[~Alchemy~]

I imagine I'll get the whole spectrum of responses with this WDYT and I'm even prepared to be heavily critcised but what do you think about co-sleeping still at 4 (well almost 4)?

A bit of background... my daughter was a shocking sleeper right up until 2. I varied between co-sleeping and sleeping her in her own room and by 2.5 she was happily sleeping in her own room and I was finally getting decent sleep.

My husband and I separated and I moved further down south so it was just her and I.

Winter rolled around (and as a Cairns baby she'd never experienced cold weather) so my perfect sleeper became a regular waker as she would continue to kick off her blankets and wake up cold. She doesn't sleep comfortably with a lot of clothes on so I ended up moving her into bed with me that winter so we could both sleep well.

And there she has stayed. I sometimes get funny looks when I state that my daughter still sleeps in my bed. I've not had a partner (of any kind!) in that time and it is lovely to wake to cuddles every morning. I also remind myself that one day she'll not want to share a bed, let alone give morning cuddles and I should soak up this time while I can. Kids grow far too quickly and I'll look back on these times with fondness I'm sure.

I am starting to wonder if it's getting to the point where I should encourage her to sleep in her own bed again. Is there a point where it becomes 'unhealthy' or weird (for want of a better word ). I'm interested to hear what the general EB consensus is. More out of curiosity than for advice. I'll do what I damn well please anyway...

[futureself]

Normally I wouldn't respond but as it is in general, out of curiosity I'll ask:
What would you do if you did get a partner? Would you expect her to suddenly sleep in her own bed so you could have privacy and sex?

[lafonda]

DS will be 4 in December and most nights sleeps in bed with DH and I or just one of us and the other being in his single bed.

[~Nodnol~]

Mine have all co-slept until they were around four and then we started the transition. It works for us, and everyone is happy. I don't think it is weird, but we try and start getting them into their own bed then because that's about the age they start wanting to sleep at Nan's etc and other kids that age tend to tease a bit.

[~Alchemy~]

I've thought about this a lot futurself and I've actually considered transitioning her now, just in case someone is just around the corner. I'm very aware the signal I would be sending her if someone new turned up and she's suddenly out of bed.

The truth is though, if I met someone tomorrow, he would a) not be meeting my daughter for sometime and b) would definitely not have sleep overs in the first few months! So I suppose I would get her into her own bed during that period so there is no direct link between new bloke showing up and her being tossed out of bed.

Definitely a worthwhile question though and one I've thought about myself

[MakeLoveNotBacon]

Normally I wouldn't respond but as it is in general, out of curiosity I'll ask:
What would you do if you did get a partner? Would you expect her to suddenly sleep in her own bed so you could have privacy and sex?

I would imagine so. Eventually with all co-sleepers someone wants their space, whether than be the child, parent or both. I'm quite sure the OP is going to be sensitive to her daughter's needs. When we wanted ds in his own room/bed at 3.5 because we had a new baby coming, we took our time preparing him, slept with him in his bed some nights, him in ours, until he was comfortable with the new arrangement. I'm sure the OP wouldn't expect her daughter to "suddenly" sleep in her own bed. Usually when you met a partner there is a considerable time in between the partner sleeping over when you have a child - whether that child sleeps in your bed or not.

To the OP - I think it's fine if you are both happy

This post has been edited by MakeLoveNotBacon: 17/06/2012, 06:23 PM

[~Alchemy~]

MakeLoveNotBacon is right on the money

[twinboys]

What ever works for you!!

If you do meet another potential bedmate then yes you will have to do a weaning process for your DD

My boys are 7 and I still have them occasionally co sleep with me (DH sleeps seperately as he is a shocking snorer!!)
I only managed to kick them out out of my bed as co sleepers when they were 4 years old ......... Really bad sleepers in my house!!

[LynnyP]

Can't see it as either a problem or all that unusual.

People the world over have managed to have sex a) not at night time and b) not in a bed!

[~Alchemy~]

One of the drawbacks of the situation is that I am reluctant for her to have sleepovers except for at my mums (where she sleeps on her own quite readily!). I am at a point where I would trust a particular friend to have her overnight but I am not sure how my daughter would go in a strange house/sleeping on her own. Another reason why it's been on my mind lately.