How many of us actually grew up in an environment where their parents were very much in love / no issues???

That'd be a big NO! They are still together, God only knows why...

Sorry do you only want to hear from people who did?

Yes they did, was it anything like marriages now, no. They were married for 50 years and about 3 mths.

But I believe they were happy until the day mum died. I will say though that the last couple of years when mum was so ill really was hard on the relationship. We now realise dad was becoming more and more forgetful, but this was being hidden. Dad was learning to go shopping for the first time in his life etc, so that was really tough.

Happy marriage for my parents.
They are loving now their time with us all grown up and about to embark on the grey nomad adventure.
I don't recally any fights or problems.


Edited to add they have been married for 43 years.

Not me. I think they were/are in love but they fought incessantly while I was growing up. They seem a bit happier now us kids are all over and they can go away on holiday together.

My parents were happy, only the odd argument.

They were happy until Mum died, were married for about 21 years.

Yes

That's cool fancypants. Want to hear both sides of the issue.

Mine were crap - they fought all the time and my dad was a prick to us kids.

We only found out a few years ago that he had bi-polar. Pity he wasn't sorted out when we were growing up!!!!!

I always thought my perents weer happy, we had more then most in the sence we always went away over easter and christmas, we always went skiing over summer, we always had fun family times.
it wasnt until i was in 1st year highschool that i realised that everything wasnt as "happy" as i had always thought, because i came home to a almost empty house, my mum had up and left while my sister and i were at school and my Dad was at work, it came as a shock to all of us.

Years later i found out the reason she left was because she was having a affair for aprox 6 months before she left.
i guess sometimes its not whats perceived from the outside that counts, it's whats building up on the inside.

My parents recently celebrated their 40th anniversary. I can never recall any fights or arguments - maybe they did but never in front of us (which is good).

Mum has said that they had their ups and downs especially when we were young but back then they stayed together more so because the wifes were very dependant on their husbands and were possibly frowned apon if they left. Who knows? they are still together and as far as I know very happy.

Just wish my x had a few of my fathers qualities!!

No my parents had a very unhappy marriage. They divorced when I was 10.

Nope. Parents divorved when I was 13 after 25 years of marriage - how mum statyed that long I dont know.

DH parents though are still happily married after 30 odd years. They have the jestful snipe at each other but thats it. Head of on 3 month at a time caravanning trips so they mustnt hate the sight of each other.

Bekko: can related to that my Dad was an unmedicated schizophrenic. My mum tried her darndest to get help for him and still thinks it is her fault.

My parents had their 35 anniversary last Sunday. Has it been happy to date, I think so. I'm not so sure that mum has been as happy in recent years as she gets very exasperated with my dad but I think on the whole it has been a fairly happy marriage.

There's is one of the reason I split up with my ex as we had none of the shared interests and happy times that I have seen my parents have over the years.

Just reading other posts. I will add to mine.

I really only remember my parents arguing when I was in form 1 (year 7). Mum was ill, things were tougher than normal financially and dad was not coping.Mums It lasted about 3 mths. It certainly didn't include name calling, I suppose I struggle with the concept of people who love each other calling each other names.

I don't doubt my parents love for each other but it baffles me daily why they are still married They've been married 37 years. Mum nags the sh*t out of dad & dad expects mum to be a 1950's house wife

Yep. I can happily say that my grandparents had happy marriages until they lost their partner & my parents AND my in-laws are both happily married. My parents have been married 43 yrs and it's all good. I'm sure they had their tough times, but they never fought in front of us and we always felt secure and loved. They are happy and I love spending time with them

same with my parents throughout my childhood they had terrible fights behind each others backs i always got to hear what a b*stard my Dad was and what a b*tch my mum was, god i was happy to move out!!

Ditto...

No, the complete opposite. My dad made it well known he was only sticking around until my youngest sister turned 18, and when she was 18 they split up.

They where pretty much just living together for convience sake.

Big Fat NO from me too. They fought when we were growing up, still fight now. Dad does all the housework, yard work etc, mum sits on her butt and orders him around. Was the other way around until my brother was 16.

They've been married 40 years, there's been one affair by my dad (that I know of). I don't really know why they bother, just easier than splitting everything I surpose.


The girls father's parents divorced when he was 6.

This is a sad thread.

My story isn't so sad. My parents have been married for 36 years and are still really in love. I think before I was around (I'm the second youngest of 5 girls) Dad was a typical 60's husband; earnt the money and did nothing else. However he slowly learnt that he had to input if he wanted a happy household. In fact when I was born in 1979 he had a big falling out with his work to have paternity leave. He got it and kept his job

Just recently My mum dropped her Saturady shift at work ($54 an hr) 'cause she missed her week-end time with Dad

My parents had, and still have, what I believe to be the perfect marriage. They're very happy together, never argue, and always treat each other and their children and grandchildren with love, respect, optimism and good humour.

