In a move that will not see him nominated for dad, or partner, of the year anytime soon, one man has told his fiancée to stop using pregnancy and the birth of their two children as an 'excuse' for why her body has changed.
The less than supportive dad even went as far as accusing his partner of 'terrible mothering', saying she made the decision to have kids 'as an adult with free will' so should take responsibility for the results of that choice.
Unsurprisingly, the man was slammed when he took to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong.
The man wrote that since he, 48, and his partner, 46, had their two kids - aged three and four - his wife had become less interested in working out at the gym.
Explaining that pre-kids they were both 'fitness enthusiasts' who loved mountain biking, CrossFit and competitive rowing, the man said couldn't understand why his partner seemed less interested in exercise now. She no longer took 'pride' in pushing herself 'to the limit' to keep up with him, he said.
While she still did workout, he was disappointed his partner now felt using the treadmill was now hard work.
"She was having trouble with her 'miles' of extra skin (her words not mine) and said her 'gym rat' days are over. She ended up gaining weight, had spider veins, and would say that she was now 'momma' to her kids and that I say I want a 'sexy partner' not just a 'momma'," he said.
After receiving no support for her changed shape at home, the new mum sought validation from online mum groups - something her partner described as 'tacky'. He was particularly displeased when she agreed to take part in a magazine photo shoot celebrating her post-partum body, something he called 'a whole lot of indecent taste'.
"She and about 19 other women ended up having pictures taken of their so called 'tiger stripes' and talked about embracing their mum bodies," he said.
"There was a picture where the two kids' feet was resting near where my fiancée's stomach 'crepe' texture started. My fiancée wrote an excerpt about how she used to be an avid rower and never shy in a bikini but for the longest time after the kids she ached everywhere and could barely get her excess weight and skin into her leggings.
"She says she felt undesirable, like she felt not valuable because she had lost her beauty and fitness. But then she tries to dispel it all by saying she realises that her kids don't care and think she's beautiful and that her body made her proud to be a woman because it housed her kids for nine months."
The clearly clueless dad then turned to Reddit to ask if he was an a**hole for: 'thinking that she needed to hear that she can't blame others when if she really ruined her body that was her own decision, not my kids?'.
The answer was a defeaning yes!
"She's not blaming the kids for ruining her body ...YOU ARE. She never stated that her body was ruined; you did. This is completely your problem. You seem to be blaming her for changing (physically and mentally) after the birth of YOUR children," said one person.
"Unless you are a professional athlete, if your physical fitness did not take a hit between the birth and your child's fifth birthday, you are not doing enough as a parent," added one dad. "It sounds like your fiancée is exhausted because you are insisting on being a gym rat instead of a parent."
"This is the man of all women's nightmares. Imagine sacrificing your whole body to have kids with someone and the gremlin body shames you after the miracles you performed in your 40s," agreed a third.
Others added that no amount of exercise could undo the toll growing and birthing babies takes on the body.
"All the workouts in the world will not get rid of the stretch marks or loose skin from childbirth, if she can even find time to go to the gym with two little kids," argued one.