Kylie Orr
Being the mother of three boys comes with some fringe benefits: escaping the torture of clothing arguments is a major one. At least that’s what I thought when I lived in la-di-da land with babies who didn’t protest as I rugged them in ridiculous (possibly unfashionable) layers fit for Nordics. I should have known better than to stereotype gender. At six, four, and one, my sons already have an inbuilt cool-o-meter that is so honed, no skivvy or daggy singlet is slipping past.
A recent stroll, or maybe scramble is a more apt word, through the clothes department at our local shopping precinct presented me with a mountain of undesirable clothing options. My shopping list was basic: some T-shirts for my boys, and a cute outfit for a friend who’d just had a baby girl. Simple task one would imagine.
The expedition could have been incident-free had I been content to dress my one-year-old in items covered in skulls and crossbones, superheroes or wrestling characters. From his personality so far, I don’t think he needs the encouragement. Bloodshed and skeletons sprawled over a t-shirt, no matter how minute the details, are incredibly unpleasant attire for any age, let alone a toddler.
So, I ventured into the pink clothing department, where admittedly, I’m a foreigner. It seems if you’re happy to label your daughter a Diva, Princess, Rock Goddess or Glamour Puss, then you’d have no problem choosing a suitable item of clothing for her. Mini skirts and crop tops in the middle of winter for preschoolers? Itchy tutus for new babies? Or perhaps a little black, upon black with a splash of hot pink, disguised by black? I left empty-handed feeling like an old fashioned prude.
I’m permanently amused by two-month-old babies in jeans and puffer jackets who look far more uncomfortable than cute. Sure, the size 000 mini-Levi’s look irresistible on the rack but stick them over a bulky nappy on a baby who cannot reshuffle themselves, and have yourself an irritable infant all in the name of fashion. But it’s OK, because they’ll be wearing their mini Nikes just in case they have an overwhelming urge to go for a jog. No pain, no gain, right?
I tend to lose some of that amusement when I spy babies in outfits with slogans (made famous by Cotton On) like:
“I'm Living Proof that My Mum is Easy", “I’m a tits man”, "Wipe my Butt Sucker" and"They Shake Me". But like I admitted earlier, I am a prude. Child abuse and derogatory remarks towards women just don’t do it for me.
I acknowledge I am the mother who would dress my children in all-in-ones until they were teenagers, if they let me. They are cosy and comfy and they keep babies, well, babies.
Why are we in such a godforsaken hurry to age our kids? I don’t want my four-year-old dressed like a rapper showing too much builder’s crack thanks to a chain weighing his pants down. Isn’t this the domain of the teenage world? Can’t I delay the arguments until those years when my opinion will have no value and my preference bear no weight on my son’s clothing choices? I can still exercise some discretion over what they wear while I am the one buying the clothes but if what is on offer on the racks lets me down, am I left to dress my children in their school uniform on weekends?
I think we can do better. A whole lot better. Buying into the rubbish, the offensive slogans and the tacky labels is simply supporting an industry that we should expect more from. I want to dress my kids like kids and I want the option to do that without being railroaded into garments that are completely unsuitable because there is plainly nothing else to buy. If only I could sew…
Are you bothered by the children's clothing options available? Comment on Kylie's Blog.
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