How would you view this?

is B2B being a drama queen?

Bride 2 be has been engaged for 6mths now and has booked all her things for d wedding for may of next yr (told family relatives etc that d wedding is going to b in may 2013 in nov 2011). d wedding is a big traditional italian wedding with LOTS of cousins and aunt/uncles etc! (as B2B has a heap of relatives here who will be attending).

last week bride 2 be found out her cousin just got engaged and r planning there wedding 3 weeks after her's.

is this wrong of the cousin to do this, having her wedding that close to her's?

B2B is very upset and going crazy bout how close there weddings will be?

IMO i would b upset bout having a wedding so close to a family relative... especially if it was mine!! so i definally can view B2B perspective...

but from MY persepective as a guest to go to d wedding, it would be a huge hit $$ for a decent present to give for both weddings so close together.... i couldn't afford in my view a proper pressie 4 both of them being so close 2gether....

So my Q is the cousin being selfish in planning the wedding this close or is it a normal thing to do???

or is the B2B being a drama queen over her cousin?

She is being a drama queen.

Re: money for presents is also not a reasonable excuse as u can start putting money away for them now given that you all have a huge time given to prepare.

Is she going to miss the wedding bc of her honeymoon? I'd be a little upset I think. I would say 2-3 months gap between weddings is fine. 6 weeks is probably where I'll say it's okay.

It's also possible the other bride could only get the venue then and is just really excited to be getting married and wants to do it ASAP.

First of all, what does 'd wedding' mean?

I was in a similar situation to the bride to be as DF's brother announced his engagement nearly 6 months after us and then originally wanted to have their wedding 3-4 weeks before ours. A workmate is also in a similar position where her FBIL, I think it was, has planned his wedding for 6 weeks before theirs and she was upset about that. I can understand the disappointment and hurt that the bride must be feeling as I felt the same thing. Yes a part of it is that I felt like they were stealing my thunder but the other part of it was exactly what you've mentioned in your post. Weddings can be expensive to attend for guests and 2 weddings in one month may potentially mean that some people can only attend one. Plus its expensive for the bride to be who is paying for their own wedding to then have to find money to attend another wedding. I didn't 'go crazy' about it as such but I was pretty upset when it was first announced. I posted a vent about it on EB and a lot of people really helped me to put into perspective. So I'm not as bothered by it now. Plus they've actually ended up moving the wedding ahead to June which is better in a way because its not so close. But it does still feel a bit like our wedding might be an afterthought to theirs or like they've 'cut in front of us' so to speak by getting engaged months later but getting married before us. But at the end of the day, there's not much anyone can do about it. If thats what they want to do, they'll do it.

So, yes going crazy about it is a bit drama queen-ish but she is entitled to feel a little bit upset about it. It would probably be better for her if she moved on and focused on her own wedding though.

IMO, Drama Queen.

Yep!

Who gives a fat rats when the second wedding is. There are 1000's of weddings on each and every weekend and she is going to clash with someone.

To soothe her hysteria, remind her that her wedding-apaplooza is first! she will get to do everything she wants first! and the 2nd wedding will look like a big fat copy cat....... that should stop the hysteria and push her back into the land of smug B2B.

Yep, she's a drama queen. Maybe her cousin thought about reletives who had to come from OS and decided to have it close to her so that they could fit both of 'd' weddings in within the one trip.

To the PP I think 'd wedding' is meant to be 'the wedding'.

As they are related, it is probable that many guests will attend both weddings. Perhaps they planned to hold the wedding only three weeks later so that guests that are travelling from OS, can attend both weddings with a single trip of three weeks to Australia.

That is what my cousins and I would do if we both wanted to involve relatives or loved ones who have to travel a long way.

SM

easier said then done, imo...putting money away it can easy for 1 person and another cannot resist d extra money there.....



i told her that LOL they will copy hers but she did it 1st....

i completely understand the perspective of international guests when coming but all guests r local.

I did it to my cousin. She had her day announced, but we had been planning first in secret and had booked flights etc in when she anounced her date.

We kept planning and announced when we were ready, the day we set was 10 days before her wedding. She apparently was pretty upset - then Kate Middleton announced her wedding date for the same day as my cousins - and THAT was a big deal (for my cousin).

In the end it didn't bother anyone cause I got married overseas and no-one from that side was invited.

I personally don't think we did the wrong thing, it's a bloody date and you can't have it all to your self with a 'back-out' period around it'.

LOL at pp's cousin being upset at Kate Middletons wedding same day!

OP I dont think I would care less. Our wedding was about DH and I, our close friends and family celebrating our commitment. A friend or relative getting married a few weeks later cannot spoil that.

Can someone rewrite that post in English please

No, the cousin is not being selfish. Selfish would be planning it for the same weekend. Your friend is being a hysterical bridezilla, one of "those" brides. But if that's what she's into and loves the drama, just be a good friend and hand her the tissues at the requisite times.

{Rant on} - I hate the increasingly common use of shortcuts when some people type their posts (eg. using 2 instead of typing 'to', 'd' instead of 'the'). Just screams laziness & illiterate to me. Plus, it's not easy to read. Rant over, I'll survive. {Rant off}

Why are you speaking in text speak?

