Kylie Orr
If you think your child is gifted read on. If you have a truly gifted child, meaning a child who has been tested by all the accepted guidelines, having an IQ over 130 with an intellect beyond their expected chronological age, then you can close this topic now.
I am referring to those parents who think their child is gifted because they popped up their first two teeth at three months, ate with a spoon at eight months, without spilling anything and won first place in the pier to pub marathon at eighteen months. These children are not gifted. Their parents are. Know any parents like this?
The "g" word gets bandied about so recklessly nowadays. A child recognises the first letter of his name before he can actually speak so his proud mum thinks he is advanced, potentially gifted. The fact it is written on every surface of the house and pointed out to him multiple times a day doesn't register.
My children seem to be cruising along OK. Slow learners in the sleep department but otherwise appear to be cluey like their dad in many other areas. I contributed sweet-FA to their intellectual know-how, although when they are older, I intend to teach them some creative uses for swear words. I'd like to know I’ve imparted some wisdom to their social education. Despite my belief that my children have it going on in the intellectual arena, I am not delusional. I don't for one second think they are gifted.
Gifted children are streaks ahead in every sense of the word. They have unrivalled acuity, heightened senses, longer concentration spans and phenomenal abilities to master new skills at break-neck speed. If your child is yelling at their sibling for being too noisy, sitting for hours "concentrating" on a movie and mastering the art of hiding broccoli in the butter without anyone noticing, they don't qualify.
As parents, there is nothing wrong with being proud of your children. When they achieve something that is difficult or significant to them, by all means whoop and cheer and encourage outrageous fanfare. Enrolling them in a gifted and talented program because it makes you look like the winning parent is not kosher. Ultimately, no one cares if your child is ultra bright, particularly if you stand out the front of class 5B with your megaphone shouting that Ben achieved within the top 3% of the state in the Annual Algorithms Playoffs. Inviting his friend over for a sleepover is going to do a whole lot more for Ben’s self-esteem than the title of Algorithm Master.
I am not promoting mediocrity here. This is not an onslaught to make people with smart kids feel anal, ambitious, or obnoxious because their child shows promise above and beyond the kids around them. However, claiming your child is gifted when they're just not a complete dumbass actually makes a mockery of the genuinely gifted. All our kids are unique and each one of them is talented at something. It may only be picking their nose and eating it without being noticed by their mother (yes, darling four year old, I am talking about you), but we must give credit where due.
The children that are truly gifted, actually have many challenges to face. Pressure to succeed and achieve brilliance with their advanced skills often resulting in deliberate underachieving to avoid being noticed; being perceived as slightly eccentric by other children and therefore potentially ostracised; finding ways to maintain intellectual stimulation whilst remaining a "kid" are all experiences of adversity we as parents would rather our children not have to endure, if we had any control over it.
Spare a thought for the truly gifted children and their parents. They are the ones avoiding attention for fear of being viewed as pushy pageant parents. Yet, these are the children who need to be extended and supported, at home, in school and our wider society.
Leave the parent brag books at home and let your child lead the way. If they are in fact gifted, it will burst through the gums, just as their teeth did.
Do you know someone who thinks his or her child is gifted? Do you have a gifted child (in the true, tested sense of the word) & feel the label is used by parents willy-nilly?
Comment on Kylie's blog.
