'I'm not a daycare, I have my own life': Grandmother demands payment for looking after grandson

Picture: Getty Images
Picture: Getty Images 

For many parents, grandparents are invaluable source of care for their kids. 

Whether it's to foster a close relationship, to save on childcare fees or because parents trust them more, grandparents are increasingly taking caring roles. 

Head to any park or playground on a weekday and you'll find a near even split between mums/dads and nans/pops.

But for one grandmother, having the extra time with her grandson was not incentive enough for giving up her time to look after him. 

Taking to Reddit's AITA (Am I the A**hole) thread, the woman explained that her 29-year-old daughter had asked her to look after her one-year-old son two-three days a week.

The mum, who works five days a week, was looking to return to work soon and was sorting out her daycare options when she approached the grandmother, asking if she could care for him between 7.30am-3pm on those days.

The little boy would be looked after by the mum's in-laws the other days and food would be provided, she said.

While the grandmother said she was open to the idea, she had been firm in explaining she expected to be paid for her time, requesting $12 per hour. 

"She understood my need for payment but then lowballed me with requesting $10/hour because she claims that she cannot afford it even with her $22/hour job," the grandmother wrote.


"I'm not a daycare, I have my own life, I work for myself and I think she should understand that I'd be giving up my time when I work from home, and if I'm going to be giving up that time then I need money to replace that time I'm giving up from my job."

"I love my grandson, but as I stated above, I'm not a daycare."

While the grandmother may have been looking for a sympathetic ear, she was instead reprimanded by many for not appreciating her daughter's situation or being upfront at not wanting to take on the responsibility. 

"YTA (you're the a**hole). Dude, just say you don't want to babysit. You're asking for over 2/3's of the money she's making pre-tax. Obviously she can't afford that," wrote one.

"To clarify, you're not TA for asking for compensation, you're TA because it's clear you don't actually want to do this and instead of outright saying so you're instead demanding an outrageous (for what your daughter earns) amount."

"Not for asking to be paid. After all, 24 hours a week is basically a part time job on top of your actual job. You should get paid. You're TA for trying to screw your daughter out of 2/3 of her paycheck," writes another. 

"Sure, she'll probably have to pay that at a daycare centre - maybe even more. But a centre comes with qualifications and certifications. Why do you feel like you deserve a pay rate almost equal to professional daycare workers?"

However, others agreed with her request for payment, saying her time was valuable too.

"I agree OP should be paid and if they need more than the daughter can pay it's okay to turn her down. But her post sounds like OP is accusing the daughter of trying to pull a fast one. But she'd literally be working those days to pay for childcare, which isn't feasible for anyone," one said. 

"If you want someone to give up their income to work for you then you need to replace it. If the daughter can't she needs to find another care option," argued another.