The 10 mums you'll meet during lockdown: which one are you?

Photo: From "I Don't Know How She Does It" / The Weinstein Company
Photo: From "I Don't Know How She Does It" / The Weinstein Company  

There are so many different ways parents are responding to life in lockdown.

Here are just 10 examples.

Which iso-mum are you? 

Prepared mum

She wasn't panic buying, she was prepping! She was filling up her pantry back when the rest of us were cracking jokes about lime (you know, because Corona lager). She put up with her friends and family making fun of her, but she got the last laugh when the shops ran out of essential supplies. Shares toilet paper. 

Craft mum

When everyone else was panic buying toilet roll, she was stocking up on poster paint and non-toxic glue. She has a rainbow poster on her front door and is currently assembling a dolls house out of cardboard boxes. Shares inspirational quotes with her neighbours (via the medium of pavement chalk.) 

Pass-the-wine mum

She isn't pouring wine on her cornflakes (yet), but isn't ashamed to admit that her alcohol consumption has increased exponentially in the last five weeks. Look, it's five o'clock somewhere and the old 'no drinking on weeknights' rule doesn't really work when no one knows what day it is. Has considered doing Dry July this year, but only if school is back to five days a week. Shares 10 drinking memes a day

Baking mum

She is the reason that flour was sold out across the nation. Baking is a great way to relieve stress, and let's face it, comfort eating has never been more, well, comforting. Since the lockdown began she has made enough cupcakes to feed a small army. Shares recipes and sourdough starter.  

Informed mum  

She is consuming the news cycle faster than baking mum is consuming cookies. She didn't panic buy anything because she was too busy reading about panicking buying mobs in the Sydney Morning Herald.

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Since the lockdown started she has made it her mission to keep her friends up-to-date with the very latest coronavirus developments. Has been known to deliver breaking news to her WhatsApp groups before the journalist responsible has finished writing it. Shares (and re-tweets) information.  



Sociable mum

On zoom like crack. Her insatiable need to interact with other mums has not been remotely deterred by social distancing ("erm, it's physical distancing, actually.") Hosts at least 10 catch up's a day and thinks that 'digital fatigue' is for whimps. Shares Zoom invitations. 

Conspiracy theory mum

She genuinely believes that that Covid-19 is the work of Bill Gates. Shares links to horrifying 'articles' from blamebigpharma.blogspot.com 

Loves home school mum

She always wanted to be a teacher (even though she went into marketing) and is thrilled to have an opportunity to open her own little school. Slightly miffed that her kids' actual teachers are setting plenty of work via remote learning as it totally messes with the science project/Roman fort extravaganza that she had planned. Shares on-line learning recourses ("You guys, there is loads of Latin in Harry Potter!).

Exercise mum

Look, she misses the gym, but doing classes on-line means that she is doing more exercise than ever before. Wants to be best friends with Joe Wicks and waits in a heightened state of anticipation for the day he gives her kids a shout out. She is the reason that K-Mart ran out kettle bells. Shares time-lapse videos of herself working out on Facebook. 

Harassed mum

She always suspected that she was carrying the lion share of domestic responsibly and now she knows it for sure. Quietly seethes when her husband sneaks off for a two-hour videoconference while she juggles work/home school/10 thousand snack requests. Has fully embraced pyjamas as daywear. Has no time for sharing.