I know we are in a recsession.... Its hard enough to make ends meet.

Just been on the phone to DH who is stressing over money. He never stress'es excpet when it comes to money...

We do not overspend, we do not buy luxeries,never go out.

Sure we have a credit card which we use for things say if the car needs some work on it...and other unplanned things.

We have a house and that is our main concern to pay it off within 15 years.

DH has a good job and pay. When he gets home most of it goes to the house,the rest goes to groceries, kids ELC fees, insurance (house, health and car),tithes (we attend church),and the rest would go to paying off the credit card).

How can one cut back when there is nothing you can cut back on.

He is embrassed and ashamed that he just can't find the solution. Its hard as l try my hardest and never pay full price on things, shop on ebay for the kids clothes, buy in op shops etc...

All we want is to pay off the house and the kids to ahve a good education (haven't even started school yet).

Whats the secret.

I told him to talk to his dad (a huge step for him) and ask how they did it, or get some advice. He is not really close to his dad, and this is hard for him but surely his dad has knowledge as they had their house paid of early and surely have some advice.

I come from a family who struggled and missed out on a lot (due to poor health in the family) and do not want that for my kids or still be struggling when l am in my 50s.

I feel for him as he is the main bread winner at the moment and has all this pressure on him.

Doesn't help he was denied his bonus last year which he was due (long story) so l think that doesn't help his logic of thinking either....

Sorry just had to get it out...

Do you not have enough after paying everything?

If so, not enough money for what? luxuries or things you need?

Is there any way you can cut back on groceries?

Change your mobile plan and/or house phone plan?

Find things around the house that you no longer need and sell them on ebay.



That's good, but make sure you are buying things when you need them not just when you see something nice that you like.

You can also cut down on your tithes. How much are you giving?

If you can't give for a while it's ok. Don't feel bad about it. It sure is an area in which you can cut back a little though if you decide.

What exactly are you hoping your FIL tells your husband?

In a sense we do but would be great to put some money aside in a savings account.

This is one area we fail on... we do colesonline great as it saves money but l need to spend more time on the menu plan and buy what l need so l am not needing extra trips to the supermarket to stock up on the things l forgot or the impulse buying

have done that.... DH always gets the cheapest and best deals.

I do that with the kids clothes and now DD has gone to a bed time to sell the baby items....


I do a bit of both... buy things in bigger sizes at the end of summer and winter sales and put them aside... do not use our income but use the money the government gives us (family tax benefit or whatever it is called).

10% as what we are called to give.

Not sure what l want FIl to tell DH... give us some $$$ (just kidding)... would love some advice and knowledge from him seeing he has been there and what works and what doesn't.

My DS starts school in 2011 and trying to decide if we can afford the school we want to send him to.

Also the things l buy for the kids ie clothes,shoes,nappies all come from the government money l get each fortnight. what l don't spend is put into their bank account. Also putting some aside for them for Christmas.... And any loose change goes into a piggy bank and put into the kids account. Had $50 worth of $2 coins for DD the other day... she will not get access to this till she is at least 18 (well both kids).

Did not start off the year well as DH did not get his pay rise nor his bonus which he was due both and that would have been used for family christiams presents and birthday presents... Kids had a $50 gift each and then had to buy family presents....

Then mothers day (for 3 mums inlucing me), and about 6 birthdays to buy for... i need to get organised and find things on sale during the year and put them aside... hard when the time comes and there are so many to buy for...

but thanks for the advice.

How have we coped? Well I've had to go back to work 2 days a week. That's REALLY eased things for us.

As much as it wouldn't be that nice to do, would you consider working a day or two a week? There are so many jobs you could do out of normal hours, it would just mean some sacrificing of your time with your DH.

There's nightfill at supermarkets, cleaning jobs, clerical work that could be done at home or if you're ok with putting the kids into care a day or two, try for a traditional hours job.

I found that we were able to afford to put the kids into family daycare 2 days a week and we were still better off. Our FTB dropped but it was still worthwhile me going back to work.

Plus because I'm earning not a great deal, pretty much most of the money I have paid in tax I will see again at the end of next month.

We have stripped our budget back to the bare bones and it's hard, but we know that it's only for a few years. We had visions of paying off our house in 5 years, but 4 years into the 5.... umm nope. Not a chance. We've extended it to 10 years so 6 more to go.

Anyway. It's good to have goals, but sometimes it is just keeping your head above water. Once you're finished having kids and they're closer to school age, things will get easier.

It's tough itsn't it!! The best thing I ever did was join a budgeting company. It costs me $100 each month but has helped me sort out a budget that works well and allows me to save for christmas, school fees and the money for tithing and any thing else I need. It might be worth just chatting to them to see if they could help you?? That way it may take some pressure off your DH!

Hope it all works out for you.

I will be going back to work next year. I worked as a nurse in aged care.. just would not work now as the money l would earn would pay for the kids care.

We have finished having kids... 2 is enough... and l know in the long run things are better off....

It sucks that DH is in a well paying job and we do all the right things but still struggle... but then better then lashing out and being in a bigger debt....

Dh has his head screwed on but do not like him thinking this is hard and feeling guilty

There is your savings right there! Find a less needy church.

I guess how I cope with having a budget is really wanting the goals that I/we have set.

Then whenever I am tempted to buy something or spend money, I remember what we are aiming for, and this usally inspires me to keep to the budget we have agreed upon.

It sounds like you have a strict budget rather than sruggling with making ends meet? I mean, if your aiming to pay your house of in 15 years, that is great!

I guess if just takes a while for some goals to be met... and this just takes time.

I can't give much advice and won't comment on everything, but I wouldn't be putting 'leftover' FTB into your children's bank accounts for a start, nor the loose change. Things like food, electricity and housing are costs of children too, put the 'leftover' into your other household expenses. Same for your loose change. Any pocketmoney you give them later on the kids can put into their bank accounts if you teach them to do so. If you have paid off your mortgage in 15 years, you can help them out financially yourselves once they are 18 so putting large chunks of money that you need now into their accounts seems like a bit of overkill.

--Rodent

that has nothing to do with it... All tithes are 10% to which ever church you go to... and thats not the point....

Julia that is so true and we are good with what we spend. I guess b'c l had that drummed into me as a kid. Dad was very strict with money as we had so little but both my mum and sister were spenders... l only buy somehting if l need it and will usually ahem and ah about it even if it is $2.. most of the time l walk out without it.

We just want to pay the house off so the kids have a better future and we are there more to help them out when they are our age (if they need it). And l want it more as l have seen what it did to my parents and do not want the same thing.

Sucks that a lot of our income pays the house off (would be cheaper to rent) but need that too means that our house will be ours a lot sooner.

rodent i can see what you mean but when l say leftover it is literally $2 or $4 here and there and the odd 20cents that is lying around... This is money we plan to give to the kids when they either marry,want to buy a car,or if they need somehting in life. Also money they get from relatives goes in there too. It is somehting l wished my folks had done when l was a kid...plus their pocket money will go in there too if they choose to do so.

10% of what? Your DH's take home pay per week? So if he brings home $750/week net then you give $75/week to your church??
Umm honestly that is your savings. Surely in this day and age any church would understand if you cannot contribute for a little while. If they don't then it is not very church like or charitable.

I think those who are seeing this as a saving are forgetting that you need to give to receive. Sure it would *save* the OP some money, but I am sure that she doesn't begrudge giving the money because it's something she believes in and WANTS to do.

OP, I respect your 10% tithing, ignore those who don't understand, that is not an area to consider.
Perhaps you can reconsider your goal to pay the house off in 15 years. Does it really matter that much whether it is paid off in 15 vs. 20 years? Perhaps in 5 years time if you slow down your rate of payment now, you will have more accessible income to speed it up again - plus wages will only increase in the future....

I agree with ellepen. Im sure the church would understand that even if you just cut back the about given, just to get some savings started. instead of 10% make it 5% for a few months put that money in the bank and when thing get better go back up to the 10%.

Times are getting tougher. As people have said even with a good income we are all feeling it. All we can do is ride it out.

I don't think I understand what it is that your DH is stressing about? Are you actually struggling to pay the bills? Or is it that you aren't putting any savings away?

If your DH is really stressed now, then maybe you need to reassess your priorities. Can you ease back on the house payments for a couple of years until the kids are at school and you're working? I know you want to pay your house off sooner, but is it worth the stress now?

I'm not a church-goer so I'm not sure what the rules are, but does everyone always tithe 10%? What if you can't pay or bills? Surely if a family can't afford groceries then they can't pay 10% to the church??

TBH, I have never really got this panic about wanting to pay your home loan off really early if it means you're struggling with everything else.

Even just paying what we have to pay (but doing it fortnightly), we will pay our loan off in 22 years instead of the 30 it's been taken out for. I'd rather have some cash for the here and now than live on two minute noodles and pay the loan off ultra quick.

I also can't see where the problem is. You are a family with a SAHM paying your bills, mortgage and keeping food on the table. If you didn't pay tithe (and its your decision regardless of my opinion) then you would be putting away at least $75 a week in savings. A lot of people would kill to be in your position, relax and enjoy your life.

Surely if you are desperate then your church will make allowances for you? (I'll be honest and say I have no idea of the consequences or significant impact this would mean to your family)

I also think that spending money on things like groceries and bills now are far more important then putting money in your child's 'piggy' bank for now.

So would you consider working out side of the house, maybe a few days a week so it would cover and go above what you'd pay for childcare? or have a relative look after your children whilst you worked? on a temp basis?

