'I was shocked': why mum won't help daughter pay for driving lessons

Photo: Getty Images
Photo: Getty Images 

Picture this: a mother has two young adult daughters - one is sensible with her money, the other is a more frivolous spender. So sensible spending sister asks for help to pay for driving lessons while her frivolous sibling needs money to take her boyfriend on dates. Which one does mum give the money to?

If you, understandably, believe the sensible sister got the cash you would be wrong - and now the mum in question has taken to reddit to reddit to ask whether she is being unfair.

"Mary was always the responsible one. She had good grades and was very responsible with money," the woman started the post, saying her daughter, who is now 23, has had a job since she was 16 and has worked at the same job throughout university.

"I was always very proud of her for the fact that she could pay for everything herself and never asking for a single cent".

The mum went on to describe her younger daughter Fiona's financial situation, describing her as not being very good with money.

"She had several low paying jobs over the last few summers but spent everything she had on clothes or other accessories she didn't really need" she wrote.

"When she turned 18, I paid for her driver's licence. I also gave her an allowance of $20 a week since she got a boyfriend, so she could occasionally pay for dates etc."

Fiona moved out with her boyfriend and she occasionally pays for things such as petrol and dates with her boyfriend, and she receives $300 a month from her father to help with expenses.

All was good and well, until Mary recently asked her for some financial assistance after she lost her job due to the coronavirus pandemic - and mum refused.
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"She [Mary] approached me, asking if I could help her out with some money to pay for the extra driving lessons she had to take," she explained to reddit users, saying her daughter said she needed six extra lessons that would cost around $300.

"I was honestly shocked," she exclaimed. "I flat out refused to give her any money towards that because her sister didn't need any extra lessons and drives just fine."

Mary then accused her mother of favouring her younger sister.

"I must admit, I laughed at that," the woman wrote, which angered Mary who started screaming at mother which was very out of character.

"I tried explaining to her that most of the money I've given to Fiona was so she could invite her boyfriend on dates so he didn't have to pay for everything and that she didn't have a boyfriend until recently, so she didn't need money." Right.

Strangely, this didn't help the situation and Mary left crying, calling her mother a nasty a—hole.

"I also talked to my husband about it and now he is mad at me too," the bewildered woman said.

"He told me to think about it and apologise to my daughter, but I don't think I should."

Users disagreed, with most confused about why mum is refusing to help her eldest daughter out.

"OP's (original poster's) reaction made it seem like she quit her job and asked for a couple thousand dollars to go to clown school," one user joked.  

"It actually does sound like you favour Fiona if you're happy to pay for dates for her and her boyfriend but not to help Mary when she's experiencing genuine financial difficulty," another pointed out.

Sorry mum, but we have to agree.