A mum has relayed a heart-stopping account of 'every parent's worst nightmare' - her kids catching her in the act!
"I thought my heart couldn't race any faster during such an intimate moment but now I'm on the verge of cardiac arrest," the Melbourne blogger and mum-of-four wrote saying her kids were meant to be asleep.
"No amount of chairs or even a chested draw was gonna stop it. It was like a stampede of elephants except there was no warning."
"So here I am, naked, not my best angle, Legs sky high!" she continued the elaborate description, saying it felt like it 'happened in slow motion'.
"The creek of the door, the hall light shining on our faces as if we were criminals of the night," she said.
Her solution to the unexpected intrusion had followers in stitches.
"I played dead," Hood exclaimed. "I played bloody dead!!"
"I even threw a little bit of the tongue out the side of my mouth," she added. "Lost my dignity and any sense I had too during my most valuable time."
Luckily, her husband Karl acted a bit quicker than she did.
"Reaching around for a blanket Karl flew over me like batman with his cape, hiding any evidence of the act," she said. "I was hoping Karl was performing a magic trick to be honest, one that would see the kids remove the blanket and I had disappeared!"
"My thoughts were racing, So were we quick enough? What did they see? Oh my God they're going to be in therapy for life!" the mum sighed, saying although her kids are young they're not as innocent as she would like.
"I could see us being her highlight of school holidays, her "tell" at show and tell on the first day back," she mused, saying her husband's explanation of the situation was that they were 'play fighting' and he was 'giving mummy a massage'.
"DUMB DUMB DUMB answer," Hood exclaimed. "REALLY KARL REALLY!"
Although her husband seemed convinced that he'd covered up their act of love convincingly, when the kids walked away they clearly knew exactly what they parents up to, with her daughter telling her brother, "mum and dad were doing sex'.
"I've scarred my kids for life, either that or I've set them up for a life of 'blackmailing mummy and daddy',"Hood concluded
"They have one over us and I'm worried. Kids are more clued on than we give them credit for."
Hood's followers loved the honest post, feeling sympathetic but also laughing at the comedy of the situation.
"I just woke my sleeping baby in fits of laughter, crying at the hilarity of it all!" One mother wrote. "I'm petrified of when this will happen to us. Because it's not a matter of if, it's when."
"It's happened to the best of us," assured another. "Brilliant though!"
What to tell your kids if they catch you having sex
"First, and foremost, we need to reassure them that what they saw was mum and dad enjoying themselves, not hurting each other," Ms Stephens told Essential Baby.
"Secondly, we reinforce that it was private and an adult activity, not bad or rude. We want them to grow up with a healthy perception of their body and sexuality.
"Finally, we need to address the information they require. Never ignore the situation as this sends strong messages that sex is bad and not something they can talk about."