Man outraged after his mother performs secret paternity test on his daughter

The man is furious at his mother for performing a paternity test on his daughter
The man is furious at his mother for performing a paternity test on his daughter  Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Parents want what is best for their children, but how far is too far?

A man has taken to Reddit to ask if he's out of line for cutting his mother out of his life after she secretly performed a paternity test on his five-year-old daughter, because she was afraid the child wasn't biologically his.

"I've been with my wife for 8 years," the man begins his post, "[we] were together for around 2 years when we had a fight and broke up. We were broken up for 3 months, during which we both slept with other people, and then we got back together."

He then goes on to say his wife found out she was pregnant after being back together for around two months. "We knew there was a possibility of one other man being the biological father," he wrote "but it was more likely to be mine."

"I've known since my wife got pregnant that there was a possibility our daughter wasn't my biological child. I don't care." 

The man was adamant he has never wanted to know if his daughter was biologically his, saying he's always has and always will consider her his daughter regardless. Unfortunately, his mother didn't share the same mentality.

The man says his daughter looks like his wife and shares similarities, especially her mannerisms. The only thing that is different is the colour of her eyes, which are brown while him and his wife have green and blue eyes.

"Meanwhile my son, with his green eyes, blonde hair, and bone structure, looks like I cloned myself, and looks very different to his dark haired, dark eyed sister," he says, saying his mother comments on this often causing tension in the family.  The man admits his wife and mother are "very different people" and "their personalities just don't mix" which doesn't help the situation.

"Last week mum came over and said she had something important to tell me," he continues. "When she had my daughter unsupervised, she did one of those DNA test kits on my daughter, comparing it to her own DNA (which she apparently ordered months ago for this exact purpose and was waiting to use it) and it confirmed my daughter isn't biologically related to me."

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The outraged man continued saying his mother then began to tell him about a lawyer she could recommend to begin divorce proceedings. "I told her this changes nothing, she's still my daughter," he said, which angered his mother, who started calling his wife names and resulted in him telling her to get out of his house.

"It's been nearly a week. I've told my wife, blocked my mother on everything, and there's been constant calls and texts," he continued, saying his mother is furious.

"I never told her that I had an inkling, and has since disowned my daughter, but says my [two-year-old] son is still her 'special little guy', so she wants a relationship with my son but not my daughter," he complains.

The man said all five of his siblings including his father are angry with him for cutting his mother out.

"They want me to get back in touch, and a couple of them have even said I should thank mum for what she did as she was looking out for me and now I know," he exclaimed. "However, I can't justify my mother going behind my back to get a DNA test on my daughter without consulting me."

"I feel I'm in the right, but I also feel I could be overreacting" he asked Reddit users. "I would appreciate another perspective as I'm seriously considering cutting contact with my mother over this, AITA (Am I The A—hole?"

The post blew up, with over two thousand people commenting on the post, assuring the poster that he wasn't in the wrong.

"I agree, she did not do this thinking of you," one user pointed out. "If she had your well-being in mind, she wouldn't have meddled and would have made an honest effort to become close with your wife."

"What his mother did is awful and disrespectful to him, but I'm even more disturbed by her 'disowning' his daughter and only wanting a relationship with his son," another Reddit user agreed. Regardless of anyone's feelings about the circumstances of her birth, she is every bit as important and as much a part of the family as her brother. Treating a child differently because of something she has no control over is disgusting."