I did it to my cousin.

I was really casual on dates until I went for a look around the hunter valley and all the leaves on the vines were dead in winter (didn't cross my mind) so that narrowed our dates down significantly.

It affected 10% of the people coming to the wedding.

The cousin affected didn't come.

Drama queen.

If the wedding was booked for the same weekend, or the same day then she'd have reason to be miffed. But a few weeks apart is fine. Seriously, how long is the cousin supposed to wait before she would be 'allowed' to have her wedding?

If wedding guests can't budget for two wedding gifts with more than a year's notice, they've got problems.

Well for one thing, that time of year is popular for weddings so what was the other cousin supposed to do - wait a whole year before getting married in the month she wants to be married in?

Another thing is your friend does not hold the monopoly on the weeks surrounding her wedding day.

Thirdly it's nearly a month later! Is it really honestly that big of a deal? It's not like she's getting married on the Saturday and her cousin is getting married on the Sunday of the same weekend.

Very much bridezilla to me.

thanks!!
it good to here others perspective TO it!

i guess she will have to grow up and get over it! after all it isn't on the same day thanks everyone

Massive drama queen.

If someone told me they had issues with my wedding date being a few weeks from theirs, I would probably die laughing, because it's a ridiculous thing to carry on about.

If it doesn't worry the cousin planning the 2nd wedding, then I don't see why it should worry the first.

I posted a few weeks ago asking about having weddings close to our friends. They are getting married in mid March (*I think* I know it's March, just not sure exactly when.) We want to get married mid April. It only affects 2 couples, one of which is the other bride and groom. After we've announced our engagement, then I will just check it's ok with them... probably more from a "will you be back from your honeymoon by then" angle. If they aren't, then they just won't be able to come. We are really restricted with when we can get married (due to work and DSDs.)

I would have said, it would be been courtesy to ask if it's ok, but TBH if bride#1 is already being a bridezilla, then I probably wouldn't ask either.

Drama queen. She needs to move on, there are bigger issues in life!

One of my close friends got married 3 weeks after us. We booked our flights home from our honeymoon so that we could attend.

We were also very excited to attend a wedding so soon after we had just gotten married- I loved it!

This is i think the real 'issue' is the fact the cousin did ask my friend if it was alright to plan the wedding for that date, 3 weeks later to her's (so IMO the cousin most likly thinks it is a wrong thing to do and wanted my friends blessing for it so if people do go 'oh 2 wedding withn a month' she can say well my cousin doesn't care why should you!) my friend is a really nice girl and i have never seen her so upset about it. She wanted to get married sooner but thought of a another cousin (they have) so planned her wedding 4 months after hers.

now my friend has her cousins MOTHER CRYING and calling her up about it as SHE isn't too happy with her responce of her daughter wanting her wedding then (as the cousin did ask her her views of it, why ask if your going to do it anyways?) i guess they didn't expect her to say that as she is a happy easy going girl. and now the aunty is telling my friend to move her date later as her daughter cannot wait that long to get married, (why is she in a hurry to get married i personally wonder.... she just turned 19, my friend is 26 and been going out with her BF for 5 yrs not 6months! (my friend's cousins family IS abit crazy IMO at there other sibing's engagement the guests were expected to bring a plate, only give money as a gift and if you give a present you must have a receipt with it so they can change it if they dont like it!!- she showed me the invitation!!) now that is definally crazy! and super rude!!! in the end of augement my friend told her whats her hurry and do it b4 hers!!



Definally a friend's wedding is a different story as they dont have the same relatives,but when it basically the same people coming for the wedding i still think its a no no.

i don't think that is really the issue i guess it more the issue of it being the cousin and will be having basically the same people attend the wedding...

Sounds like she's afraid her cousin is going to have a better wedding and then people will think badly of her, or something along those lines.

Seriously, life is full of tragedy and loss and pain... this is not any of those things. She needs to get over it and start worrying about stuff worth worrying about, like famine, human rights, the environment, cruelty to animals, losing a loved one etc etc.

It's just a freaking wedding.

God help her when someone falls pregnant one month before her and steals the name she wanted for her baby since she 5!

I think 3 weeks is totally fine. However, she is entitled to feel upset, that's the thing about feelings.

We did this to my FH's sibling and partner. We became engaged a month after them and are having our wedding is 7 week weeks before theirs.

I do think they saw it as both cutting in, and being too close.

Our plan was already in place (including deposits) before they were engaged, but honestly, I don't think it would have been 'wrong' of us otherwise. Is there really a line? This is our lives. It's hard, after theirs would have been winter. I wouldn't want to delay it by 6 months because we have baby making plans and I'm concerned about fertility declining with age.

There's a limit to how much you can tailor your life to suit other people.

That being said, I feel terrible that we upset them. I hope they're okay with it now - they seem to be. I hope your friend becomes okay with her situation too. There's not probably much she can do about it. If the wedding is going to be in May 2013, people have 15 months to organise presents for two weddings. And as PPs have pointed out, perhaps she did this to make it easier with relatives flying over.