Welcome to the Lo-Fi, text only version of Essential Baby's forums.

The Essential Baby forums cover all areas of parenting and stages development for babies, toddlers and kids as well as parenting lifestyle areas including Family Travel, Finances, Nutrition & Wellbeing, Recipes and more! If you'd like to post and interact with EB's parenting forums read more articles about conception, pregnancy, babies, toddlers, kids or more please visit Essential Baby for the full site experience.
Home - Become a Member - Login - Forums
Full Version: Advice needed please
HOME | CONCEPTION | PREGNANCY | BIRTH | BABY | TODDLER | KIDS | LIFESTYLE | TOOLS

Essential Kids > Miscarriage, Stillbirth & the Loss of a Child > Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss
C~Star
Hi everyone,

I found out 8 days ago that my baby had died and I was a day off being 9 weeks pregnant. I have two healthy girls and have never experienced a miscarriage before so this is all new to me. I saw my doctor the day after the ultrasound who recommended that I see if nature will take its course because a D&C is such an invasive experience. Being absolutely petrified of going into hospital and being put to sleep for the procedure, I opted to see if things would happen naturally and they haven't. I am still spotting every day and every time I get slight cramping or go to the loo I think this may be it. Its constantly on my mind. I am scared of what people have described naturally miscarrying like (heavy uncontrollable bleeding and extreme labour type cramps) and also the possibility of everything not coming away and causing infection. I am going back to see my Doc on Monday and I'm guessing he will arrange for me to be booked in for the D&C as things have not progressed. I guess what I am asking here is...how long can things be left before they become bad for your health? i.e infection etc? I am so petrified of being put to sleep that its causing me to delay the D&C. I am seriously scared of not waking up! I know women everyday have the procedure done but I still can't get my head around it.

If anyone can give me some advice on what to do, that would be wonderful.
happy2bme
Hi,

Im so sorry for your loss - i also lost my baby this week.

I too was scared about having a d&c. My GP sent me to the hospital to organise one however when I got to the hospital the hospital dr gave me 3 options - d&c, natural & medical. The medical one is 3 tablets taken all at once & this helps speed along the miscarriage. The dr recommended the medical option for me because my baby died at 6weeks & was only 12mm so very small. A d&c for me would be difficult as my uterus is tilted & of course as it is surgery there are more risks.

I did the medical option, I took the tablets at around 7.30 on Tuesday night & by the time I went to bed (10.30ish) I had passed "the product" cry1.gif

I didnt know that there was the medical option of the tablets. I havent had an excessive bleeding or cramps. Bad Cramps are a side effect & the dr gave me a script for panadine forte however I havent needed it. I need to go back to the hospital & get checked to make sure all of "the product" has passed.

Just thought I would throw another option in for you. All the best with your decision. Its not an easy time & my thoughts are with you hhugs.gif.
C~Star
happy2bme, thank you SO SO much for your reply. I'm really sorry to hear of your loss and hope you are okay.

I have never heard of the medical option either and its given me hope that there is another way to avoid the D&C. I know the whole experience won't be nice but I'm prepared for that.

Thanks again for letting me know. I will chat to my doc on Monday about the tablets and see what he recommends.

Take care.
puggy
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I have had 3 D&C's due to miscarriage and another 2 for other issues and I just wanted to reassure you that although it is normal to be frightened of an anathestic, it is so mild for a D&C. I have also had general anathestics for other operations and the ones given for my D&C's were much milder and not as scary. You are only under for about 20 mins, even less sometimes. Infact with one of mine, my husband walked to the local coffee shop as I was taken into theatre and he hadn't even finished his coffee and my Ob arrived to get his own coffee. He was shocked and said what's happening with my wife and the Ob said, it's all over took less than 15 minutes.


I have also had another miscarriage after my DD was born and it was a natural one and for me, I preferred the D&C as atleast I knew it was complete and my body was ready to concieve again once my mind was.

Good luck with whatever option you choose and take care
lorri38
I am so sorry you have found yourself and your family in this situation.

I havent heard of the medial option before. I have had 3 m/c's - two were D&C's and one natural.