They still go travelling together and attend theatre and concerts together regularly, they would prefer to sit with a glass of wine on the balcony and chat with each other rather than watching TV, they always speak of one another with immense love and affection.

I can't remember them ever having a single argument.

My sisters and I used to joke that they'd given us the impossible goal - to find a relationship as happy and fulfilling as theirs.

Now I know they gave us a great gift; a beautiful, happy family. As a family we now live in two different countries and four different cities but we all still love getting together, can't wait to hang out with each other.

Mum and Dad have been married for 39 years and still going very strong. He still picks a flower for her whenever he's on his way in from the garden; she still writes him love notes.
Gorgeous.

My parents have been unhappily married 47 years, my father is a horrible person.

My parents divorced when I was 3yo, Dad is happily married for 25 years now while Mum is on her own after 3 failed marriages.

My parents still do have a happy marriage 32yrs down the track. They have been together for 37yrs.

They got together in high school when they were 16yr. Mum moved in with Dad's family to finish Yr12 and fell pregnant with me.

They had me when they were 19 while Dad was doing a clerkship for the NSW railway & Mum was at Nursing College.

I lived with my Mum's parents for 18mths while they finished clerkship/studies then we all moved to Sydney & they got married.

My parents had a rocky start but had the help of their families and have always instilled in us that family is important.

They still have a fantastic relationship & marriage that I have always admired & hoped for!!

Yes, they have had their fights over the years but they work through them & they are still so affentiate to each other & really enjoy each others company.

well they are still married, but they have had their issues over the years (one very bad one which still haunts me to this day)

It seems so amazing to me that people around my age have parents who are still happily married to each other. I can't even imagine how great that must be.

My parents haven't spoken to each other since mum moved me up to Qld so she could marry my stepfather when I was 8 so that's about 25 years. They fought terribly when I was a child which has completely blanked out most of my childhood memories except for them fighting.

Boo hoo...oh, well. I still like to read about other peoples blissful parents.

No, they divorced when I was 13 after 20+ years of marriage and for the last few years of that relationship I remember it as being anything BUT happy. It was like walking on egg-shells all the time and you could feel the tension. As hard as it was I was kind of pleased they separated as it was the best thing for our family. The early years of their marriage though I think were quite happy.

DH's parents on the other hand: if we are that happy after 40 years of marriage I will be thrilled. They have been through some major ups and downs (losing their son in a car accident) but it has survived and you can see the love between them.

Xiola: It is funny, I am the opposite

When I grew up only two people I knew were divorced/had divorced parents. To me as a child divorce was completely foreign, odd, different.

ETA: Actually dads two sisters separated from their husbands, but their husbands had since died so I always tended to think of them as widowed as the husbands were spoken about as dead people are spoken of, rather than ex's. Also both marriages kept making up and breaking up continually.


Of course, that changed as I became an adult, and married........ and divorced.

My husbands parents are still together, and have had a happy life together for the most part.

He was the only one out of our group of friends that had parents that weren't divorced.

My parents hated each other from the minute I was concieved I think. They were never together, apart from the obvious time. Still to this day they can't stand each other and, at 27 yrs old, I'm still in the middle.

Not really. My dad had (has) very severe clinical depression (including stints of hospitalisation) and whilst he and my mum remain good friends and there was no animosity, they separated then divorced shortly after my sister finished uni.

On one hand it would be lovely to have two parents that were still together (and happy) but my mum in particular is so much happier now than she ever was then (she has just remarried) that quite frankly I can't complain!

My parents marriage was happy at the beginning until i was about 10 yrs old. Then it went downhill. There was alot of selfishness, no communication, infidelity and awkward silences. I lived with my nanna from 14-18 because i couldnt stand my mum. It was horrific to hear of their break up when i was 14 and i feel sorry for my sisters to witness it. I think they just lost their spark and didnt want to work it out. My dad is now happily married to his current partner and mum is happy with her current man.

I believe what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
And i have learnt alot from my parents mistakes and have used it for my current relationship with my partner which our lil one will see in 8 mths, two people truely in love with each other

First 12 years were awful
Next 9 years were fantastic


Husbands parents had an unhappy marraige but are still together because (and I quote) "christians don't divorce"

My parents are still together after 33 years of marriage, and still very much in love. I see them at times with the odd touch or look and it is very sweet!

Their marriage is a lot difference to mine - in that my Dad has always been the breadwinner and taken control of all the finances etc, but Mum likes that. Mum is very fiery though, so doesn't put up with crap, but my Dad is very easy going - so they compliment each other. TBH I think they would be lost without each other.

I can just hope that DH and I are as happy in 30+ years.

Definitely a big NO here. They constantly fought, were psychically violent (my Mum hit my Dad!), didn't even share a bedroom (dad slept in the lounge on a divan) and only stayed together till my brother and I finished secondary school.

I will always a test to the fact that it would be better to grow up with two happy single parents than two miserable ones.

