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seayork2002

Friday fluffy - if you could talk to characters?

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seayork2002

What would you say to them?

(movie/tv/books)

My first one is

if your friend/partner/relative tells you 'its ok nothing will go wrong I will be alright' it will NOT BE OK!

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SeaPrincess

Never trust anyone who says “Trust me”

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Meepy

If you hear a noise when you are home alone, something bad will happen.

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Mrs Claus
Posted (edited)

Turn on the lights!

Edited by Mrs Claus
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MooGuru

Why are you going to investigate that weird noise in the basement?  Nothing good ever happens in a dark basement. 

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Bono25

Don't go outside when you hear a weird noise!! 

Don't drop the knife /wood whatever after you've hit the guy once! 

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Jane Jetson

I've been reading a lot of those domestic thriller type things because I don't want to brain, and the number-one piece of advice I have to female protagonists is don't let complete strangers live in your house for no apparent reason. It will not go well.

Also, fictional people? If you're booked to go to a hotel, check that it's not a tiny boutique hotel out in the wilds of nowhere where the phone and internet are either non-existent "so you can get away from the modern world" or go out of service with the constant massive storms in your chosen location. Because if you go there, you will get murdered. If you're the murderer, consider that there is not really as much of a market for such venues as you may think and find somewhere more comfortable to lure your victims.

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Ozquoll

"There's five of you and one of him - why don't you all attack him at the same time instead of letting him kick each of your arses individually?"

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BadCat

No, it's not sweet when he pesters you until you give in and go on a date with him.

No, it's not a wonderful sign of unending devotion that even now your patronus speaks of a love you never had. It's creepy, obsessive and weird. Grow up.

No, you should not agree to marry someone you've never had an actual conversation with because you don't speak each other's language.

No, you should not change yourself to a s*utty new you to catch the man you had a holiday fling with and who has treated you like sh*t ever since.

I'm sure I'll have more after dinner.

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Ozquoll
5 minutes ago, MooGuru said:

Why are you going to investigate that weird noise in the basement?  Nothing good ever happens in a dark basement. 

Also - why even have a basement? They just seem creepy to me 🤔

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JustCurious100

Dont befriend a certain killer if he has a knife and a gun... he'll chop you up with a chainsaw 😳

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can'tstayaway
10 minutes ago, Ozquoll said:

Also - why even have a basement? They just seem creepy to me 🤔

It’s easier to kick the crap you feel obliged to keep down to the basement than haul it up to the attic 😆 

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BadCat

No, do not send a recent;y graduated pilot who has not been able to engage since the death of his RIO to deal with an international incident.

No, heart is not enough if they scriptwriter doesn't like you.

Mate, the snotty girl you fancy isn't worth a quarter of what your best female friend who's in love with you is.

Honey, the hot guy is a creep. He will try to shag you on prom night and he already shagged your sister. 

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BBC

Say "Goodbye" when you end a phone conversation. It's rude to  just hang up.

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BadCat

Lizzie, tell everyone that Wickham is the bad guy.

Atreyu, don't ride Artax into THAT!

Lois, look beyond the glasses.

Everyone, don't waste your ammo shooting at the bad guys, they never hit you anyway.

Jack, skip the poker game.

Never wear a red shirt on a strange planet.

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Ernegirl

Get out of the water! Now!

Also Artax 😪

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Ernegirl

Actually the 'USA saves the world' narrative in so many movies has been poignant for me, given that the country is on its knees. It's actually so sad.

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Jenflea

Why do you think that you, a woman who works in a secondhand bookstore/bakery/yarn store/quilting shop/florist(etc etc) with NO police training, could catch the murderer any faster or easier than the actual police with their resources? 

 

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Black Velvet

When you leave your apartment, LOCK  YOUR DOOR! Wtf, do you want to get robbed?

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Sancti-claws
Posted (edited)

I am sorry but where are your children?

(or rather, where do you get such easy to dispose children? - it always gets me that the perfect mother can drop everything and do wonders with no thought about the baby, the toddler or the school aged child in movies and books.  Childcare is not that easy, folks)

Edited by Sancti-claws
in case people got the wrong end of the stick
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Freddie'sMum

Sancti-claws - I always thought that about Friends when Rachel has a baby and you NEVER sse the baby !  The baby was always asleep or in another room and the 6 of them just carried on their pre-baby life !

Nobdy seems to ever close a door, say goodbye on the phone, tell someone else to stop being a blockhead or have the characters talk over each other - which is what actually happens in real life.  

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Paddlepop

Turn your lights off when you leave the house. You don't need all of those lamps on using up electricity, costing you money, creating emissions and using up the life of the light bulbs. I grew up getting in trouble if I ever left a light on in a room, so walking out the house and leaving all of the lights on is just so wrong. 

Lock your bloody security door. Maybe then the random stranger who knocks on your door won't be able to get inside and murder you when you open the front door. They'll have to break through the security door first and might instead move on to a different victim who is too stupid to lock their security door. 

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Jenflea

Lock your car when you get out and don't leave the window down!

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anatomicalheart

There is, in fact, something in between eating gourmet restaurant meals and toast made from forgotten scraps of bread in the freezer.

You can, in fact, exit a plane looking other than glamorous. 

And please, if you're going to leave your doors unlocked/ investigate a mystery you're unqualified to solve/ wander off into the darkness ill-equipped with weapon of choice...at least don't have the audacity to act surprised when something bad happens. 

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spr_maiden

FGS, put on your seatbelt. 

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