My natural one was very early in the pregnancy and was like a late period, just heavier, the other two were both the 8/9 week mark and heaps heavier and more mentally draining cause they were dragged on for over a week with the "am i going to lose it or not" scenario.

I went from a week of spotting and started to natuarally m/c with my last pregnancy but still had retained product when i went to A&E and then had the option to wait it out or have a D&C. I didnt want to have an operation but after what i had already experienced that day, a D&C was a walk in the park so to say.

I would recommend it over having a natural m/c anyday. It is scary, it does have risks, but trust me heaps easier on you mentally then the other option. Also, your body will return to 'normal' quicker.

Whatever your choice, i wish you all the best and most of all, be kind to yourself.
smokey123
Hi

i had am/c in December on the first day of my holidays overseas (what a way to start!), I immediately went to the hospital and requested a D&C (after they had confirmed via u/s that i was having a m/c) as I didnt want to have heavy bleeding during my holiday.

it was a completely non-invasive procedure i was put to sleep using a mild sedative (no anesthetic) and 20 minutes later i woke up.
i was a little groggy and had very light bleeding for 5 days and that was it.

having spoken to friends who had natural m/c, I am VERY glad I had a D&C but then I guess it is a personal choice and everyone has different experiences
C~Star
Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to me.

I think deep down I want the whole process over with so when I visit the doctor Monday, I will discuss it with him then. Its frustrating still having the pregnancy symptoms -massive (.)(.) so the sooner I feel back to normal the better.

We are also going on holidays in a few weeks so I'd like to have this sorted out before we go rather than have to worry about it while away.

Thanks again for your replies, I really appreciate it.

Take care.
GreenGrass
I'm currently in the process of making the decision of having a d&c or waiting 8 days for another scan to check things out (which I've been warned probably won't be a good out come anyway.. my hcg levels aren't real good and dropping)...

In the mean time I've started spotting this morning.. pretty much gone now.. but already having had a miscarriage and even though I passed everything ok.. I'm soo scared to see it all again.. I'm very keen to have a d&c this time round.. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle seeing what could have been.. I'm also scared that being a blighted ovum and possibly already being deceased for a over a week, I'm affraid that my body won't rid of everything and I'll end up having a d&c again..

Hang in there... you'll know what's right..
~Peaches~
C~Star I'm so sorry for your loss sad.gif I was just popping in to see how your appointment went yesterday? unsure.gif I hope you're feeling comfortable with the decision that you had to make. It's not very nice either way I'm sure.
I found out at 8 weeks that my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks cry1.gif My body didn't seem to be doing anything to start 'moving on' so I was terrified I'd need a D&C too. I had an appointment with the early pregnancy care at the hospital last tuesday when I would've been 9 weeks and they also told me about the 3 tables you can take, so at least there is another option. I started to M/C naturally that day though and was so frightened of how it was going to be after reading some of the stories on here that some ladies have had to go through sad.gif But it wasn't as bad as I thought, I've finished bleeding now (about 6 days all up) and I'll find out on thursday if the M/C is 'complete' at my next appointment. I'm sure every experience is different though and I was just 'lucky' for it to not be too horrible sad.gif
Anyway, I just wanted to see how you are going. Hope you're feeling ok, well as well as can be expected in this horrible time hhugs.gif
Lots of wub.gif to you and your family.
harrison~at~last
I had a D&C this morning and it's he best choice I could have made.

I had spotting on Sat, Sun and Mon, and found out Mon afternoon that there was no h/b (I should have been 9w 2d and baby was measuring 6w 4d). I thought I'd let it go naturally, flooded Mon night and thought that was it. Yesterday afternoon I got EXTREME pain (contractions) and pain only stopped after 20mg/ml morphine and 4 Panadeine Forte tablets. So had D&C (very quick and only twilight sedation) and no pain at all now, and I know I can move on without checking the toilet every trip for 'product' which to me would be worse.

A different hospital yesterday did give me the tablets, but they made the cramps even worse, and the maternity hospital I ended up at were outraged that I'd been given these tablets and sent home as you're supposed to be very careful of haemmoraghing (sp??) and pain management!
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Essential Baby is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby.