http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25873710-421,00.html

I grew up in the country, so it wasn't uncommon for students to leave at Yr 7 or 10 to board in the city. But to board when your parents live 250m from the school?

My parents sent me to boarding school. It was an hour and a half from home. There would have to be plenty of money to pay for boarding when they could just live up the road. Unless the parents are too lazy to cook!

I read that article this morning and was just discussing it with my mother.

I have to say, it's not something I would consider. Then again, I wouldn't consider boarding school anyway, pretty much under any circumstances I can currently think of.

I grew up in a culture where the "well-to-do" all sent their kids to elite boarding schools in the UK. I went to the local government high school and socialised with the boarding school lot during the holidays. I know many of them enjoyed it, and some certainly excelled academically, however there were kids at my school (myself included) who got equally good O'level and A'level results as those who flew back and forth across the Atlantic 8 times a year!

I really don't get why you would board your children living that close to the school. I'm sure there are career-minded parents who may have to travel for work and all that, but it's not for me.

There were other families mentioned in the article who lived further away, but still in the same city, and the kids would be home for the weekend. That's still not something I would advocate for my own family, but I suppose I can understand it given commute times and all that.

There's something terribly sad about having your children living under another roof in the same city 5 nights per week.

I went to boarding school for 6 years and I understand how this can be beneficial, in some circumstances, but I wouldn't do it.
We didn't have any weekly boarders.
I can see how it balances work/play.

.. is to have given up mostly on the notion of active involved parenting!

And no - I am not talking about children who live in the country blah blah blah

Teenagers can get up to a lot if there is little supervision so if parents are working long corporate hours and travel regularly for business, it is probably preferable to send the kids to boarding school.

Too old for ASC yet too young to spend hours alone in the evening.

Saves the kids coming home to an empty house and dealing with the dinner/homework/bed routine themselves??

My bestfriends son goes to an upmarket private school that also offers board.
One of his friends boards full-time even though his parents live in the next suburb.
They are busy professionals so I guess wouldn't be home much anyway.
But here is the worst part, he isn't welcome home even on weekends.....

I'm not sure Joeys is such a good example, as my recollection is that it is only a boarding school. Ie. if you want to go to the school, you have to board.

My first boyfriend was a boarder at an upper North Shore (Sydney) GPS school. His family lived about 45 mins away, they just didn't want to parent him. It was quite sad and he certainly felt unloved, although boys don't express those emotions. Many of his friends were in the same boat. Some from divorced parents, others not. Whilst the school did well academically, the boarders did particularly badly, except for a few international students.

His experience certainly turned me off boarding for my girls but I have heard more positive stories.

At Joeys in Sydney (the school in the article), day boys don't leave the school until 8.00pm at night (that is all students - it is the school rules). They get there around 7.30ish i think, go to school, do their after school activities, study, dinner and then get to go home. It was only recently the school allowed day boys and used to be a borders only school.

ps - i only know this because BIL would like to send his kids there one day as it has the highest number of wallabies graduate from it!!!

My ex boyfreind (a long time ago) went to a Brisbane private school as a boarder and his parents lived in the next suburb PLUS his Mum was a stay at home Mum, his Dad was a very busy professional.....but still. It was so they (his brother too) could concentrate on their studies

We had a couple of boarders whose parents lived in the same city. Not exactly 250m from the school but definitely in a 10km radius.

They were weekly boarders. Their parents could afford it, they were mainly friends with us boarders (even when they were dayscholars), and the bottom line was, the kids just wanted to. I guess it worked for them.

That's my DH's story exactly (actually, when I read that I wondered if you were talking about my DH ). Definitely not something I would choose for my boys and I can't say that I understand it, but it didn't seem to mess my DH up too badly. Having said that, I still think it's a very strange thing to do.

If both the parents and child believe it would benefit the child's education then why not? You would have to be pretty well off financially. I don't believe having a child as a weekly border equates to abdicating your parenting role.

If the parents work long hours I can see how the children might want to board. At least then they'd have people to socialise with at night.

I do agree though that this school is a bad example.

NMS but don't have any problems with it at all.

I went to boarding school, but by Years 11 and 12 I had become a day student. TBH I desperately wanted to go back to boarding for those final 2 years and I can totally understand why a family might choose to have their child boarding when they live nearby.

Boarding worked so well with school life. There was no "slot" out of or into "school mode" - you were in school mode for the entire term. Everything was done on a program or schedule, and they generally made sure the schedules fit. So sporting teams were given meals to suit game/training times, music lessons fitted in with allocated homework time, free time balanced with study time etc. It just "worked".

And while I hated it for the early high school years, I think it would be quite suitable for the final years of high school. Particuarly for someone who is aiming for a high Year 12/ Uni entrance score. Being able to concentrate entirely on school-related things and not have "outside life" get in the way would be an ideal way to achieve a high score in the final exams.

hmmm not a bad idea...off to pack the boys bags right now!!!

Never for me. I have children because I want to spend time with them and be involved with the activities of their life, every day, not just on weekends. I would never work in a job that meant I was not around on week nights to see my precious darlings.

DH has just said it sounds tempting! (DS is being a cranky sod)

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Agree. Infact I find the earlier assumption both ignorant and offensive

We're sending DD to board, living 100km away from the school. Why? Because we don't care to have her sitting in a car for 4 hours a day. And we don't care to restrict her educational opportunities to the only local highschool, which has a woeful attendance and performance record.

I am not sure where I stand on this. We are sending our DS1 to boarding school for Year 11 &12, but we live thousands of KM's away from the boarding school. We did look into sending him from year 8 (but due to school bullying, that has since been resolved) He is only 13, I still enjoy him being here. I know I will eventually have to let him go lol.

But yeah, seems strange. I guess it really does not matter, although I think country/remote students should be given the boarding 'spot' over city/people who live down the street.

I like the Montessori Erdkinder model which is farm boarding during some of the secondary years. I would send my kids without a doubt if it were an option.
Although DS will be going on to a secondary college that is not Montessori there is still a possibility that he will have the opportunity to have some boarding experience similar to an Erdkinder.

It has nothing to do with not wanting to parent our children and everything to do with giving them a wonderful experience. Also being free to follow the stages of development and acknowledging that some teens go through the stage of wanting to be with their peers while rebelling against their parents.

The school I went to had boarders and by all accounts they loved the experience.

Id like to be able to afford private school for DD when she is in high school, and i really dont mind the idea of her boarding during the week when shes in yr 10/11/12. I think it would be a great way for her to keep focus. Shame it costs so much, we probably wont able to afford $28000 a yr, ever. Maybe ill just resort to locking her in her room each afternoon and installing a cat flap for food like the dursley's, thats enough to keep her focused on school instead of boys and tv right?

I think that boarding school may be very good for some students.
I was a day student at a boarding school and was so envious of boarders. I also don't believe that by sending your child to boarding school you are giving up parenting or that you will have a poorer relationship with your child. Some of my friends who were boarders were very close to their parents!

In another situation I was a student teacher at a primary school that had boarders once.
There was a five year old at the time boarding from the country. Still very sad even though it must have been necessary.
In the class I taught there was one child whose parents were restaurant owners from a town two hours away. They were busy of a night, so the ten year old was in boarding school. She went home many weekends. Another case whas that of a ten year old boy whose parents were engaged in a bitter custody dispute, so was agreed that he be in boarding school until they could work out a solution. He alternated weekends with the different parents.
Some of the primary school boarders had families living in PNG, so it was safer for them to be in Australia. Others were from the country. Most of the boarders were in upper primary getting ready for high school.
The one job I hated was proof reading their letters home. Felt like such an invasion of privacy. We had to correct errors so they could be re-written.
Most of the kids though seemed happy and the school had a great reputation.

HairyMaclary - When I saw yous reply (and then your sig) I thought....mmmm maybe but then I remembered that I am now (as would he be) 34. Also he has 2 DD's so I think your DH is off the hook Care to share what school it was ??

Many of my friends (country folk) went to boarding school and loved it.

However if you live in the same suburb and send your child to be a boarder I think that is different. In some cases there could be a risk of sending the message to your kid of "I could be more involved, but for whatever reason, I choose not to be." I'd hope the child was actively involved in the decision.

DH & I were both boarders (me for 5 years, him for 3) and we are both rather sad that our children won't get to experience boarding school. We both loved every minute of our time there and have still managed to have strong bonds with our parents.



Really? They did this? Our letters were never proof read. What a horrible invasion of privacy.

I used to live up the road from 'Joeys'. My parents are still in the house I grew up in. It's only recently that they've changed their policies to allow day students, and weekly boarders. The options are offered on a distance away from school basis. That is, if the student lives within a certain radius they can attend daily, going home after dinner. A certain radius further afield they can attend weekly, going home for weekends. And then there's the standard style of term boarding.

I can see how coming home after dinner would have it's appeal with late-working parents and no other supervision available at home. I couldn't have my kids boarding weekly or otherwise. We're going to sell our house and move closer to better high school specifically to avoid this problem.

Malcolm and Lucy Turnbull did it with their kids.

Just another reason I don't like him.

I know of a family who pretty much live next door to the school where their children board. The kids come home in the afternoon with their friends for afternoon tea and then head back to school. I don't understand this scenario.

There are a lot of generalisations flying around.

It doesn't matter weather you live 250m or 1.5hrs or 5hrs from school & board. Every family has different work situations and family issues going on that most would have no idea about. Not everyone has a SAHM & a dad who walks in the door at 6pm. If I was working full time (8am-7pm in my world) I would not like to think of my 11/12YO year 7 boy travelling 1.5 hours from home to school to an empty house. This is what I did as a kid & I hated it.
This is a realistic amount of travelling time to & from school for a heck of a lot of kids in Sydney I can assure you!

I think Joeys have got it right. No kids sitting around in empty homes for hours before working parents get home. That can lead to all sorts of trouble! Keeping kids at school for after school sports/activities/home work / dinner & then home time. Brilliant! Shows how they are thinking progressively & recognise the need for it & can see how family's working situation & dynamicis have changed since the 1950's. Best of both worlds really.

We live in the city & whereever we send DS to highschool he's going to have to travel for at least 45mins on public transport & I suspect that'd be on a good day.

There are a lot of positives to boarding school. I'm sure there are some parents who ahve no interest in their kids & that's why they board but I think they are few & far between.

I was a day student at a jesuit boarding school. Can't say I thought much of it. Cost $$$, they kicked me out. I encountered many of my "Old mates" (Read monied up bullies) when leaving 12/24hr 4/4 shifts at the phone company in Sydney. Most where drunk - throwing-up in the gutter, abusing drugs and still living off of mum and dad.
Have the wife stay at home I say, or - I could stay at home?
The Montessori Erkinder (uum.. thats too many syllables for me!) thing sounds great. But we have a food garden and I find working in it with the kids is a great experience. After all, most kids love playing in the dirt.
BUT.... I always threaten them with boarding school. When they're naughty we leave the brochures out on the coffee table .

It is not something I would do, but I can lots of reasons for people in different situations to do it, and as people have said, it does work well for many families/children.

I knew someone who boarded when she did not live that far away from the school. She named reasons that she wanted to be independent, travelling was tiring etc etc. Then I later found out that she had a different father to her siblings and her step father had basically pushed her out.

So imgaine there are dodgy family dynamics behind some of these boarders.....

I went to boarding school yrs 11+12, I gave parents an ultimatum 'boarding school or I leave and bum around'. I just found home, and the state school, not conducive to learning. Boarding school for those final years, with that goal in mind (a high uni entrance score) worked perfectly for me and I look back with some great memories on that time. The school was only 1hr drive from home so I would spend each Sunday out and about with my parents. The routine and discipline really worked for me, but on the downside this didn't continue after school. I seemed to need that 'institution' because in the real world I'm just not that disciplined. I would say that my boarding school years were among the most productive of my life... but unfortunately that effect didn't carry over too much past high school...

Boarding school has its place and I can see the benefits in the final years (11 and 12) to keep the kids focused but personally, Its not for me. For purely selfish reasons LOL. I adore having my kids around and evenings are the best time of day.

But I know many people who boarded. The other option was a third rate public school or 4 hours daily travel. If we lived rural and the local options weren't up to scratch then yes, I think we would consider it, IF we couldnt move closer to a more suitable school.

But 250metres That I find silly!! But again, better that than an empty house.

I do find their comment that it means they have meaningful time together on weekends silly though, Like they wouldnt if he was home mid week?

My neice started boarding school this year. She is in yr 10 in a Perth boarding school. Parents live 2.5hrs away on a farm.
The school near them goes from kindy to yr 9 then off to another high school in another town. This other high school does not have a good reputation so my sister has sent her off to school in Perth. Her younger sister will start at the same school next year and then the youngest in 3 yrs time.

BIL was also sent to boarding school in Perth and hated it but they really had no other choice with thier girls.

clare78 - sorry off topic but

your BIL should check his stats because he'll be disappointed with what he believes is correct! Lol. I only know this because I have a rugby mad son who has all the stats on all the different schools where the Wallabies back to the early 70's graduated from.

More on topic he'll also be attending Joey's soon.

I actually work with the father in that story. He's a lovely man. Maybe I should direct him here to read these comments

Obviously, that's what works for their family and from my understanding, their son had the choice to board or not. I think it's a case of the best of both worlds and good luck to them.

Umm MadamFrou-Frou I went to school with Malcolm and Lucy Turnball's daughter Daisy...while it as a boarding school, she was not a boarding student. She was a day student

Must have been a rumour then. Thanks for clearing that up, I stand corrected!

It wouldn't be something I would choose to do. And nor would we choose a lifestyle which would make boarding school a better option than a day school for my children's welfare.