Good luck OP

thank you thevermins that is right it is somehting we do as we want to do it and believe in it as part of being a christian (but not the point here). But anyhow won't go there.


thank you.

I think DH is stressing as he works hard get his pay and then it is gone before he knows it on bills,house payments,etc.... the house is the main concern and we want it paid off. Thats the #1 thing. We have budgeted to allow for all these things and now trying to budget for when it comes to the kids and schooling....

We are not living off 2 min noodles as such but need to watch how we are budgeting before we get to that stage....

I have to agree with a couple of posts, if things are that desparate surely deciding to pay off the house in 20 years rather than 15 is not silly.

Also, as much as tithing is a great thing, I am not sure if giving to the church so you then need charity from the church seems a logical thing to do.

Ignoring tithing (it's personal belief, we wouldn't cut it back either, don't worry you're not alone )

I honestly don't see the problem either. My DH was really stressed about money when we couldn't afford a car, bills were late and food had to be compromised so we could pay rent

Which sounds a little unrealistic given the circumstances you've written about.

Maybe easing off on the 'wanting to get the mortgage paid off asap!' might be the way to go, to ensure schooling future needs are covered, at least until the kids are at school and you can get back into the work force if you so chose to do so.

Paying a mortgage off early isn't a prize. Well done to those that can, but comfort, and maybe savings if your DH is stressing about not having any, might make life a little less stressful for now.

I think that it comes down to what you choose to make your number 1 concern.

If your number 1 concern is paying off the house in 15 years, then that's fine. But you'll need to accept the negatives that might come with that - your DH being stressed, struggling to pay the kids school fees etc.

If you choose to move paying off the house down your priority list a little (just temporarily), then it might alleviate some of the stress elsewhere?

So just make the choice that is right for you now - it doesn't mean you can't change it when circumstances change in a couple of years time.

As a PP has said, you're very fortunate to have a choice.

I don't understand why you are stressing? you are choosing to put more on your home loan then you have to. You are choosing to give your church 10% of your earnings, and you are able to put money aside for your children's future, what is the problem?

How do I cope? I prioritize and if that means paying less on our mortgage to keep ahead on bills, that is what we do.

My children have a bank account each where Birthday money ect goes, I just let the accounts earn interest, and a few years from now hopefully we can add to their accounts but it makes no sense to me to struggle when there is money sitting there not needed for the next 18 years!

I read the budgeting thread last week and immediately set up this...

http://www.savingsguide.com.au/wp-content/...thly-budget.xls

It's great. I made some minor changes to the layout but found hundreds of dollars on paper that immediately helped me to realise I'm not as poor as how I feel.

If you want to pay the mortgage off asap then you could try either offsetting your mortgage with your weekly income or find more income. There are loads of good EB ideas about how to find more money. You've just gotta look! All the best!

\\


Dont take this the wrong way, but I think you need to decide what you want and when. Many people now find themselves in positions where they cant have the house paid off in 15 years. Its not so bad having the mortgage longer if you think maybe school is a better investment now. It is just about priority.

Shopping with Coles online is convenient but works out to be more expensive than going to the actual store. Lot's of mums on here buy in bulk and save themselves you could have a look at some of the threads in managing money.

FOr us if things got tight I would go back to work. Even if it meant stacking shelves at night.

Perhaps you could do a few shifts on weekends or night when your husband can mind the kids.

The only way to save is to cut back on something or make more money and you don't seem interested in doing either.



Wouldn't you be better off to just save the $100 a month yourself for christmas and stuff?

I also wanted to post that if you're concerned about school fees then perhaps it's a good idea to look at your options and investigate scholarships and bursaries. Perhaps you can find a good public school to send your DS to prior to enrolling at the preferred school. Loads of parents do this and it gives you a bit of extra breathing space. You never know where you'll be in 6+ years when it comes to finances. Also consider asking the grandparents to contribute to schooling costs - I know a few parents who have done this.

Do people seriously do this?? I wouldn't dream of asking either of my parents for that sort of financial help...

How do we cope - well we can't afford to buy a house so we rent, and I work 3 days a week. I think if you can afford to buy a house at all then you are fortunate. We will not be in a position to buy a house until our children have left home.

There was an article recently in SMH about how much in outstanding school fees were owed to some of the major schools and one of the accountants said that people would be surprised at the numbers of grandparents paying for school fees. My grandparents contributed to ours when my father was bankrupted...

I can totally understand grandparents offering to pay school fees - I think that's a wonderful gesture. But that's completely different to asking them to pay. What an awful position to put them in! It'd be bloody hard for them to say no when it's for their grandkids...

Argh!

I saw my parents struggle with this for many years and it has made me very bitter and cynical about organised religion ...

