Quick rundown.

DS is going on 7 weeks old and has been on varying amounts of formula top ups since birth. I sobbed at the hospital when told by a midwife I was starving him and he needed formula or would suffer. I was also refused any other form of non-teat forms of feeding except a nasal tube due to 'hospital regulations'. He has been diagnosed with a weak suck which caused poor attachment, the loss of half a nipple and the resulting use of nipple shields.

Since then every time I tried to fully BF he lost or failed to gain weight so I ended up topping up every feed on advice from the health nurse, paed, lactation consultant and even an ABA councillor (this was the clincher).

Now he is refusing the breast all together. I have tried calming him (and me) and trying again, letting him suck on a finger with a formula line and then attaching, letting him suck on a bottle then attaching and feeding while he's mostly asleep. If I'm lucky we get 5 minutes, most of the day is no go though. We try for between 15 and 30 minutes each feed depending how distressed we both are.

I realise most of the problem is my supply being compromised due to the top ups but I can't express worth a damn. 5 to 10 ml no matter if manual, pump, with a feed, after shower, when full, even the middle of the night.
I have tried fenugreek and domperidone and they have helped but not enough.

I failed with my first and am not quite ready to give up on this one, especially as he's my last chance to see what the joy is about (god that sounds selfish).

Can anybody give any advice on how to combat this, or any happy stories of getting back on track to help me out?
Feeling a little fragile here but am willing to lay it all out there if it means I can BF my son.
Thanks for reading.

I have no advice but am replying to bump this up for you and to say that I think you are doing a marvellous job trying so hard to feed your babe under what sounds like horrendous circumstances

I really fell for you reading this post. And you are not selfish wanting to BF your son.
Wondering who 'diagnosed' your little one with a 'weak suck'? Assuming it was a LC? Would you consider talking to another one? or talk to the same one again and tell her how much you want to BF this baby, and ask how she can help you?
One positive as I see it is that your bub is only 7 weeks old, so lots can change.
Another thing... how often is he being weighed? could it be too often? Babies do gain weight at different rates. If we are weighing too frequently it will definitely show a slow gain.
Does he have any other health problems?
Do you have time to even talk to a counsellor again? It may help?
Is there a breastfeeding clinic run by the hospital at all that you could utilise? (like a daystay type thing - your MCHN could tell you if there is one).

Trying to think.....
Get back to us,
Rachel

Thanks Lyra .

Rachel - I had a day stay a couple of weeks ago and the LC pretty much said I'm doing everything right, as has everyone else (I'm beginning to hate that saying, why say it when obviously I'm not or it would work). I have another day stay booked in a week and a half, we decided to see if his suck would get stronger if we fed him up, unfortunately it hasn't seemed to. He still takes 40 minutes constant sucking to have 150ml from a bottle.

Good news, I have found out that a LC that has specialised in suck strength works at the same hospital as the LC day stay so I'm getting her to come in next week and check things out. Apparently there are exercises you can do with your baby to improve the suck strength would you believe.

I hate that there is nothing more I can do. I am pumping as much and as often as possible, still on the drugs to increase supply and still trying to BF each feed using all the techniques I've been taught.

It just gives me the poos that I have researched this for months, spent many hours with various specialists, spent a small fortune on these same specialists and we still have only made it to week 7 so far.

Thanks for your help though, I really do appreciate the good wishes.

Hang in there.
Lets hope this woman can help you.
You know you can always call ABA just for a chat or to talk about how you are feeling. They are good listeners.
Remember 7 weeks is still early days.... lets hope for both of you that things improve.
Best of luck and well done for trying so hard.
Rach