'Am I a bad mum?': Dad slammed for demanding wife quit her job to look after kids

Photo:Getty Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Returning to work after having a baby can be an emotional experience for any mother.

While many feel excited to get back to their career, there's often guilt about leaving kids in care, along with the general pressure and stress trying to juggle work and small children. 

One woman is furious following a conversation with her husband, after he (and her mother-in-law) told her she should quit her job to look after their kids.

Explaining to Reddit that they share two sons, aged four and two, they have been fortunate enough to both work up until this point, with her mother-in-law minding them.

"We work nine till five and we do pay her to mind them," she wrote. "We are really lucky that she offered to mind them as it was nice to have someone we both knew and trusted to mind our kids."

Although the arrangement was working well, her mother-in-law recently said she doesn't want to look after the kids anymore.

"I brought this up to my husband and he agreed that it was the right thing to do and then asked when I would take over," she wrote incredulously.  "I said I thought we would look for another person to mind the kids so that we could both work."

"He got really annoyed at this and said under no circumstances was that happening." She continued. "I didn't understand why? We could afford it. I love my job and feel it gives me a second purpose away from the kids."

However, her husband refused to get a babysitter, and instead went on to say some pretty horrible things to the mum-of-two.


"He kept arguing about it, telling me to look at it logically," she said. "Then since I wasn't arguing back or agreeing with him, he said that I must really hate our kids if I didn't want to quit my job and spend time with them."

"That really hurt me," she admitted. "I love our kids so much and spend all my time out of work with them."

"I was hurt by him saying that," she continued. "So [I] argued that if we were to look at it logically his way, then the person with the higher income should stay working."

Making the point that as she earns more than her husband, she should be the one to go back to work he straight up refused, telling her he shouldn't have to give up his career when she could, resulting in the two not speaking to each other at the moment.

"I don't understand why it's such a big deal," she said. 'He told his mother and she rang me to tell me I was in the wrong and should give up my job to let him work."

"He has made me feel really guilty and I'm unsure if I am wrong here," she confessed, assuring users she's got nothing against stay at home parents bit loves her job.

"[Am I a] bad mother for wanting to work instead of stay at home and mind our kids?" she asked the forum.

Users were quick to point out it was a huge double standard and incredibly hypocritical of her husband to accuse her of not loving her children because she wants to work.

"You have every right to value your career as much as he does," one user replied. "If it's that important to him, he can quit work and stay home with the children. If he doesn't want to...then he knows exactly how you feel."

"Your husband is somehow stuck in the 1960s. He's sexist and his mother is encouraging his chauvinistic behaviour," commented another. "You earn more, he should be the one to stay home with the kids. He's being absurd."