In saying all that they are still technically married (nearly 20 years after splitting) and get along much better as friends than they ever did when they lived together.

No, my parents divorced when I was 6.
My father was a smothering, clingy alcoholic and full-on pothead. My mother met someone else and left us for him.
I woke up one morning and my mother was gone, no goodbye:(

NO here too my parents split when i was 3 they both re-married i have seen my sperm donor maybe 5 times since then.

My mums second marriage lasted 10 years the worst years of my life and she has flitted between men ever since.

i dont see either parent now.

I just hope i can have what my grandparents had before granddad died they were in love big time and married for nearly 40 years before he died. She stayed single till she died as she said she had the love of her life and nothing would compare to that

Kerry

It's ok Sus, gives me a perfect example of what not to be like

Seriously tho, it doesn't really bother me. Lots of eye rolling on my part but mostly I just let it go. Mum met a wonderful man when I was 18m and they've been happily together ever since. So I do have a good model too

Same here. I hardly knew anyone who was divorced when I was a child. When I became a teenager I became friends with a girl who's parents were divorced. My mother was horrified and tried her best to convince me that a child from a "broken family" was not a suitable friend. (Of course, then divorce started becoming quite common and my mother realised that she couldn't veto half of our friends! )


Anyway, to my parents. They've been married 38 years. They'll never divorce. I don't think they're particularly happy or ever actually loved each other but that was never the point of their marriage, in my eyes.

They have nothing in common, except us 6 kids and 11 grandkids. The day Dad retires will be a tough one for them, as I think they'd kill each other if they have to spend too much time in each other's company.

For all of that, we had a great childhood. Yes, they fought, but my childhood memories are of happy times and stability.

Did (do) my parents have a happy marriage?
They 'pretend' to but its crap & my Dad puts up with soooo much crap from my Mum! She's a cow.

I"ll sum that up for ya:- 'NO'

Yes.

My parents have been married 31 years and they are very happy with each other. They never argued in front of us or that we could hear about. They've never said a bad word about each other and treat each other with a lot of respect.

There were happy moments but also a lot of arguments and tenseness throughout the years. It wasn't until my father became terminally ill that I saw the deep love between them which had survived despite the tough times. So, while it wasn't a 'happy' marriage per se, the love was there.

My parents were only married for a year before my dad passed away, apparently they were very different - he was easy going and fun loving, she was a worrier and uptight (I seem to have followed her footsteps )

Not sure how things would have panned out - one would like to think they would have lasted the distance.

Yes, and they still do.

huge YES here
My Mum and Dad have been married for 51 years in March and they are very happy.
My Mum had a hip replacement 3 weeks ago and the tenderness with which my Dad has been looking after her is beautiful
Of course they drive each other up the wall sometimes and they do their fair share of bickering but I have never heard them talk to each other in anger.

Yes......but there were certainly "issues"!
My dad died last year after 53 yrs of my parents being married. Both my parents worshipped the ground the other walked on and there was never any doubt of their love and commitment to each other.....
However, dad was a WW2 vet with PTSD (post traumatic stress Disorder) and depression.....and this led to him being a binge alcoholic. BUT - although he would get violent looking for booze (if we foolishly tried to hide it from him) he NEVER touched mum or was violent towards us. Actually, that was a big part of his problem - he was the ultimate pacifist and gentle, kind person and I think he just never really came to terms with the fact that he had killed people It just tore him apart mentally.

STill - he was the MOST wonderful father and husband when he wasn't drinking and our home was filled with laughter, love and great times to be had by all

Truth is - if dad hadn't met mum, he probably would have drank himself to death by the time he was 40yrs old.....through her support and love, he lived to see 84yrs of age Right to the end he stated that meeting mum was the best thing that ever happened to him and he was the luckiest man on earth.....but it wasn't all one sided - mum loved him to bits and sacrificed a LOT to marry him (he was a struggling, country bloke....mum a rich society lass who could have married BIG money if she'd wanted to)

My fondest memories of childhood is going to bed at night and hearing my parents chatting happily and discussing "the world" and life.....they always had tons to talk about, were very interested in world and life events....drifting off to sleep hearing their voices..... They always loved each others company and despite mum saying he drove her mad - they hated being apart for any length of time.

My hbs parents are also still together and clearly (as nutty as WE think they are...LOL) love each other to bits after nearly 45 yrs. They too have had some hard times adn "issues" but we could never doubt their love and affection for each other.

Both couples have left us a lot to live up to I guess.....but I think the biggest gift both sets of parents gave us, is the knowledge and examples that it is certainly possible to love and commit to another person for a lifetime....and be happy with that.

T

My parents split up when I was 10.

For ONE week.

They have been together ever since, and celebrated their 30th anniversary in December.

Not me!

Yes . Unfortunately my dad passed away at age 32. I wish he had been alive longer for soooo many reasons, one of which is that mum adored him so much and he adored her. I was only 8 when he died, but I can clearly remember how much they meant to each other.