[with the goo goo...]

Just had our 20 week ultrasound and found out that our baby who was perfect at 12 weeks stopped growing at 13. Thats 7 weeks of carrying around a pile if dead flesh with absolutely no idea anything was wrong. Why is my body so stupid that it doesnt realise? This is my second mmc that we were blissfully unaware of.

This pregnancy turned our lives upside down for a while. We were due to move to China in October but those plans had to be seriously tweaked. I was terrified of the concept of moving overseas with three small kids, but excited by the challenge as well. There have been so many hoops to get through and hard decisions. All of those were useless.

There are so many people to untell. I stupidly told new people just yesterday.

I am terrified of surgery and dont want to gp through the process of dealing with the hospital again. Last time it was such a debarcle.

I have not even begun to process the fact that I have lost another baby. Just the practicalities are too much.

This post has been edited by Freckles: 21/07/2012, 05:02 PM

Reason for edit: Sig removed by Moderator

[Aribika]

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your little one. And the changes of plans you had to make. I hope the medical necessities are much less complicated for you this time even thought it will still be so hard.

Thinking of you.

Lorraine

[Jenflea]

I'm so, so sorry this happened to you
Life can be so damn unfair sometimes.

hugs to you all at this horrible time.

[ally0812]

im so sorry i dont know what else to tell you except i send my love to you and your family x

[niggles]

I'm so so sorry for the devastating loss of your little one Hope you have lots of loving people around you right now.

[Mamabug]

Oh no. I am so sorry. You know we are all here for you - we have been through it together once, and it is so unfair that you have to go through it all again.

I wish there was more I could say. Take time to process it all. DOn't care about anyone but your family at the moment - you all need time to come to terms with this news.

My heart aches for you.

[rubylilysmum]

I am so sorry you have lost your precious baby.

I understand your fustrations of carrying around a baby who has passed away for a while since it happened to my in 2009 not realsising my baby had passed away at 22 weeks and found out at 28 weeks ( thought I had a quiet baby and sometimes had phampton kicks). I still blame myself for not telling me Ruby had died.

Is it possible to go to a different hospital to have a D&C this time around where you might feel at bit more comfortable.

Untelling people is so hard we miscarried at 15 weeks 6 weeks ago and told people like you days before we were pregnant again. I used facebook to get the meassage out since most people are your facebook and you didin't risk bumping into them in public which is harder.

If you would like to talk please feeel free to PM me.


Mandy

[MrsNorthman]

I'm so sorry I cannot imagine the pain of a MMC, especially so late in the pregnancy. Its just bull$hit that this can happen.

eta. with some of miscarriages I asked a best friend to do the telling of quite of a few of the people so I wouldn't have to relive it over and over...maybe this could be an option? Or perhaps ask DH to handle the family telling?

again just so sorry...

This post has been edited by mrsnorthman: 21/07/2012, 02:13 PM

[Riotproof]

Jen, I'm so sorry. I had a miscarriage at 17 weeks, so I can almost understand how you feel.
Be kind to you and DH, it's not an easy thing to live through.

ETA, I had our playgroup organiser tell all the mothers at playgroup, just because I didn't want to walk in and tell people, over and over again.
I did find the telling a bit therapeutic, but for me it was different since I went into labour at home.

This post has been edited by Riotproof: 22/07/2012, 04:23 PM

[librablonde]

Oh OP, how ghastly, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I totally understand your fear of dealing with the hospital again. Can your DP or a close friend be an advocate for you with the hospital and Dr's? You need a clear-headed person to be tough and be your advocate when the hospital processes and policies can be so domineering. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you have lots of love and support around you.