sis went alone. Mum almost had my sister in tears with her complaints and negativity.

What can we do - to help mum, to allay our guilt, to get life back some sanity!

We are facing a min of 5 more weeks of this IF she has surgery and her surgery is successful.
Otherwise - how long is a piece of string.

F our Lives!

[maurie]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It is so very very hard.

We went through 2 years of FIL being in and out of hospital/nursing homes/respite centres/at home and it was hell for everyone.

DH has other siblings who basically left it up to dh to deal with, they'd visit every now and then but dh did everything, because the others wouldn't help.

It took a toll on us all and I had to remind dh that his dad could do without him for a day here and there, that he could throw a temper tantrum at the hospital but it didn't mean that dh had to run straight over and sort out the problem.

FIL passed away last year and dh is comfortable with how he was there for his dad in his last 2 years. He would've regretted not spending as much time with him as he did, even though it was very hard on us all.

We just basically got through it - and took time out for just us when we could.

I wish you luck and hope your mum gets better soon.