The churches claim the 10% tithe based on a Jewish custom that was initiated in the days before income tax and when the synagogues were the only form of social governance. It is NOT required of parishioners to give 10% of their pre-tax income these days because Levite priests don't run the show anymore. Just as you are not required to go and sacrifice your first-born bulls or destroy the Amalekites. Anyone who harps on about it, and I know they do just about every second sermon, is just interested in the racket that getting 10% off of everyone, week in and week out, means. It is not a commandment. Remember Jesus' reaction to the woman who gave just two pennies and the rich man who gave many.

I would reduce the tithe.

Well, if the choice was my DH running the risk of a heart attack/nervous breakdown and paying off the homeloan in 20 years instead of 15, I know what my choice would be...

But hey, your family, your choice. In our house having both parents happy and spending time with the children matters more than speeding up paying off the loan.

Wow--When people choose to pay off houses faster, they are making owning a house over other choices- ie maybe paying for more expensive education.

You just sometimes cant have it all. Thats the problem with lots of people- they want it all but dont want to sacrifice other things.

There are lots of education choices in public schools etc that are great. Personally if I was paying off my house , I would never consider that someone else paying for other expesnes.

I have to agree with the others. You need to decide whats more important to you and your family. The stress and heartache of having the goal - which seems unachievable in your current position - or changing the goal posts to suit your current situation.

I'm wasn't going to comment on the tithing thing but so many families here in NZ are in so much trouble becuase of the fundamentalist churches (and in the main they are that claim the tithe - no Catholic church nor Uniting Church I've ver been involved in have asked for a set tithe) One woman here died as she and her family believed it was more important to tithe then to pay the electicity bill. Too bad then she was on a ventalitor that required electricity to run - she died. I do wonder where the church was for her then.

Percy, that's terrible!

Like most people, I'm struggling to see the problem. It's all relative though, I guess.

Hi OP,

Some practical tips from what I can garnish from your post:
- Stop using Colesonline, it's more expensive than an actual coles store. Perhaps try grocery shopping at night while your DH looks after the kiddies, alot of supermarkets reduce pricing during the evenings.
- Look into an 100% offset facility on your homeloan, it may cost initially to set it up but you should be able to add this cost to your mortgage balance. Any money you have in your account/accounts is taken into account before interest is calculated. This feature itself can cut years off your homeloan without you actually paying off any additional in principle.
- Ask grandparents/family to contribute to kid's lessons eg. swimming etc instead of buying material things for birthday's/christmas.
- Look at paying off the mortgage in 20yrs rather than 15yrs, especially if schooling fees are yet to kick in down the track.

Regarding the tithing, yes I agree it's something Christians are called to do, however I would keep in mind that Christian charity encompasses a lot more than just giving 10% of your income to your church, so if times are tough why can you not cut down on the % of tithing and at the same time take up other acts of charity that calls you to give your time and care to the needy/sick/poor?

Last but not least, pray and ask God to assist your family to trust in Him. He will give you all that you need .

op, fortnightly shopping (without kids), meat from a wholesaler, fruit and veg from local markets, or better still grow your own. I would think the online coles thing would be more expensive?? meal planning is important, home baking, cook your own takeaway on weekends. The other things i was thinking you do already, the ebay thing and second hand clothing.

we tithe aswell so i get you there.

I would think your dh needs to stress less and try not to worry. Especially because the man upstairs promises to give you everything you need, and you are doing everything you can to be a wise steward of you finances.

To be honest, weve got a 30 yr loan for our house, and i like it that way, no stress to pay extra and we still will be well off in my opinion.

If things got really tight, then I wouldnt hesitate to go back to work full-time. Meal-plans really help too with keeping spending under control.

Instead of asking grandparents to help with school fees etc, Id be asking them if they could kindly do a bit of babysitting on a regular/semi-regular basis to help you get out and get some paid employment. Are you considering a private school education for your kids? Just wondering - is there something seriously wrong with the public schools in your area?

You really need to think long and hard about the priorities. Have a partner who is working his nose to the ground...give to the church when you are both feeling financially stressed..having goals of paying off your home loan in x years when it is adding stress to your family life...education for your children that is going to cost a fair bit which you feel like you may need financial assistance with - seriously - something has got to give.

Everyone has to make some financial/lifestyle sacrifices to have what they want. At the end of the day, adding another 5 years to the life of your mortgage may mean far less stress over 20 years than the amount of stress you may experience over 15 years.

I have to agree with other people and suggest that when times are tough, that tithing is considered on personal cicumstances. I went to a church with a 10% tithing policy, but we didn't have the finances to tithe 10% due to $6000 medical bills every year and only one income so we donated a about 1% and I volunteered. In volunteering, I contributed the equivalent of about $15,000 a year in working hours at a charity. Not all churches tithe. The catholic church do not tithe. I also consider that we are probably tithing a lot of welfare through taxes. I respect your ability to tithe in your circumstances.